Jayme worked ten twelve hour shifts in sickbay followed by back-to-back classes for her corpsmen. She paced back and forth in the little cubical she called an office and noted the time and that Nathan was working and wouldn't be home...
She touched her combadge and said, "Captain Alcon to Lt. Kassia."
[This is Lt. Kassia. What's up, Jayme?] Kassia replied.
"Do you have an hour or so?"
[As a matter of fact I do]she replied.
"Can you pencil me in." Jayme said gritting her teeth, and with a sigh asked, "When?"
[Of course] Kassia said. [Want to be in my office in 15 minutes?]
"I'll be there." Jayme broke communications and forced herself to stop pacing and take some slow deep breathes. She locked up her office and started walking off base and up to medical. She paused outside the door to Kassia's reception area and took a few more relaxed breathes... She entered and rang Kassia's buzzer.
"Enter," Kassia called out as she'd just finished up a report on her desk and looked up at Jayme. She immediately picked up the stress in her friend's movements and eyes, without using her empathic abilities. Those only confirmed it. "Why don't you take seat and tell me what's on your mind," she said, smiling softly.
Jayme met Kassia's green eyes, crossed her arms over her chest and leaned on the arm of the couch...they were friends, why was it sodifficult for her to relax, and talk with her... "I'm just tired, and wasting both of our time."
"No you're not," Kassia replied gently. "You spoke very clearly and with intent when you asked for this appointment. There's something you'd like to talk about . . . I have the time . . ." Gazed at Jayme presenting her calm to help her friend talk.
Jayme looked away and reached up and scrubbed her face with her hands, before walking around and taking the offered seat on the couch. "I'm having nightmares, I'm anxious, not sleeping, my concentration isn't worth shit... but the good news is that Nathan proposed to me. "
She saw Kassia's eye brows go up, and she said, "he proposed two weeks ago. But I've been having these symptoms for about 3 weeks, thought it was just residual from the concussion and finally working out the problem from the Europa incident."
"Have you seen any changes in the symptoms in the last two weeks?" Kassia asked curiously. "Why didn't you call before now."
"No." Jayme said with a shrug, then added, "I expected to have some residual issues."
"Are the nightmares about Europa or what's happened to you here lately? Or are the feelings you come away with similar?" she asked.
"Hmmmm," Jayme said and then added, "ninety percent are of the Europa, the rest just about mundane things."
Kassia nodded. Jayme was probably working out the excess baggage through her nightmares on a subconscious level . . . But the mundane things she was curious about. "What are the mundane things you dream about?" she asked.
"Mostly work...Kassia. Things are getting heavy as we gear up for the possible Mullerian conflict." Jayme closed her eyes and rested herhead back massaging her right temple.
Kassia understood. She was seeing more people now for stress relating to this conflict. It brought some memories of past conflicts and other still, it brought out fear. Fear for their lives, for the station . . . And the stress was felt through Starfleet officers, Marines and civilians. "I understand the tension level is rising," Kassia replied. "I'm treating many cases already for just that . . . But there is something else going on in your mind, almost daring me to come in after it," she smirked. "Are you happy with Nathan's proposal?" she asked, scrutinizing her friend carefully, though not appearing to do so. She knew, even happy stress could cause the bad kind.
"I am happy, and excited about Nathan's proposal. We haven't started planning anything yet. He mentioned that he'd like it to be right way, which is fine."
"He's moved into my place and we are getting through that adjustment period...and yeah, that is causing some stress but nothing I didn't think I could handle."
Jayme saw her friend smiling, and added, "the last good night sleep that I remember was after the concussion and they had me heavily mediated. I'd take something but I promised Nate that I wouldn't self medicate, and I don't want to worry him, but I think he suspects I'm not sleeping."
"So as joyful as this all is, it's adding its share of stress," Kassia nodded, knowing that it had probably happened that way. "It sounds to me that sleeping is very much a problem for you at the moment. I'm going to send over a recommendation for Dr. Cherrin to prescribe something to help you sleep . . . and don't worry. I'm also making the recommendation on which drug I think would be most appropriate. That way, he won't ask you too many probing questions. Kassia wrote out the instructions for Dr. Cherrin on a PADD. "H e should accept my requisition without problems. But you have to remember to take the medication." She smiled as she handed the PADD over.
