She was being pushed back into a chair again. She was being strapped down and couldn't move. She tried to struggle but it was to no avail. Her assailant was the large, angry Son'a Commander. He wasn't done with her! She panicked. She could feel it rising in her soul.
"What are you doing here, Starfleet!" he yelled, his dark eyes menacing.
"Scientific Research," she replied, her heart beating frantically. She could see him coming toward her, his fist raised . . . It was coming at her!
Suddenly, her eyes flew up. She was drenched in a cold sweat. Her breath was ragged with fear. As she looked around, she saw she was in sickbay aboard the USS Arizona-A.
"Welcome back, Kassia," smiled a young, female medical assistant.
As her heartbeat started slowing, she took a deep breath. "How's Lt. Deveraux?" she asked.
"He'll be fine . . . But he needs rest, like you," she smiled.
Kassia started shaking a bit. "I feel a little cold," she said.
The assistant retrieved a blanket and covered her. Then she tapped her commbadge. "Lt. Brechin to Captain Wallace and Major Tarik, Kassia's awake."
Tarik arrived in Sickbay to see Kassia and Paul still on diagnostic beds. Kassia was awake, and more or less alert, but Paul was still unconscious.
"How is she?"
"She's had a concussion and a fractured cheekbone, but nothing we couldn't handle. Most of the trauma seems to have been to her head although there were two broken ribs. Again, we've got the situation under control. She'll need rest, more than anything else," Brechin replied.
"Thank you, Lieutenant. If I could have a few moments alone with her?"
The medical officer nodded and went to tend Paul.
"How are you feeling, Kassia?" Tarik asked, taking her hand.
"I'm cold," she replied with a mild shudder. "And my body aches . . ."
"That's understandable; you're just coming out of shock," Tarik explained. "You've been through a lot! Not every new ensign can claim to have been captured and interrogated during her first day on duty!"
Kassia laughed softly despite herself and the mild pain. "Yeah, I guess that is something, isn't it? Aren't I special!" Though the face of the Son'a Commander appeared in her mind as she closed her eyes. Involuntarily her body shook.
"What's wrong?" Tarik asked. He knew, though, having been through this himself once before.
"Nothing . . . It's nothing . . ." she replied. She didn't want to worry him, and it wasn't anything she couldn't handle she thought . . . But having never been through anything like that before she wasn't sure . . . This was new . . . All she knew was that she wanted to be strong . . .
"You don't need to hold this in, dear. At some point you'll need to talk about it. Trust me--I've been through this too," Tarik said softly.
As her green eyes met his, everything was spoken in them. All her conflicting emotions . . . her pain . . . "I just want to do what's best . . . This is just so fresh in my mind . . . " she tried to explain.
And what would be best in her case? Tarik thought. "I know," he said simply. "You're going to have some trouble with this for a while. You'll have nightmares and you'll run between being angry and wanting to curl up in a ball and hide. But you can't do that--otherwise you let them win. I'm here if you need me."
"So this is normal? To close one's eyes and see your perpetrator . . . to wake up from nightmares in a cold sweat with your heart racing . . . because you dreamed you were going to be beaten again?" she sighed. "I can't let it win . . . I made it through that interrogation. I have to make it through this . . ." She said simply. They wouldn't win. Not if she had anything to say about it.
"Yes, it's quite normal, and nothing to be ashamed of. I was captured once, too, by the Cardassians. I was only a second lieutenant--basically the same rank as you, and without much more experience--but that didn't stop them from beating me within an inch of my life and starving me during the time I was a prisoner. They held me for three months, but they never got my mind. I wouldn't let them! And you mustn't let them, either. The nightmares are going to be with you for a while, but it's over now! The bastard who did this to you won't be doing much of anything from now on," Tarik said as he cracked a grin.
Tears misted her eyes, but she forced them away. "I know he's dead . . . Just he's not dead in my mind yet . . . But he will be . . ." she said with determination, her eyes turning to hard jade. "I want to be a good officer. . ." she explained. "I made up my mind, during that interrogation that that was it . . . That if I could handle that, I could handle being an officer . . . But I am . . . scared . . ." she said hesitantly, feeling weak. "I just woke up from a nightmare . . . And I was scared! More scared than when it was happening . . ." She was filled with confusion.
