"Hey, Troy! We don't usually see the likes of you in here!" a female bartender yelled toward him as he entered through the swinging saloon doors to the Gunslinger, an Ancient Western-style saloon that had opened recently aboard the station. "What's the matter? Soma finally getting too dull for you?"
"Why would I want to go back to work on my night off?" Troy laughed. The bartender, a Bajoran woman in a very scanty outfit consisting of cutoff shorts, a halter top, and a cowboy hat laughed and waved him in.
Troy took a seat at the bar. Soon afterward, Tarik joined him.
"So, this is the place," Tarik said. "Very...rustic," he added as he surveyed the surroundings. The place was an exact replica of a frontier saloon, complete with a brass rail on the bar, mirrors behind the bar, a burlesque act on stage, and several poker games. Almost exact, that is--besides Tarik and Troy, the inhabitants of at least a dozen worlds occupied the saloon. In fact, the nonhumans outnumered humans by a margin of two to one.
"It's based on ancient Earth," Troy added. "Some place called 'Dodge City'."
"I like it!" Tarik replied, smiling a shark smile. "Do we start drinking now or wait for Paul?"
"Let's wait for Paul; he seems to feel left out of everything," Troy answered. The two men laughed as Paul entered.
"What ees zhis? Have you started ze party wizhout me?"
"The party's always going on! You just need to get here earlier!" Troy joked. "Bartender, two Coach Guns for my friends--I'll have a beer."
"Oh, no! First, you tell us what's in this 'Coach Gun,' and then you join us!" Tarik said.
"Oui, mon amis! I have been treeked too many times weeth zome strange drink!" Paul added.
"Oh, very well!" Troy said. "Equal parts Jack Daniels, tequilla, and single-malt Scotch. Make that three Coach Guns, bartender!"
"For you, babe, I'm Cylara," the bartender smiled back at Troy as she turned away to prepare the drinks.
"Troy, you had better get zome of zhat while eet's for free!" Paul said.
"Damn, Paul! Could you be a little less subtle?" Tarik told him. "He's right, you know. Don't let this pass you by--have some fun for once in your life! You've earned it!" he told Troy.
"Oh, I suppose..." Troy said tentatively.
"Suppose what? Remember what we talked about? Don't give up your rapidly-fleeting youth!" Tarik joked.
The bartender turned around with the drinks. Paul took his and downed it in one smooth motion and began choking.
"Zhat ees one mean drink!" Paul exclaimed.
Tarik took his slightly slower. "Hmmph. I've had worse," he said.
Troy drank his down and grimmaced. "Burns going down--but I like it!"
"Three more--my tab!" Tarik said.
Three more rounds passed, and the trio became increasingly more inebriated. "Hey, Rom! Wanna take me on? Nobody's done it yet!" a voice spoke out behind Tarik. Tarik turned around to find an Andorian even drunker than he was.
"Take you on at what?" Tarik asked warily.
"'Shootout!' I've heard about you--none of these other clowns can even come close to me even when they're sober!!! I figured you ought to put up a challenge!"
"I am not so sure zhis ees zuch a good idea!" Paul said. Troy also looked concerned.
"Not to worry!" Tarik said with a wink. "You've got yourself a challenge!" he told the Andorian.
Together they walked to a booth and strapped on sensory equipment. Tarik wasn't so drunk that he couldn't handle most games of skill. At his belt was a heavy weapon--a replica Colt .45 revolver. Compared to a hand phaser the weapon weighed at least a metric ton!
Tarik had two advantages over the Andorian, however: he was much stronger than most of the Andorian's likely previous opponents, and he'd trained with a similar weapon at the Academy. A crowd--including Troy, Paul, and the bartender--gathered outside the booth.
Tarik and the Andorian stood about twenty paces apart, dead still, each waiting for the other to give away a move.
A tone sounded. Tarik's gun was out of his holster almost immediately. The Andorian's gun never cleared his holster before Tarik was able to get off all six simulated shots into his opponent's chest, fanning the single-action revolver repeatedly for the desired effect. The crowd cheered!