"How come this sounds like more then a one time order?" Jayme asked taking the PADD.
"It is," Kassia replied. "For the next 14 days, I want you to take a sleep aid. After that, we'll move you to something less pharmaceutical in nature . ." Kassia replied. "But I think the first thing that will help lower your stress is adequate sleep. From there, relaxation techniques . . . like we've done before . . . and talking, of course," Kassia smiled.
"Thanks, but no Thanks. I'm not going to take this fourteen nights in a row. Once or twice...maybe." Jayme watched while Kassia stood and went to the replicator, and ordered, "Raspberry high protein shake"...and then she said something in Tanzaran and the shake arrived.
Kassia handed Jayme the shake, "here, it looks like you're dropping weight again. I want you to drink this and relax, and I'll be right back." Kassia stepped out into the main waiting room and sat in a chair for a few minutes, to give her friend a few minutes to think.
Kassia shook her head. Sometimes Jayme could be impossible. But she would give her a moment to think about it . . . and let the mild herbal sedative take affect. It would at least calm her down and give her the ability to think beyond her emotional response, Kassia thought. Trevarian root had been used for millennia on Tanzania she had read. Katianna had confirmed it to her once in a conversation about different drugs Tanzarans could and couldn't take and what had been used on her homeworld.
Finally, having given Jayme enough time to finish, she re-entered the room and smiled at her friend pleasantly as she noticed the drink finished.
"Jayme, you need to rest. This is not anything strong that's going to mess you up," Kassia assured her. This will help you get to sleep and stay asleep and since it has a calming side affect to the brain, you might be able to sleep with the nightmares," Kassia explained. "Take this," she said, "For me . . as your counselor and your friend . . . I can even monitor you if you'd like me too.
"I'm sorry Kassia." Jayme said as Kassia took a seat across from her. "I'm just really tired and little things are getting to me, you know how it goes, and exercise isn't working as a release."
Kassia nodded. "Exercise doesn't always work . . . Sometimes you need sleep," she replied. "And a good listening ear, which is where I come in." She smiled grew slightly. Jayme sat forward and said, "and that helps to have someone to listen, but...there is so much noise in my head and thoughts are moving too fast that I don't know what it is that has me this way...you know?" Kassia was silent for the moment. "What is the top thing on your mind right this moment?" she asked, figuring that starting at the top could lead to the rest.
"One of the night mares centers around me in medical school, me marrying Nathan, and me turning in to my mother... But it also shows me the role of being a marine... and history repeating itself and being trapped in a bad commitment."
Kassia nodded. "It's the example your mother gave you . . . I can see why you're having nightmares about this . . . You are scared of turning into your mother in some respects . . . But are you anything like her?" Kassia asked, already knowing the answer, but wanting Jayme to say it.
Jayme blew out a breath and rubbed her hands over her arms, and said, "No. I'm more like my father."
"And what about Nathan? Is he like your mother?" she asked.
With a short laugh Jayme shook her head, and said, "no."
"Then how can your mother happen in your marriage, when neither of you are like her?" Kassia asked. "Is it possible for that to happen?"
"I don't know," Jayme looked back down at the PADD on the table and shrugged, "I don't know. Stress?"
"Stress can be a problem in any relationship, unless you both know how to work it together," Kassia replied. "But somehow that doesn't sound like your mother. I would be willing to bet you and Nathan would be willing to work through any stressful situations together . . ." Kassia replied with a tender smile.
"I do offer premarital counseling if you think that's something you might want to consider with Nathan . . ."
"I'll talk to Nathan." She said meeting Kassia's eyes. "Thanks for the protein shake, I need to be going."
"All right," she replied. "And take the prescription . . . If nothing else it'll help you sleep . . . enough to catch up a little from what you've been missing . . ." She knew how much sleep Jayme had missed and was concerned.
Jayme shook her head. "I understand what you're saying , Kassia. And I know I came to you for your help, but I'm not going to take this prescription." Jayme stood and stepped around the couch but paused and looked back over at Kassia with her arms crossed over her chest. "Sorry, for taking up your time.