Tarik held her hand more tightly. "Honey, you have, in the past day shown yourself to be more of an officer than many Starfleet officers manage in their entire careers! You've nothing to be ashamed of! The dreams will be like that for a while. Just remember that they are dreams, nothing more. Don't be surprised if other traumatic events you've experienced start attaching themselves to these dreams. Your mind's been through a lot, and it's going to take it a while to process everything. But something's telling me that you're going to pull through this!" he said with a smile.
She smiled back softly, though there was no joy in it. Gently, she touched her face where she had been beaten, running her fingers over her lips and cheeks. "All the outside damage is fixed . . ." she said.
"That's always the easiest to repair. And together we'll get you through the inside damage. I'm with you all the way!"
"What about Paul?" she asked. "The Lieutenant, there, said he was going to be okay . . . Is he? He was hurt far worse than I was . . ." Even now, she was more concerned for her friends than herself.
"He'll be fine. He's going to need some support too. He's still recovering from the Proktolan campaign, for that matter. That's one I'm glad I missed!" Tarik said. "If anyone can make it through this, though, Paul can. And you can too!"
Captain Wallace entered Sickbay, disturbing their conversation. "I understand Kassia's awake," he said.
"Yes, sir. She's still pretty shaken up, though," Tarik said.
"I can understand that. She's been through a lot . . . Too much," Wallace replied. "Kassia, we're all here for you; every one of us has been through something like this at some point. If you handle it right, it can make you stronger."
"I plan on that, Captain," she said. "I will make it through this . . ."
"That's good. I need to ask you a few routine questions, though," Wallace said.
"Sir, are you sure this is the right time and place?" Tarik asked, concerned for Kassia. Regulations be damned--this can wait! Anything you need you can get from our prisoner!
"Don't worry, Major; this won't be too onerous on her," he answered, seemingly reading Tarik's thoughts. "Tell me all you can, Kassia, about what happened."
Kassia told him everything--the landing, the capture, what the Son'a commander had asked of her and what she'd said in reply.
"And that's all I can remember, Sir . . . " she said. "I blacked out after that point . . ." She suppressed a shudder while visions of the beating played through her mind as she spoke of the abduction.
"The individual we captured was the second-in-command for the Son'a outpost," Tarik added. "I'm sure he'll prove very useful."
"Kassia, you did just fine," Wallace assured her as Tarik ran his hand along her arm gently. "I will need to speak with you privately, though, Major."
With that, Tarik got up and left with Wallace. They stopped in the corridor, just down from Sickbay. "It's my considered opinion that none of this would have happened had Lieutenant Deveraux not gone on his unauthorized science expedition. Under the circumstances Kassia did quite well; she's not to be faulted at all. But Paul's going to have to answer for what's happened here."
"Sir, I'm not sure anyone could have detected the Son'a in that clearing," Tarik said, lying through his teeth. "The Son'a were using a dampening field in the area to suppress tricorder readings. We think we might have picked up some false readings on the way in, for that matter. I'm sure that if Lieutenant Deveraux had detected Son'a on the surface they would have returned immediately."
Wallace frowned. "You're probably right," he said. "But even so, the mission was unauthorized. Paul will be punished, and I'll leave it to you to explain what happened to Kassia. And, while you're at it, train that woman in landing party procedures and how to protect herself! Nobody should have to go through what she's been through!"
"You can count on it, sir!"
As Tarik entered Sickbay once more, he saw Kassia curled up under the blanket. She made no sound, but as he drew near her, she could see tears falling on her cheeks. As she saw him, she went to wipe them away.
He put his arm around her. "Ms. Brechin, is there something you can give her to help her through this?" Tarik asked.
Brechin checked the medical supply cabinet and retrieved a hypospray. "This is altobutazol, an antidepressant. This will help her get back on her feet but I can't use it on her more than once every 72 hours. You're going to have to keep an eye on her," she said as she administered the injection.
As Kassia's eyes met Tarik's again, she said with worry. "Paul's in trouble, isn't he?"
"Paul's fine!" Tarik said. "In fact, he's just now waking up!"
Paul looked up groggily. "Merde!!!! Wot ze 'ell happened to me?"
Tarik left Kassia for a moment and walked over to Paul's bed. "You and the Son'a had a minor disagreement," he said.
"Oh, Tarik! I did not tink I would be zo 'appy to see your ugly face again!"
"I think you lost this," Tarik said, producing the claw necklace from his pocket and handing it to Paul.