He looked over at the astonished Andorian. "Hoo-rah!" he yelled! The crowd cheered again.
About this time Kassia showed up.
"No fair--you've got all that training!" the Andorian protested. "No way I could have taken on Starfleet and won!"
"Listen, pal, you're the one who went to him!" Troy replied. "It's nobody's fault but your own if you got your ass kicked!"
"Hey guys! What's going on?" Kassia asked. The others supressed grins as Tarik's eyes nearly popped out upon seeing her in a catsuit with a gold belt at the waist.
"Oh, nothing much--just dealing with a sore loser!" Troy answered, then told her about the Andorian's shootout with Tarik.
Kassia giggled. "And what was he expecting?"
The Andorian was visibly angry. "I can still take anyone in this bar! The Rom got lucky!"
Suddenly Tarik had an idea. "Luck, sir, had nothing to do with it. I have nine Expert Marksman awards with a hand phaser and twelve with a phaser rifle. I trained on a weapon very similar to that one during Infantry Officer School. I've also had to use these fine skills paid for with thousands of Federation credits in combat. You picked a ringer," he said. "Perhaps you should take on someone more suited to your skills."
Tarik was deliberately goading the Andorian--easy to do with such a short-tempered race. "All right--let's see what you can do, human!" he said, indicating Paul.
"Who, me, mon amis? I am honored by your compliment, but I must decline," Paul said. "After all, I am but a Science Officer!"
"You can take this son of a bitch!" Tarik said. "Do it!"
Reluctantly, Paul got up and strapped on the sensor gear, the gun slung low at his side. The Andorian took his place at the opposite end of the booth. The alarm sounded, and Paul managed to get off five shots. Three of them hit the Andorian. The Andorian got off one shot, which missed.
The patrons cheered Paul. A very generous Tellarite put Paul's next five rounds of drinks on his tab.
"Tarik, are you so sure goading this guy is a good idea? It takes a lot to get an Andorian drunk, but it looks like he's pretty far under as it is--and he's not taking this well!"
"Troy's right--I can read this guy from across the room without even trying! He's not too happy about you taking his one claim to fame!" Kassia said.
"My one claim to fame?" the Andorian shouted, overhearing Kassia with his superior hearing. "Listen, you little trollop, I'll show you a thing or two about my claim to fame!" he said, making a grab for Kassia.
Immediately the three men stepped in front of her, Tarik at center. "You'll have to get through us first," Troy said.
"I don't zhink you want zhat kind of trouble, do you?" Paul asked, fingering his claw necklace".
"Guys, I'm flattered," Kassia said--and she was. The three most dear men in her life were standing between her and an individual from a race known for having violent tempers and the means to back them up. "But I think I need to stand up for myself. I'll try your little game!"
"Are you sure about this?" Tarik asked. "He may be drunk, but you haven't learned how to use modern weapons yet, let alone a museum piece like that!"
"Just show me what to do. Besides, you've been meaning to do this anyway, right?" Kassia asked playfully.
"Five minutes with the lady, and we'll see if she can kick your ass, too!" Tarik told the Andorian. The blue-skinned alien nodded, his antennae limp and flopping with inebriation.
Tarik led Kassia to the booth, trying very hard not to become aroused as he helped her into the sensory gear and strapped the gun to her waist. "This seems a lot lower than the way you wear your phaser," Kassia said.
"A phaser is a much different weapon. This weapon is designed after similar weapons used on Earth over five hundred years ago. It's much heavier; you'll need the extra space to draw the weapon. Pull it straight up from the holster, then level it, like so," Tarik explained, pantomiming the motion.
Kassia imitated Tarik, using the gun. "Very good--now faster!"
Kassia went much faster with the gun. She's a natural--who would've thought!!! Tarik thought. Kassia grinned as she picked up on Tarik.
"Now, you won't have much time to sight in on him," Tarik said. "Don't do anything fancy--just point at the chest. You may not be able to handle the recoil," he explained. The weapon was designed to simiulate the recoil of the ancient revolver. "One shot is all you need!"