"Jayme, are you still running from your past memories of what happened?" she asked. "I know you remember them and think that's the end of the story. . . but you are still refusing a prescription to help you . . . and all I want to do is help you. You know that," she said softly.
Leaning against the wall, "I understand that remembering isn't the end of the story...as you put it!" Jayme looked everywhere but at her friend, "I just refuse to take anything...this isn't the first medication I've refused, call Nate he'll tell you. Why do you think I didn't call him, "he'd have been more then happy to tranq my ass." Jayme took a breath and held it for a few seconds and slowly blew it out. "But I don't want even that one time dose of something. I know that sounds ridiculous as I'm a medical student and will graduate this year."
"I'm just concerned about your sleeping . . . The less sleep you get, the more symptoms you're going to have," Kassia replied and then thought for a moment. "I do have another alternative. In fact, it's a device that's been used on many Starship Captains to help them sleep," she said as she walked over to the replicator and placed in her order. Instantly a silver, curved device appeared. She held it up. "Here is the solution for those that don't want the medication route. This device, once activated and placed on the forehead will make you drift into sleep and keep you there for as long as it's set to do so . . . It's worth trying, since you're so against the medication."
"Nathan's tried that, Kassia, and doesn't want me using it since I had that last concussion...we tried it the other night and I had what he called a seizure."
Kassia sighed. She's have to look at Jayme's medical record and make sure she had the updated one in her files. "There has to be some happy medium . . You're not happy now are you?" she asked.
"No." Jayme rolled her head on her shoulders and looked at the ground. "Nathan's on duty. I'll accept a one time tranq order and take a day of sick leave."
"I'll accept that . . . for the moment," Kassia replied, rewriting the order. Make sure you relax tomorrow. Take the time to distress . . . Do something that makes you happy," Kassia replied with a smile as she handed the PADD back to Jayme.
Jayme looked over at the PADD, not looking at the order. "Do me a favor, and call this in to Nathan, he's on not Cherrin. "I'll try and spend tomorrow doing nothing." With that Jayme turned and walked out on Kassia. In the hall Jayme brushed a few tears away and walked slowlyto the main doors of sickbay.
Kassia's brow furrowed as she felt Jayme's emotions. There was more . . . but she'd have to wait to find out. She suspected that she was more worried about this upcoming commitment than she was trying to let on . . . She tapped her commbadge. "Lt. Kassia to Dr. Fletcher," she said.
[Fletcher, here.] He said looking up from his charting.
"I'm sending over a prescription for you to okay," she said. "It's for Jayme."
[Why didn't you send it with her.]he asked putting the PADD away. [And youdon't need anything co-signed by me.]
"I always check my prescriptions with the other doctors on, so that way they can make sure it won't interfere with anything else being given . . . In your case, also, I thought you'd like to know. That and the fact that she's taking the day off tomorrow."
"Understood. Does this have something to do with her not sleeping?" He asked walking over and waiting for the order to be transferred to him. "She's taking the day off...don't hold your breath, counselor."
Kassia smirked to herself. She knew Jayme would find something to do. "As long as she doesn't do anything that's going to add to her stress level, she can do it . . . But I don't want her working. I'm talking about fun things she can do . . . But yes, the prescription is for her sleeping," Kassia confirmed.
Nathan saw the order on the screen, and said, [I see two orders here counselor, one for fourteen days and then the tranq.] He paused, and added, [you'll never get her to take that 14 day script.]
"Well, hope blooms eternal, Nathan," she replied with a small sigh. "The fact of the matter is her symptoms will get worse if she does not get the sleep she needs. Right now, her mind is sorting through a lot of things and causing her a lot of unrest when she's suppose to be getting to deep sleeping in . . . You can see the problem, right?" Kassia asked.
[Yes, I understand the problem.] He had a thought and said, [I'll talk with Dr. Cherrin and Barnes and see if we can't do something about my schedule for the next 14 days so I can be off when she is...scheduled off. Permission to repeat this tranq order as necessary?] He asked.
"Yes," Kassia replied. "I want her to get enough sleep every night to make a difference. She might not be happy with me at first, but she'll know I'm doing it for her best interests . . ."
