The natural hot springs were located in the mountains on Tanarus. They were surrounded by tall trees that created a canopy of sorts. Birds could be heard up in the branches of the tall trees. There were also candles around the spring lit, and flowers were in bloom around it everywhere. Karissa rested her head against Ryan's chest, as they sat in the hot spring togther, her straddling his lap. They enjoying the feeling and the closeness it brought them, unhindered by clothing, which was laid out on a nearby rock with a couple of towels. She reveled in the feel of his hands as they tenderly caressed her back.
As she listened to his heart, she sighed contentedly. "I could stay like this forever," she smiled.
He was silent, but instead of caressing her back, his arms went around her and held her close. She knew what he was thinking, and didn't want to voice it aloud. After all, she felt the same way. She wanted to hold onto the dream that they were still together and this was just some vacation they were taking together. But, of course, the truth of the matter was that he was dead and she was not and sooner or later, she had to return to the real world.
Tenderly, Ryan lifted her face up, so he could look into her dark eyes as he caressed her face. "God, I love you . . ."
"I love you too . . ." She said. With that, she leaned toward him and kissed him gently.
But soon, the kiss turned passionate and she could feel him against her. She accepted this last moment of lovemaking before she finally had to give up her dream for another day. She cried out with him and then slumped against him, for the moment, physically worn out.
"You have to go soon," he said. "It's almost as if I can feel it."
She was silent as she buried her face in his neck. She kissed him gently.
"I know it's something you'd prefer not to discuss, but it is part of the strange afterlife we seem to have," he said. "Shouldn't we at least speak a bit about it?"
"Why?" she asked, "And ruin what little happiness we can get out of this."
"I don't know . . . I am just concerned for you," he replied. "Are you sure this is in your best interests to keep seeing me? Don't get me wrong, darling, I love you and being without you kills me," he said. "But I feel as if I'm keeping you from getting on with your life."
"I live for the children, Ryan . . . That's all . . ." she said. "There is no man alive that will ever be what you were to me. No man could ever possibly measure up."
He kissed her again. "Soulmates are hard to come by . . ."
She nodded. "I don't want to live without you . . ."
"As long as you can find your way to me, you never will," he replied, as he caressed her face.
She snuggled into his arms once again, enjoying the feel of him. Wishing this moment could last forever, yet knowing sooner or later, she had to end the program.
Karissa had just stepped out of the holodeck, her dark hair still wet. Her mind was on Ryan and she wasn't paying attention to where she was going. Suddenly, she ran right into Will.
"Oh, sorry!" Karissa replied. "I wasn't watching where I was going . . ."
"Thinking about something, were you?" he asked.
She merely nodded, but couldn't bring herself to say anything. She wanted to run right back into the holodeck and be absorbed into the program. And she had a feeling something was about to happen. She saw the look in Will's eyes and could feel his concern for her.
"What is it?" Karissa asked, sensing there was something he wanted to address with her. He seemed hesitant, so she gazed at him and said softly. "If you don't tell me what's on your mind, I'll just have to read it and find out for myself."
"I'm concerned for you, Karissa," he said, finally, taking a breath.
Her eyes grew big for a moment. "You're worried about me? In what way?" she asked. All in all, she thought that her behavior around others had improved considerably as of late. She maybe still wasn't socializing all that much, but she was handling her job better than ever and also her responsibilities to her children.
"I've been keeping tabs on your usage of the holodeck," he told her. "And it seems that over the last few months, you usage has increased dramatically . . It's not normal."
For a moment, she was stunned silent. "You checked up on me?" she asked.
"Karissa, I'm concerned . . . You seem to be burning yourself out . . . You work all day, spend as much time with the children as you can and then you sneak off to the holodeck for whatever program you're running. "
"None of your business what program I'm running!" she replied defensively, yet knowing, she shouldn't be. "And I'm still getting my normal 4 hours of sleep! Why would you be worried about me burning myself out?"
Will shook his head. "You are going for 20 hours of the day," he said. "I'm sure you can't keep that up forever. It can't be healthy for you . . ."
"You have no idea what's healthy for me!" Karissa replied. "Just . . . back off . . ." With that, she walked around him and toward her quarters. After a couple of steps she was at a breakneck run. She didn't stop to look at Will, or feel his emotions. He didn't understand what had happened. All she wanted to do was get away from him and his questions.
Will watched as she vanished down the corridor until she was out of sight. He still couldn't believe how fast she moved. But the one thing he knew was that she was using the holodeck to escape. He had no idea what she was escaping to, but her usage was getting worse and he wasn't sure what he was going to do about it . . . Or if he should do anything.