Kassia lifted the weapon and sighted down the barrel. "Do I align this bump on the front in this notch back here?" she asked.
"You've got the idea!" Tarik said. "This is only a game, though. If you want to back out, no one will blame you--especially under these circumstances!"
"No, I don't," Kassia said, looking directly at Tarik. "I'm through with backing out and running away."
Tarik grinned. "Okay, killer--go for it!"
The Andorian stepped into the booth, glaring at Tarik as the Romulan stepped out. The alarm sounded.
With one smooth motion, Kassia brought the gun up and planted a single shot into the Andorian's chest. She reholstered before her opponent had even managed to draw.
The bar broke out into wild applause as Kassia hung up her gear. The Andorian was silent for the first time that evening. "Why didn't you tell me it was this much fun?" Kassia asked Tarik.
"For me, this is work," he answered. "It's just not something I think about as fun. And besides, I wanted that idiot to learn a lesson."
At once Kassia understood as she probed Tarik's mind. She could tell her lover was offended by the notion of pointing weapons at people for idle entertainment.
"Now, let's get down to the business at hand!" Tarik said. "Bartender, Coach Gun for Madame Kassia!!!"
The bartender mixed another dose of the vile concoction and handed it to Kassia. Kassia sipped at it delicately and grimaced.
"Not used to ze 'ard stuff, eh?" Paul asked, smiling.
Kassia shook momentarily. "It takes some getting used to, but I think I like it!" she said, downing the glass. "Bring me another!"
After another five drinks or so (it was hard to keep count) some music began playing, and several of the patrons paired up. Troy was continuing to work on the bartender while Paul was engaged in conversation with a young Deltan woman who was being unusually friendly and physical toward him. Neither Tarik nor Troy needed Kassia's abilities to determine just what the Deltan was doing.
"Care to dance?" Tarik asked Kassia.
"I don't know if I can! I can barely stand up right now!" she answered.
"Well, allow me to lead, madame!" He took Kassia by the arm and led her to the dance floor.
She giggled as her green eyes sparkled in the lights. He took her to the middle of the dance floor. She held onto him to steady herself a bit. Her balance was only slightly off. Country music was playing and a few other people were dancing.
"So what do we do now?" she asked, playfully, actually enjoying the light-headedness from the several drinks she'd downed.
"Just follow my lead," Tarik said, holding her close and swaying to the music. "Having fun yet?"
"Oh yeah . . ." she laughed again, as her mind whirled. "I have never felt like this before!" She sighed contentedly as she rested her head on his shoulder.
"I'm glad. We've all been worried about you!" he said in reply. "That was a pretty good job you did on that drunk Andorian, though! Better even than I expected!"
"Who would have ever thought!" she replied playfully. "I just knew I could do it . . . Don't know how . . . It was almost automatic . . . Of course, I did sense when he was going to fire and somehow my reflexes ended up faster . . ." She was amazed as she went over the memory in her mind. "So are you going to teach me how to use a phaser now?" she smiled.
"I think you're ready!" he smiled back. "Day after tomorrow we'll get started on that and a few other things I've got in mind for you!"
Tarik looked over at Paul, who was in an increasingly animated discussion with the Deltan. "I hope he knows what he's getting into!" Tarik laughed.
Kassia turned her attention to Paul for a moment and shook her head. "He has no clue . . ." she replied. "Maybe I should warn him about her . . ." She started to take a step toward Paul, but felt Tarik grab her arm gently.
"Some things a man has to learn for himself," Tarik said. "Believe me!"
She raised her eyebrow for a moment, but allowed herself to pulled back into his arms. She had some hesitations about not doing something, but also trusted Tarik's opinion, which was probably more coherent than her own, she laughed to herself. "I guess you're right," she conceeded. "Paul is a big boy . . . Only . . . I don't think he knows what she'll -"
Tarik inturrupted her train of thought. "Paul knows; he's just enjoying the ride. She'll get a few drinks out of him and then, when it comes time for the payoff, vanish without a trace. One of the oldest scams in the book! Not strictly illegal, but extremely annoying! Other than being light a few credits he'll be fine!"