[Did you say she was on her way over?]
"She should be there any moment," Kassia replied.
[She's not.] He sat watching the main entrance with the meds pulled from the medication station. [what are the odds are she's down getting ready to teach her kickboxing class?]
Kassia smiled. "That's probably where she is," she replied. "Care to join her for it? I think I will . . ."
[Yeah, I'm off here in about fifteen. Do you have any pull with the head of security so we can get a pair of restraints? That's a joke Kassia, although I'm seriously considering it.]
Kassia laughed. "I don't think you'll need them," she replied. "But if you do, let me know. I'm sure Tara would be agreeable to help." She laughed again.
[Alright, see you there.] He touched his combadge and stood and gave a quick report to Dr. Barnes as he took over the watch. He left and ran to their quarters, changed and headed to the gym.
Kassia quickly went home and changed for the class. She also left a message with Tarik to pick up Tiyanna. She made a quick stop by her shop to see Tiyanna and let her know Tarik was picking her up. Very quickly, after a hug and a kiss, she made her way to the gym and to the kick boxing class.
Jayme was on the floor meditating and knew exactly when Nathan and Kassia arrived. She opened her eyes and looked at both. "Sorry, Kassia just couldn't follow though."
"Nathan," She said standing and flowing into his embrace, "Don't be mad...I'm just busy and tired."
"I'm worried, not mad, Jayme...you and Kassia had agreed on a plan of care and you backed out...this could end up on your records and cost you a 72 hour hold for self destructive behavior."
"I know." Jayme turned in his embraced and faced Kassia, "Sorry, I know you're trying to help."
"I know . . . old habits die hard," Kassia replied. "Just know we're trying to get you back to your peak condition," she said with a smile, her green eyes sparkling.
Jayme looked around and finally at Kassia. "Yeah, they do ...don't they. You aren't going to confine me for 72 hrs, that was just Nate being dramatic...right?" She looked up at him and then back at Kassia.
Kassia paused for a moment and then smiled. "Take the medication, get some sleep, take the day off tomorrow and do something you enjoy . . . Then we'll talk about it." With that she winked.
"Damn, you Nathan." She elbowed him in the ribs as she escaped his grasp. She stood away from him and knew Kassia wouldn't do that...but Nathan would and could still put her on a medical hold which wasn't as damning a psych hold... Others started arriving for class.
Jayme moved away from them an pulled on her knee brace and boom mike. The hour seemed to creep by and she lost her place several times in the routine and at one point just called out the moves as she wandered though the crowd...
Kassia came up to her. "How are you holding up?" she asked.
"Fine." Jayme whispered, and winked at Nathan. She had ten minutes left of the class. She continued to direct while walking through the room, correcting this stance and that punch. "Thank you everyone," she said, "See you to tomorrow." She said grabbing a towel and herwater bottle. After a few sips she handed the bottle to Nathan as he walked over. She put the headset and system to rest. She walked back over and kissed him and said, "you looked good." She saw Kassia smile and join them.
"And you both look good together," she smiled. "How's the knee doing?" she asked.
With a sigh, and a look down at her knee she admitted, "It's swelling and aches." Jayme frowned at Kassia.
"Time to rest it a bit," she replied. "You also look pretty tired . . . Have you given anymore thought about my prescription?" She knew it was a long shot, but she wanted Jayme to take it seriously.
"I've already volunteered to take tomorrow off!" Jayme said glaring at Kassia, "and I assume, Nathan's prepared to medicate me against my wishes, what more do you want?"
Jayme looked at Nathan and back to Kassia, "oh, yeah you want me on that other med...NO." Jayme said walking out of the gym.
~It's time to give your body and mind a chance to rest . . .~ she projected to her friend, then sighed as she looked at Nathan and shrugged.
Nathan took a sip out of the bottle. "Any chance we can slip her something in a drink?" He asked, as they walked out of the gym towards his and Jayme's quarters.
"I did that earlier, only it was only a calming herb . . . It did sooth her for awhile though," she said. "I can see if I can find an herbal remedy that will help that can easily be put into something she can drink. It's a bit underhanded, but at least she'll sleep at night . . . I'm worried about her . . If she doesn't allow herself to rest, she won't heal - not her body or her mind."