"Ah! Merci beaucop, mon ami! For finding zis trinket, and for finding me and Kassia! I was hoping zhis would work!"
"It probably saved all of us," Tarik answered. "As soon as we found this we went in shooting."
"Always ze 'ard-assed Marine, eh?" Paul grinned.
"You know it! And you owe me more than you think," Tarik said. "We'll talk about that later," he finished, not wanting to give Paul the added aggravation of wondering what Captain Wallace would do to him. "Get some rest."
"Zhat," Paul said, "will be not so hard to do..." He drifted to sleep.
Tarik returned to Kassia. "See? He's going to be okay. Sometimes you just have to laugh your way through it. As much as Paul's seen, he's an expert on the subject now."
She was still concerned. "That's not what I meant," she said. "I meant with Captain Wallace . . ." she said quietly. "He's in trouble with Captain Wallace," she said in almost a whisper. She did not want Paul to hear.
"Don't worry; I've covered his ass. Probably more than I should have, but that's what friends are for," Tarik answered. "He'll likely get something out of this affair, but it won't be much, comparatively speaking."
She nodded in understanding, though she still wasn't very happy. Again, she started shivering and pulled the covers tighter around her. "Just tell me one thing . . . Will I ever be warm again?" she asked, annoyed with the cold coursing through her body.
"Sure you will," Tarik said. "Even if I have to take you to Vulcan to get you warm I'll make sure you get there," he continued, knowing the chill she was feeling was only partly due to shock.
"Good, I'd hate to think I was be this cold for the rest of my life . . ." She was tired, but couldn't sleep. She didn't want to close her eyes and relive what she had just gone through yet again with another nightmare . . . Her eyes were growing heavy, but she wouldn't close them. She had to get a grip, she told herself. She needed rest, and nightmares were just dreams . . . But her eyes wouldn't close.
"Mainly what you're feeling is shock, honey," Tarik said. "It's not unusual for people who've had your level of physical trauma to feel cold. Your body's adapting and trying to heal. You'll be through this in a day or so. And when this is over with, I'll show you what we do after a battle to let things loose!" he said, smiling. Tarik was extremely concerned for Kassia but he wanted to make her feel better. "Just don't give up! If you need me for anything, just call--you'll know how!"
Suddenly, a soft sob escaped her. She couldn't keep her facade up any longer. She was too tired . . . "I can't shut my eyes . . ." she cried softly, trying to stop the emotions that were taking over. "When I do and I see him . . . "
"That's okay...let it all out..." he said, caressing her face tenderly.
"I'm tired . . . I'm so tired, I just want to sleep . . . But I can't . . . I keep seeing him coming at me . . ." She stopped as she took a deep breath, trying to steady herself and stop the tears, but now the floodgates were open and everything she had not allowed herself to feel while down on the B'aku world, was coming back with a vengeance. Maybe she wasn't as strong as she had thought . . . "He's there when I close my eyes . . . he's there in my sleep . . . He's there in the back of my mind even now . . . How am I going to be of help to anyone like this?"
"You've been where others will most likely be going...you can help them now that you've seen this firsthand. Everything happens for a reason, Kassia," Tarik said. He then hit on an idea. "Give me your pain, Kassia," he said as he gestured to his temple. "Whatever you can't handle, project to me!"
She shook her head. "I can't . . ." she replied, unwilling to put another person through what she was feeling. "I can't . . ." The tears wouldn't stop. The cold wouldn't stop. The pain and fear wouldn't stop.
"She's going to need to rest, sir," Brechin said as she administered a sedative. "At least a good, solid twelve hours. I'm going to put her down for a while; if anything happens I'll be sure to contact you immediately."
"You're probably right. Thanks, Ms. Brechin," Tarik said, making a mental note to inform Dr. Cherrin of her efficiency. Tarik stayed with Kassia until her tears ceased and she slipped into deep, dreamless sleep. He tenderly wipes away the tears still staining her cheeks. Gently, he kissed her forehead as he stood.
He stepped out of sickbay and tapped his commbadge. "Sergeant Tzil'ka--is the platoon ready to go out again?"
[Aye, sir. Private Edwards is back with us, too,] he said, referring to the man who'd been bitten earlier.
"Good. Load us up for bear--M-23's, grenades, the works! We're going to clean every last Son'a off the face of that planet posthaste!!!"