Nicole sat in the pilot's seat on her ship and rested her feet against the console. She'd fled the holo deck when she'd awoken with Stephen. That had been over a week ago and she still thought about his warm hands on her arms and shoulders. Hers on his chest. The sweet kiss...
She rubbed her face. How did that happen. She thought to herself. She liked and respected him... But, he's still very married in his heart and mind. She'd left messages for him before heading off on this three day run to Yukon. She squared her shoulders and just watched the stars move by outside the cockpit. Nicole was three hours from her return to the station.
She climbed out of the seat and walked to the replicator, "Tea-orange pekoe. Hot." When it materialized she took the cup and walked around checking her load. Fifteen minutes later she heard the beeping from the cockpit... she walked forward and silenced the alarm sliding in to the seat and scanning space around her... There were two large ships to her starboard side. She and the instruments registered phaser weapon discharges. She heard one of the ship's issue a mayday call. She turned her ship and went to warp and an hour later came out with the station dead ahead. She accessed her comm and transmitted the alarm.
"SB901 Command has heard the call and will dispatch help. Freighter Delta-V, you are cleared to land."
"Received, SB901, will dock in ten minutes." She finished off her tea on her approach and watched as a military craft high tailed it out to help the freighter in trouble. She landed her shuttle and exited and after several minutes in the cargo masters office she had a crew coming to unload. Nicole arrived, popped the hatch and started UN-securing the load. She checked the time and thought about placing a call through to Stephen, when the dock crews arrived and started unloading. She signed the receipt, secured the hold and headed back to her quarters.
There she showered and changed into tights and an over sized shirt and deck shoes. She checked her messages and found two from Adonis—she forwarded the messages to Tara Carmichael's message box, and scanned the rest including her next run from Yukon enterprises, but none were from Stephen.
Nicole walked out of her quarters and out though the promenade and took the lift up to the residential section Blue two. She rang the buzzer at their quarters. She fidgeted and chewed a thumb nail but then the door sprang open and there stood Lazarus Tara. "Well, look what the cat dragged in. Nicole, come in."
Nicole stepped through the door and hesitated with Laz at her back, thinking that she'd find Stephen there... "I'm looking for Stephen?"
He stepped around her and rested against a couch and crossed his arms over his chest. Laz looked her up and down and shook his head. "He's out on an errand and I don't know when he'll be back."
"Damn!" She walked over and sat in a chair and looked up into his eyes with her green eyes, face framed by her auburn hair pulled loose from its braid. "I'm sorry." She saw his smile and that inflamed her but she refused to cry. "There was an accident—and I really want to talk to him."
"She calls 'it' and accident?" He said with a smile and a laugh.
"It was!" She protested. He just continued to smile. He walked over to the replicator, "Two Long Island Iced Teas." He handed one of the frosty glasses to Nicole. "Here, I think you need this."
She frowned but took a sip and coughed. "Sorry, didn't expect it to be so strong." She was quiet for a moment. "I don't want to hurt anyone, especially Stephen, but I need to see him. Do you understand?"
"Yes," He paused and sat in the chair across from the woman who definitely needed some fashion help." And while I may joke and pull your metaphysical tail, I want the same thing you do." He watched as she sipped her drink and relaxed a bit. He waited until the silence was uncomfortable. "I would love to stay but I have to be at the Easy Inn in a few minutes. You are welcome to wait here."
"I probably shouldn't... " She started to stand and he rested his hand on her shoulder and pushed her back down into the chair.
"I don't have a problem with it. He should show up sometime; and if I should run into him I'll steer him this way."
Lazarus disappeared into one of the rooms and came out with flair and a vast amount of energy... "If you get tired of the wait you can always come to the Easy Inn but I suggest you change... " He left the living room and she was alone in the silence. She thought about turning on the vid and watching something but between the drink and the long flight she was tired.
She knew which door led to Stephen's room, even though she'd never been in there... Nicole stood and put both empty glasses away and walked toward Stephen's room and the door opened and she hung out in the doorway. She saw in the dim light that was on above the bed that there wasn't a lot to the room, various artifacts and knick knack's from his various assignments, and multiple pictures of a beautiful young woman that she could only assume was his wife... Dana. There were some actual leather bound books and a portable computer terminal, and a private Bajoran shrine.
She entered and knelt in front of the little shrine and closed her eyes, said a prayer, and bowed until her head touched the table top. She stood in one fluid motion and sat on the edge of the bed. The drink was relaxing all of the tight muscles and made her warm and loose. She liked the atmosphere of the room and could smell the sent of him. She knew she shouldn't be here but it was comforting... and she laid her head down for just a moment to think. Then she would get up and head back to her quarters.