"Oh, she'll sleep tonight!" He said as they walked. "I'll need your help and how's your bluff?" They slowly walked and rode the lift, "I'm giving her time to shower and cool down. She's going to take the tranq or be on a three day hold...that's where you come in. I'll hold her and you can administer the tranq, can you do that?"
Kassia sighed and nodded her head. She'd done this before, but it was different when it was a friend. "I can do it . . . Eventually she'll see it was in her best interests."
"I can call Scott or the marines...you don't have to compromise your friendship." He said, as he'd heard the hesitation in her voice.
"It's my job, Nathan . . . It's something she and I are going to have to accept. I'm her friend and her counselor . .. I have to do what I think is best for her, even if she gets ticked off with me . . ." Kassia was resigned to the fact that sooner or later a situation like this would come up . . . and it would come up with Jayme.
Nathan nodded. They entered their quarters and found a freshly showered Jayme sitting on the couch.
"Sorry, I'm being a bitch." She said crying. She looked away and wiped at the tears. She saw Kassia move over to the replicator and order a chocolate high protein shake and it caused her to laugh...seemed Kassia was always trying to feed her. She took the frosty glass and took a sip.
Nathan tried to hand Jayme one of the capsules Kassia had ordered only to have Jayme shake her head, no.
"Jayme," Kassia said from the other chair, "Not taking it will extend how long you are on the medication by a night every time...please take it."
Jayme reached out and took it with the last swallow of the shake. "Want to check?"
"No. I trust you." She said making eye contact with Nathan. "Now, Nathan has a tranq."
"I took what you wanted?" Jayme whined.
"You still need to sleep, Jayme," she replied calmly. "Once you start you'll notice the difference as you body heals . . . And you won't feel so stressed and you'll be able to think even more clearly that you already do . . ." She smiled trying to be calming and reassuring as to the outcome.
Jayme ran her fingers though her hair, and shook her head. "No."
Nathan saw Jayme move to get up and stepped in, "Kassia, can you contact Dr. Cherrin for the 3 day hold."
Jayme sat back down and cried out, "you can't do that."
"Actually . . . We can . . ." Kassia replied reluctantly, but knowing she had to. "If you won't take care of yourself, then we'll do it for you, for at least three days. And depending on which one of us admits you for the three day hold will depend on what treatment you get . . . If it's medical, then you just get the medications. If its for mental . . . Well . . . then you get the medication and therapy and a lot of therapy for three days."
Jayme saw that both were very serious. She wiped her face with her hand, and said, "I'll take the tranq, the day off, and your meds...and I'll meet with you Kassia on any schedule you set...just don't pull me off duty." She looked at Kassia, and said, "Please."
Kassia nodded. "All right," she replied. "I want you to contact me tomorrow and we'll set up a schedule . . . and it wouldn't hurt for Nathan to be a part of a few sessions," she said as she glanced at him for a moment and then back to Jayme, thinking of the issues the two of themneeded to discuss. Anything to take pressure off of Jayme . . .
Nathan nodded, "I don't have a problem with that, Kassia." He had the tranq syringe in his hand and sat down beside Jayme, as she moved her hair out of the way. After the injection he wrapped his arms around her, "you''re still not off the hook medically. In the morning, you have a physical scheduled...with Scott. You don't pass and its a medical hold for three days...retested and if you don't pass it's another 3 days..."
Jayme and Kassia both looked at him in surprise. "Ok, whatever. Jayme said standing.
Nathan looked at Kassia, "be right back." He walked Jayme into the bedroom. He returned a moment later to sit on the couch oppositeKassia.
"That was a bit of a surprise," she replied. "Not that I don't understand . . believe me, I do . . ."
"Tarik contacted Scott, he's concerned, and then she basically failed one of her class exams for a class she's ace'ing..." He looked toward the bedroom, "I was going to tell her after class tonight but all of this happened. Thanks for your help."
Kassia nodded and smiled, though it was bittersweet. "All I want is her healthy again, in mind, body and spirit . . . If this is what it takes, so be it . . ."
