Tarik and Preston were on the command deck overseeing the repairs to the station. With the help of the repair tender Yukon the repairs to the station were taking far less time than anticipated. The spare parts, machine shops, and experienced technicians aboard the ship made up for the shortfalls incurred by the expedition to the G'Kar homeworld and the casualties from the Mulluran attack.
"It looks like your people have done a pretty good job rerouting the major systems," Preston said. "We should have most of the major systems up and running on the affected decks by 1200 today."
Tarik checked the chronometer. It was already 1030; he'd been on the bridge continuously since 2300--after having only spent five hours off shift. The adrenaline of battle having already left his system, he suddenly felt very weary.
[Lieutenant Sliva to Colonel Tarik--come in please.] Lieutenant Sliva, a Deltan, was the counselor aboard the Yukon. That such a small crew--the Yukon complement was less than sixty hands--would need a counselor amazed Tarik, until he learned just how stressful repair duty can be. At least we get to shoot back! he thought. These repair techs have to keep working regardless!
"If you'll excuse me, Commander, I'll take this call in private."
"Of course."
Tarik entered the command office. "Go ahead, Lieutenant," he said as soon as the door was shut.
[I wanted to let you know that I feel confident that your counselor will recover completely from her recent trauma,] Sliva reported. [Unfortunately, our vessel will only be here for three days. I'll do what I can for her here, but she is going to need more intensive treatment.]
"I am making arrangements for her to travel to Vulcan for treatment," Tarik replied. "Do you have any recommendations for a healer or other qualified individual?"
[I would recommend Dr. Strik, of the Shi'Kahr Exomedical Clinic. He has extensive experience dealing with non-Vulcans. Strik's training and experience make him an ideal match for Kassia. I'll send you his CV later today.]
"Thank you, Ms. Sliva. Your assistance on such short notice is most appreciated."
[All part of the job. If you'll excuse me, there are other people here who are in need of help.] With that, she cut the channel.
Tarik didn't really blame her for being abrupt. As much as the station had been damaged, its people had also been damaged physically and emotionally. I hope we can get you better soon, Kassia--for your sake and everyone else's!
Troy walked back into the quarters he shared with Kassia and immediately noticed a difference. There was a scent in the air. She was burning incense. He recognized the scent as Tranquility. He has used it a few times himself. There were also candles lit. On the couch sat Kassia. She was still had a blanket draped over her shoulders, but there was something about her that told him she was more alert.
As he approached her, he saw she was drinking a cup of tea and that in her other hand she held two crystals. She rotated them in her hand as she stared out the porthole. As he touched the back of the couch, he startled her. She turned an looked at him forcing a smile. The first smile he had seen on her face since the attack.
"You seem better today," Troy remarked. "I assume your session went well?" he asked.
She shrugged. "It went well . . . as well as it could anyway," she replied. Her haunted green eyes gazed at him.
"Nobody expects you to get better right away," Troy said, gently rubbing her shoulders from behind her seat. "I've talked with Tarik. He said he wants to take you to see a healer on Vulcan. I think that would be a very good idea at this point. You've been through way too much to go it alone, and none of us are professionals. I'm afraid we might do you more harm than good."
She nodded and took a sip of her tea. "You know . . . I knew someone had set Paul up. I knew it . . . But for some reason I never got a psychic image of who . . . " She shook her head. "I never thought Kelly . . . Maybe I should have . . . And to be attacked in a place . . ." she stopped for a moment as she gathered her thoughts, "In a place I have felt safe in . . . But as soon as we touched he seemed to know I knew . . . I tried to fight him . . . Maybe if I had screamed out for the turbolift to stop or called for security or . . . I don't know . . . I just keep thinking there should have been something else I could have done to get away from him . . . To stop him . . . and then his threat . . ." she shuddered. She put the crystals down on the table along with her unfinished tea and pulled the blanket closer to her body. Tears shined in her eyes, but they didn't fall. She was in control for the moment.
