Katianna awoke in sickbay with Paul beside her. She could feel that her mind was clear. Whatever fog that had permeated it was gone, but the memories remained as clear as crystal. She reached for her neck. It was only a little sore now, but a reminder of what had happened. She couldn't bring herself to look at Paul, though he held her hand so tenderly. A small sob escaped her.
Immediately Paul was up from his seat. He tenderly pulled her into his arms and caressed her hair. "Eets over, ma cherie . . ." he said softly. "You are safe. He can't hurt you anymore . . ."
"That's not it," she said softly. As tears cascaded from her green eyes. She felt like a small child. "Paul, he should have killed me . . ."
"Don't talk like zhat!" he told her fiercely.
"No . . . You don't understand," she replied. "He's a demon . . . Evil . . . It's his job to kill me . . . But he let me live . . ." She turned her green eyes to him. "Why did he let me live?"
He'd never seen anyone so troubled by the fact that they were alive. All he could think to do was hold her. "Jest be zhankful zhat you are alive . . Zhat your daughter and sone still 'ave zheir mother."
"I am, it's just . . ." she couldn't finish her words for a moment. Tenderly he wiped at the tears on her cheek. "You don't know, Paul . . . You don't know what happened . . . What I did . . ."
"Shhhhhh . . ." he said as he gently ran a hand through her auburn tresses. "Eet doesn't matter now . . . What's done eez done . . . Eet's in zhe past . ."
"But I let him . . . I wanted him to . . ."she started crying before she could finished the words.
"Eet was zee virus, Katianna . . ." he tried to sooth her.
"But it makes you go after the one you love . . . That's what I've heard . . Why Kalimar?" she asked, tears in her eyes.
"Perhaps 'e manipulated you," Paul replied, but not believing it himself.
She shook her head. "No . . . It's not how it happened . . . I just don't understand . . . How could I . . . with Kalimar! And why didn't he kill me . .?"
"Katianna, look at me," he said, as he gently caressed her face. Their eyes met. "Eet doesn't matter . . . Not eeven to me," he said. "I am jest very 'appy to have you here safe . . ."
An image of how he had found her permeated his mind and floated to her own. My god . . . did I look like that? She wondered.
He nodded, quietly.
"I just want to understand . . . that's all . . . Since when do demons not finish their work?" she asked.
He sighed. "Katianna . . . please . . . Zhis is a new day . . . Don't worry about Kalimar or demons now . . . Or what's happened or why . . . Just zhink of zhe future!"
"How can I?" she asked as a tear fell from her green eyes. She felt so weak . . so confused.
"Ah don't know," he replied honestly. "But perhaps, you could allow for other possibilities in life once again, eh?" With that, he leaned down and kissed her tenderly.
She responded, but as he drew away, she was shaking. "I can't go down that path with you, Paul . . .I can't . . . I'll hurt you, or drive you away . . Or something will happen and you'll end up dead . . . I can't . . ."
"I'm willing to take zhat chance," he replied as he tenderly caressed her cheek.
"I can't . . ." she said softly as another tear fell from her eyes, and a sob escape from her lips..
Rather than be angry, he pulled her closer to him. Even if she wouldn't accept more than friendship from him, he would give her what she was willing to take . . . though his heart ached for her. The only woman he had ever truly loved . . . As Len came over to sedate her once again, she drifted into a quiet sleep. Paul traced the faint marks on her neck that still remained and cursed Kalimar for having hurt Katianna so badly . . .He continued to stay by her side, unwilling to leave her.