She thought of Katianna and wished she could do more, but she also knew there was no way she could put Katianna in sickbay that long. Kalimar and the Kosst Amojen were too big a threat . . . and there was the prophesy about Katianna . . . But she was another friend she was desperate to help . . Maybe after things settled down she could help her. If things worked out.
She was lost in her own thoughts before realizing Nathan had said something else to her. She looked at him. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"Me, too..." He stood and headed to the replicator, and ordered, "Caesar salad with chicken for two, sourdough bread, and two ice teas." He picked up the bowls and the drinks and walked back to the couch. "I said "Me too. Have some dinner with me. What were you so serious about a moment ago?"
"I was merely thinking of another friend that needs help . . . Only at the moment my hands are tied," Kassia replied, without naming names or getting into details. But Nathan was smart. He might know who she was talking about simply by that information alone. She accepted dinner with a smile and immediately took a sip of the tea and then a bite of the salad.
"Ah," he said. "We can work on that one next...I think she's made everyone 'A' list.
As for Jayme, Scott--will let her do her time in quarters instead of sickbay if she fails." He took another bite. After some though, "I'm scared Kassia. She's pushing so hard to please everyone... I'm afraid she's going to change her mind about marrying me...I'm afraid of her going out on the front lines." He put his bowl down and sat back with his hands in his lap. "I know Tarik won't put her out there if she's like this...but even healthy the thought scares me of her being out there."
"I understand more than you know," Kassia smiled softly and placed a hand on his. "As you know, Tarik and I are together . . . Engaged . . . We met when I was simply a shop keeper, but we bonded. I always worried about him in the field . . . but I also knew I had to let him be who he was. Sometimes, as much as it scares us, we have to step back . . . and wait . . . She's a marine. She has a dangerous job . . . Being worried is all part of being with a marine," she replied. "Just have faith that what's meant to be will be . . ."
"I've talked to Marcus on occasion and he warned me it wasn't going to be easy..." He took a sip of the ice tea. "I fell in love with... am I wrong for being this protective, Kassia?" He set his drink down and pointed toward the bedroom, and added, "When, she's on station and basically self destructing."
Kassia shook her head. "No, right now she's in crisis. She needed intervention . . . But later, when she's healed, you'll have to work on letting her go enough to do her job . . . That's all I'm saying. She loves you very much," Kassia replied. She knew that without Jayme having to tell her anything.
They ate together in silence for awhile. Finally, he stood and cleared the dishes away while she watched. "I know you're right, Kassia. I hope that man of your's realizes what a gem he has in you." He leaned against the wall, and admitted, "I'm probably about as tired as Jayme is... Her appointment is for 1100 hrs and I figure Scott will have made his decision by noon. Do you have a 1300 hour appointment?"
She thought for a moment. "No, I don't have anything scheduled until later in the day. So I'm free if you need me there."
"Could we arrange for you to see her here?" He asked, thinking it might be easier for Jayme to talk in their home.
"I'm definitely available for house calls," she smiled.
"Thanks." She stood and touched his elbow. He sighed, "Maybe you should talk to Scott in the morning before we show up. I know it looks like I'm setting her up for him to fail her on principle...but this refusal of medication worries me badly."
"It's an old habit . . . One that's going to require time to break," she replied. "Tarik's not a great patient either. But I will . . . I'll let Cherrin know what's going on and see what he thinks."
She suddenly got an image of Jayme and Nathan getting married and smiled. "And I don't think she's going to back out of marrying you . . ." With that she winked at him.
With a laugh he squeezed her shoulder and said, "Go home and hug Tarik. I'm going to shower and check on Jayme...and get some sleep myself. See you tomorrow."
She stepped out of the apartment and walked past Tarik's office and knew that he wasn't there. She slowly walked home.
Nathan walked into the bedroom and noticed that the lamp was still on Jayme's side of the bed...and that she was sprawled face down, and out. After a long shower he forced himself not to scan her but to let Dr. Cherrin be her doctor...not him unless it's an emergency or per request of another professional like Kassia. He turned out the light and sat on the edge of the bed and thought about what Kassia had said.