Stephen entered his quarters and called out for Jovani and Laz but got no response. He stepped into his room and saw Nicole asleep on his bed...
He looked at her in shock, yet he almost felt the urge to lie down next to her. He took a moment to watch her, unsure at what to do. Then he turned around, took a deep breath, and began to walk out of the room to lie down in Jovani's room.
She felt the stirring of the air in the room, felt the weight of his eyes and heard the door open. She sat up and said, "Stephen... don't go." She slid to the edge of the bed and walked to him, crossed her arms over her chest and her loose hair partially hid her face, "I just need to talk to you. I'm sorry about this... but, I couldn't find you and the station is too large to search."
"Oh... Well... it's okay. Sorry about not returning your messages. It's been a bit busy around here. All this work, and... yeah." Stephen scratched the back of his head.
She brushed her hair out of her face, blew out a breath, and stepped in and rested her head on his shoulder and placed her arms around him. "I'm not sorry that happened, just the circumstances that caused it."
"It's just been a little strange, you know? I mean, I wasn't expecting... not that we could do anything about it, but... " He sighed. "I'm just so sorry. I didn't want you to think I was taking advantage of you. I feel like such a bastard right now."
She lifted her head and looked into his eyes, arms still around his waist, and said, "You? You're still very married to Dana. I feel like I was the one taking advantage.
"Not at all. I mean... in some way I really wanted this."
All of a sudden the room was feeling overly warm. Nicole pulled back from Stephen. She took one of his hands in hers and smiled. "Want to go some where and talk?"
Stephen turned and walked out of his room but didn't release Nikki's hand. He gave a reassuring squeeze and in the light of the main room noted what she was wearing...
"Let's stay in. I can make something and we can sit and talk."
"I'm not very hungry." He said as he leaned his backside against the back of the couch.
She stepped in, still holding his hand, and said, "I'm going to make something and I'd like you to at least try it."
"Okay, sure. So you cook, huh?" He took a seat at the dining table and watched Nicole as she stood and thought about what to replicate for dinner.
"Computer, Ceasar salad for two, sourdough rolls with butter, and two cups of clam chowder." She waited until the meal was ready and set the table one in front of Stephen and one in front of the other empty place. "I just chose what came to mind... hope you don't mind?"
"Not at all. I like salad."
Nicole sat and together in silence they ate their meal. He stood, moved to the replicator, and said, "Bottle. Reisling. Wine and two glasses." He brought the bottle and glasses to the table and poured. "Where have you been?"
"I had a run out beyond New Canada... I got back at 2000hrs, changed, and came right here."
She took several sips of her wine and met his eyes. Suddenly she stood, "I'm sorry." She said as she headed for the door. "I've got to go."
He stood up and took her hand. "Wait. Why now?"
Her hair had fallen back into her face. She was tired, confused, and didn't want to cry in his presence. She tried to retreive her hand but he not only didn't release it he moved in and titled her face up. "I'm sorry, Stephen. I can't compete."
"Compete with what?" Stephen held her by the shoulders. "Please talk to me. Don't walk away like this."
She took a breath and tried to look anywhere but into his eyes. "With the memories of Dana. I know that sounds awful."
Stephen suddenly let her go. "I'm so sorry. I want to... but I guess you're right. I can't let her go."
"I don't want you to let her go... You wouldn't be the man I care about if you had the capacity to instantly forget and go on."
He turned and picked up both their glasses and handed one to her. He watched as she took a sip. She bit her lower lip, and brushed a tear away, and said. "I want to be here, be with you, ... but you're not ready." She brushed more tears away and took a hesitant sip of her wine.
Stephen sat down. "Thank you." He took a sip of his own wine.
"You want me to leave?" She looked down at him while he collected his thoughts, ran his fingers through his hair and he sighed.
"Not really. I just... I'm a little confused right now. I'm so sorry."
Nikki took her drink, grabbed the bottle of wine and took a seat next to him on the couch. She topped off his glass and then her own. She slouched down in the seat. He picked up his glass, slumped down, and found the remote and turned on the room's entertainment center to a nice light jazz channel. He also used the controls to dim the room lights. For some time the two of them sat listening and enjoying the wine. Finally Nikki reached over and took his hand in hers. She gave it a reassuring squeeze, and asked, "Why don't you tell me about her... maybe if you talked about her you'd feel better."
Stephen smiled. "Okay."