"All right," she nodded and sighed, caressing his face and brushing some hair from his forehead. "So be it ... " Her eyes gazed intently into his.
They danced for a while; the bartender went off shift, to be replaced by another attractive woman in a similar costume. The previous bartender sat down next to Troy and began talking. Paul and the Deltan were deep in conversation, the Deltan's glass getting filled pretty much on demand. Paul waved Tarik and Kassia over.
"'Ey, lovebirds! Why don' you come over 'ere an' join us?" Paul said, laughing. If there's a human record for level of intoxication, Paul has long ago broken it! Tarik thought.
Kassia started giggling again as she picked up on Tarik's thoughts. "Shall we?" she asked. "I could use another drink!"
"Of course!" They walked over to Paul's table.
"My friends, I would like you to meet ze lovely and charming Ulana," Paul said, with only a slight slur in his voice. "Ulana, zhese are Kassia and Tarik, two of ze finest people I know--zhat eez, when Tarik eez not busting my ass over something!"
Ulana giggled politely. On the outside, she seemed not to have much going on upstairs, but Tarik could tell there was definitely a game going on.
Kassia was about to say something, when she picked up Tarik's thoughts as he gave her a look. This was one time she did need to stay out of things. "Nice to meet you Ulana . . ." she said, with a soft smile, but her green eyes reflecting what she felt.
Ulana giggled again. That's right, Ulana, keep working him, Tarik said, a grin emerging on his face.
"What eez zo funny, Tarik?" Paul demanded.
"Oh, nothing, just an old joke I remembered. A Romulan joke--you probably wouldn't get it," Tarik explained.
"Aah! I see! Perhaps zomeday you will explain eet to me?"
"Probably sooner than later," Tarik answered. Troy and his new friend joined them at the table.
"Cylara, meet Kassia, Tarik, Paul, and--I didn't catch your name," Troy said to Ulana.
"My name is Ulana, and I'm pleased to meet you!" Ulana answered, sizing up Troy.
"Good to meet you all!" Cylara said, somewhat more sincerely than Ulana. "I don't think I've seen any of you here before!"
"Well, we figured we might try something new for a change," Troy explained. "Any chance we could get out of here? It's starting to get a little noisy," he said. The Andorian had managed to pull himself together and was even more obnoxious than earlier.
"Oh, Prophets save me from that idiot!" Cylara said. "Let the closing shift deal with it! I'd love to get out of here!" she said, clinging to Troy's arm.
With that, the five of them left the bar, Ulana's hand in Paul's pocket as they headed out the door.
"Where should we go now?" Kassia asked, still wanting another drink, but also with the same desire to get away from the Andorian troublemaker.
"Hmmm...anyone up for the holodeck?" Tarik asked. The liquor was beginning
to get to his head as well.
"Definitely!!" Kassia replied enthusiastically.
"What do you think, Cylara?" Troy asked.
"I'll go wherever you go!" she smiled.
The group wound its way to Holo Pursuits. "We'd like to get a suite, please," Tarik said. "Put it on my bill."
"Tarik," Paul asked, "how eez eet zhat you always have zo much money to spend? I know what you make!"
"I was left a large inheritance," Tarik answered. "My parents' collections still sell very well on Vulcan and elsewhere. Most of the time I just let it sit in a bank account and live off my salary alone, but occasionally I like to party as well!" For the first time, Tarik noticed that he hadn't gotten angry when anything related to his parents and their untimely demise was brought up. Maybe I'm finally healing--or I've gotten too drunk! he thought as the attendant led them to a vacant holosuite.
"I have ze perfect program!" Paul said. "Run program DeverauxShores204," he said. Immediately a sandy beach lit by a full moon appeared. Tarik was worried that this might trigger flashbacks for Kassia--it was almost exactly this setting in which she had tried to kill herself a few weeks before.
"Zhis eez a place on Earth I enjoy visiteeng--called Monterey, just south of ze Academy!" Paul said proudly. "Initiate bonfire subroutine!" Immediately a huge beach bonfire started in front of them.