"'You did then what you knew how to do. When you knew better, you did better,'" Troy quoted. "Nobody makes all the right decisions in a stressful moment; certainly not when her own life is at stake! You were dealing with someone more experienced, better trained, and a hell of a lot more devious than you. Consider how long Kelly kept the wool pulled over Captain Wallace's eyes, and Garek's. Garek's a telepath as well, and he worked much more closely with Kelly than you. And he didn't figure it out either until the last possible moment! Don't blame yourself."
She let out a breath and leaned against him. "Its more than that, Troy . . . I can still hear his voice in my mind . . . I can feel his breath on my cheek . . . I can feel his hand on me . . . " Suddenly, she leaned forward as if she were going to be sick. This was a memory on a memory. Her breathing began coming short and fast for a moment, before she began to force herself to breath deeply. But she still felt physically sick.
Troy caught her by the shoulder. "Are you going to be okay? Should I call Sickbay?" he asked.
She shook her head. "They can't do anything about this . . . except give me a tranquilizer and I still have some left," she said, motioning over to the hypospray still sitting on the table. She tried to sit up, but still couldn't. She felt as if someone had kicked her in the gut. If she just played it out it would go away and if it didn't, there was the medication to help her.
"Kelly's dead now," Troy said. "He won't be bothering you ever again."
"I don't know . . ." she replied. "I don't sense he's dead . . . maybe he is . . . I don't know . . ." She was still shaking. "All I do know is that I constantly see him coming after me, or threatening to take me by force . . ." she said. He breathing became shallow again as memories of the fight crowded out any rational thought. Tears started shining in her eyes again as she tried to force them away. "What if he's not dead? What if he wants to finish the job he started?" she said.
"Tarik and Deveraux destroyed the ship that beamed him out of the brig, Kass. The few escape pods that have been recovered all contain only Mullurans. Either he was immolated in the explosion or his molecules are still beaming and dispersing through the cosmos. There's no way Kelly's coming back!" Troy said. "Sliva told me that you'll probably be feeling this for a while. It's not unusual. As soon as this damned war is over with we'll get you proper help. Just don't give up!"
Suddenly, a small sob finally escaped her, but she reigned it in quickly. Not quickly enough to stop stray tears from trickling down her cheeks. "Its so hard to have these memories and these feelings, Troy . . . Its like I am either scared or hurting all the time . . . The only time it stops is when the medication puts me to sleep. Then I sleep without really dreaming. Otherwise its always nightmares . . . I just feel like I am on this nightmare ride and it won't stop . . ."
Tenderly he caressed her face, removing the tears and looked at her. "I wish I could make it stop, Kass. You know I do . . . What can I do to help you?" he asked, helplessness reflected in his dark eyes.
She looked at him and shook her head. "I don't know . . ." she said as more tears fell.
Without knowing what else he could do, he put his arms around her and held her. He could feel her shaking like a leaf.
"Do you want some of your medication?" he asked.
After a moment of thought, she nodded.
He picked up the hypospray from the table and pressed it against Kassia's arm. The hypospray hissed as Kassia was dosed. Both Troy and Kassia relaxed, but for far different reasons. "Would you like some more tea, or maybe something to eat?"
She nodded. "More tea please," she said softly. "Maybe some Darikia Melon to eat with some brie and crackers . . ." She wanted light food. That's all she felt her stomach could handle and it was what appealed to her at the moment.
Troy went to the replicator and entered her order, along with a ham sandwich and a glass of orange juice for himself. He brought the plates over to where Kassia was sitting and sat down next to her.
Slowly, she took a bite of the melon and then ate a cracker with cheese. But after hardly eating any of it, she took her tea and sat back again, staring out the porthole into the darkness, as if trying to lose herself in it.
Troy stared out the porthole with her. From their vantage point, nothing of the station's superstructure was visible, just pitch black with the occasional wisps of nebulosity associated with the Briar Patch. "Not a whole lot out there," Troy said. "Maybe that's why you're looking at it. It's probably easier right now."