Gently Kassia squeezed Tarik's hand. ~I'm okay . . .~ she projected to him, having come to terms with the event. Only on rare occasions did it come back to haunt her. Other things now haunted her from time to time.
The group sat around the campfire, continuing to chat about basically nothing. "So, tell me, Paul, about these people you encountered in the Gamma Quadrant--the Proctologists, I believe you said they were?" Troy asked. The whole group--including Paul--broke up in laughter.
"Ah, yes, mon amis, ze Proktolans were indeed a pain in ze ass!" Paul replied, seeing fit to follow a bad joke with an even worse one. "Zhey were attempting to probe ze Federation--"
"I hope they wore gloves!" Tarik added.
"Zhis eez my story!" Paul protested. "Anyway, zhey were attempting to probe ze Federation when ze Discovery encountered zhem. Eet waz terrible! Most of ze crew was wiped out!"
"How did you manage to make it out of there?" Kassia asked.
"Pure luck, zhat's all I can say," Paul replied. Ulana looked impressed, probably the only sincere emotion she'd displayed all night as she clung to Paul.
Kassia picked up some of Paul's memories without intending to and shuddered. She needed to do something to block her own emotional responses, or else she ran the risk of her own memories coming to the surface and she was feeling too good to let that happen!
The alcohol had lowered her inhabitions. As she gazed out at the moon reflecting on the water, she impulsively stood up.
"Okay, guys! Well . . . Troy, Paul . . . You two close your eyes," she laughed.
They gave her a strange look until she reached for the zipper on the back of her cat suit. Immeidately their eyes flew shut with shocked surprise. She giggled again and let the outfit drop onto the sand. Being left only in her underthings, she ran toward the water and waded in. Once she was deep enough she dove under the water. After a minute she surfaced and looked at the group on the beach.
"So any of you daring enough to join me?" she laughed and dove back under the water. Tarik ran immediately after her, abandonning all pretense at gentlemanly behavior, leaving clothing on the beach behind him. Before long, Troy and Cylara had joined them as well. Paul and Ulana remained on the beach, rapt in conversation.
As Tarik tried to catch Kassia, she kept managing to slip just out of his grasp and disappear under the ocean water. For being quite inebrated, she was still swift! At least in the water, he thought, as he missed her again, the sound of her giggling echoing in the darkness. Suddenly he felt a light touch on his back. As he turned, their eyes met for a moment before she disappeared yet again.
The two continued that way, playing cat-and-mouse with one another until Tarik finally caught up with Kassia. "Got you!" he said, grinning evilly.
She laughed and stopped struggling, a seductive air about her. "Now that you caught me, what will you do with me?" she asked in soft, silken tones. Her wrapped her arms around his neck, playing with his hair.
"Hmmm...I could think of a few things I'd like to do, but not in front of everyone else!" he said as he hoisted her over one shoulder and carried her back to the fire.
As they sat together in one another's arms, Kassia saw Troy and Cylara still swimming in the water, though they had not played the way she and Tarik had. However, they were enjoying each other's company . . . That made Kassia smile brighter as she leaned into Tarik's embrace. She sat up and turned toward him, not caring who was watching and kissing him lovingly.
"You have no idea how much you've for me . . . For me and Troy . . ." she said. Her green eyes spoke words her lips didn't say.
"You've done more than I can express for me--both of you," Tarik said, hearing what was not spoken as he pulled her in more closely.
At some point, everyone had found his or her way back to the fire. No one was quite sure what had transpired that evening when they woke up the next morning. Troy and Cylara woke up in an embrace near the fire; Kassia and Tarik lay side-by-side holding hands slightly farther out from the fire.
They were all awakened by the sound of Paul screaming! Troy and Tarik immediately jerked their heads over to where Paul was--and started laughing hysterically.
Paul had awakened not in the arms of a lovely Deltan barfly, but embracing a large, plastic, yellow, kilt-wearing clown, one hand up the clown's kilt...