"I just wish I could disappear into that darkness . . ." she said. "That would definitely be easier . . . There's something soothing about that blackness out there . . . I guess that's why I stare at it . . ."
That's pretty much what happened to Kelly, Troy thought sourly. "And how do you know the darkness doesn't have problems of its own?"
"The darkness just is . . ." she said. "It doesn't have feelings . . . Just us sentient beings do . . ." She took a sip of her tea and let out a breath softly.
"But if the darkness just is," Troy said, "then it also feels. Essence precedes feelings. But you don't need existentialism right now. As much as we'd like to become nothing, the fact is that we are here, and must deal with it. Right now you're having trouble, but we'll get you help."
"I don't know if anyone can really help . . . Even the counselor I saw today . . . I don't know . . . I guess she helped a little, but she didn't make any of the memories any less intense then they were before . . ." She shook her head, took another sip of her tea and then put it down on the table. She was starting to feel tired and weak.
"Just rest right now," Troy said as he took her plate from her and set it on the table. "It's all going to get better. We're all in this together--you, me, Tarik, Paul, everyone. And we're going to help you through this, just as you've helped all of us through so much."
She began to fight to keep her eyes open, but it was obvious that her body was relaxed. "Troy . . . don't leave me alone . . . okay?" she asked as she drifted to sleep, leaning into the corner of the couch.
"I'll be here, or someone else will," Troy said.
Tarik entered the quarters at this point, dressed in a badly-stained work coverall. The effects of the past day were showing on him. "How is she doing, Troy?" he asked.
She shrugged his shoulders as he looked at Tarik. "She's talking more, but still real fragile . . . She's back asleep again. She asked for her tranquilizer . . ."
"I spoke with Sliva earlier; she tells me that she thinks Kassia will make a full recovery, but she's going to need more intensive treatment than we can give her here."
"She said that to me too," Troy replied with a nod. "I definitely think she's right. Kassia can't seem to escape what happened. She was even blaming herself earlier . . ."
"I'm told that's a fairly common occurrence in these cases. There's a civilian transport headed for Vulcan in six days, and Sliva gave me a referral to a healer who specializes in non-Vulcans. I'm hoping I can convince her to take the trip alone if need be; I'd go with her but I can't until this whole situation gets stabilized."
Troy shook his head. "I doubt she'll go alone . . ." he said. "She doesn't even want to be alone right now. She told me not to leave her alone . . ." He sighed heavily as he caressed her face. "She's never been like this before and I feel like I'm just at a loss . . . I don't know what to do to make it easier or better for her . . ." He was tired and frustrated and worried.
"I'm going to see what I can do. If I have to I'll desert!" Tarik said. "Maybe there's another solution, though. I could have a family friend come get her, or see if the healer's willing to make a house call. But one way or another Kassia needs to get first-rate help!"
"You won't get any argument from me," he said running a hand through his own dark hair. "I want Kassia back . . ."
"You'll get her back--one way or another!" Tarik replied, taking Kassia's hand, which had slipped off the sofa, and placing it gently on her breast.
Troy stood up. "I'm going to move her to her bedroom . . . She'd be more comfortable in bed I think . . ." Carefully, he gathered her up in his arms and carried her to her room. Gently, he laid her down on the bed and looked at her face. Tenderly he caressed it. "Its going to be okay, Kass . . . I promise you, we're going to make it right somehow . . ." With that, he kissed her forehead and covered her with a blanket.
"You get some rest too, Troy. The club's not going to be opening for another couple of days while the repair crews are working," Tarik said. "I'll watch her for now."
Wearily Troy nodded and stood up. "Yeah, thanks . . ." he said. "I just don't want her alone right now anymore than she wants to be alone . . . Anyway, just let me know if you need me for anything . . ."
"Of course," Tarik said. "I'll need to borrow your comm panel a little later to make some arrangements, but I should be fine." Troy returned to his bedroom to sleep. Tarik sat down on a chair next to Kassia's bed and watched her for a moment. She was sleeping, but the expression on her face was anything but tranquil. It wasn't long before Tarik fell asleep as well.