Kassia and Dr. Strik sat in the living room of Kassia's quarters, which had been darkened to 30 percent illumination. They had just finished a mindmeld. It was their eighth session since Strik had arrived on the station, and Kassia was showing improvement.
"How are you holding up, Kassia? I know we have just melded, but it is usually clinically useful for the patient to place her experiences in her own words."
"The nightmares are still frightening, though not as strong now," she said, "And the flashbacks have diminished a lot... But..." An image of the turbolift jumped into her mind and an involuntary shudder coursed through her. "But they still get bad in the turbolift... Kelly did more to me than just smack me around. He..." She closed her eyes as visions of Troy's father came to her. "He touched on a fear that I thought was gone... I guess it was just buried."
"So not only do you fight against the recent trauma with Mr. Kelly, but also the past trauma you experienced with your stepfather," Strik said, making a note on a PADD.
She nodded, her green eyes looking away as she sighed. "My foster father threatened to take me by force," she said. The memory of that night was intense. She could still feel his hand on her and smell the liquor on his hot breath. "If it hadn't been for Troy, he would have... He stabbed Troy in the gut for trying to stop him..." Out of all the sessions with Strik, this was the first she had really spoken of the event with Troy's father.
"And what happened with Kelly triggered your emotions regarding this previous event?" Strik asked, already knowing the answer. Without giving himself over to emotion, inwardly Strik felt overjoyed that such a significant breakthrough had been made.
Kassia nodded, fighting off tears that were misting her eyes. "When Kelly threatened to... rape me... that triggered it... I don't feel like I can deal with this..." she said, her breath becoming shallow. "The fear... It's so strong when those memories come back..."
"Breathe deeply, Kassia. Close your eyes and breathe deeply," Strik said calmly. Sexual assault was a significant trauma even for Vulcans--especially for Vulcans. The pon farr with its dismantling of the famed rational mind of the Vulcan brought with it great terror for Vulcan women who ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time. "Access your inner mind--the mind that is the source of your power," Strik instructed.
Her eyes closed and she took the deep breaths as instructed. Almost as soon as she had closed her eyes, she had been assaulted by memories. Troy's father's hands... Then holding Troy in her arms as he bled... But she continued the deep breathing and suddenly, she was encompassed by a warm, white light. Within moments, she felt calm.
Strik had been through this technique with Kassia for the past three sessions. "Now we are going to work toward removing the trauma," he said. "Do you see the light?" he asked. Kassia nodded. "Concentrate on the light, until it overwhelms everything else."
She was already there, but she allowed herself to feel the light and almost become it. The memories for the moment, were held at bay by the light.
Suddenly, the memories were back, but it was because her mind was ready. This was part of the process. As she went through the memories of Kelly, they melted into the ones of her foster father. They became intertwined and the fear started welling up in her again. But suddenly, the light grew brighter and the calm returned. She watched the memories separate and then felt the emotional intensity lessen. The fear was ebbing. Then suddenly, a new memory came forth. It was another of Kelly, only it seemed new to her. Her, Tarik, Paul and Cherrin were in Bay 3. Kelly was there... An alternate Kelly... She had slapped him... And then... then part of her had taken over. A part of her she had never experienced before. Anger and vengeance had coursed through her. Pain... she was causing pain... pain faded... death... she felt death... Then she remembered Tarik... Kelly had been sent away... The alternate Kelly... Only, then a vision of him laying on the deck dead came to her mind. She had seen it without seeing it. She heard voices make reference to her being almost catatonic... When suddenly, the station had come back into full motion and Kelly was gone... But one thing she now knew... SHE had killed him... She wasn't sure how, but she had killed him... The alternate Kelly was dead because of her...
"What do you see now?" Strik asked. In a Vulcan, the technique he had prescribed would have erased the offending memories. In an unknown species such as Kassia's, however, there was no way to be sure...
"There... there was another Kelly on the station... He was from another reality... He was just as bad as the other... We were sending him back to his dimension because of some kind of rift that he'd caused. It was him or the station and New Canada... I remember asking him why he had done that to me... He had said because he could... And then... I don't know... I was filled with all this anger... I don't remember much, but I saw Kelly laying dead on the deck... The officers around me said I wasn't really there... I wasn't I guess... . I was catatonic or something. But I know I killed him... I'm not sure how though... But he's dead and I did it..." The image of Kelly laying on the deck with blood coming from his eyes, ears and nose was still fresh in her mind.
Strik made a note on his PADD to research enhanced psionic abilities in known races. "Can you focus on the light again?" he asked.
She nodded without opening her eyes and took several deep breaths. Within moments, the light was back and a calm began entering her body and mind. The memories were vanishing in the light.
"Keep focusing on the light. Let it consume all other thoughts," Strik said as he accessed the ship's computer. "Computer, display instances of known psionic attack ability in Federation and affiliated races," he asked. The data began scrolling on the screen. One entry in particular caught Strik's attention. "Download information on inhabitants of Albacete to personal terminal. Begin analysis of current subject's phenotype and genotype; cross-reference with all known data on Albacetians."
The light was lulling her into a sense of complete calm. She was relaxed and the sense of peace she had was wonderful. The memories, for the moment, were gone from her mind.
<Analysis complete.> the computer announced. Strik looked over the data. "How are you doing?" he asked as his eyebrows raised upon seeing the conclusions.
"I'm very relaxed," she replied with a hint of a smile. Her eyes remained closed so she would not lose the light.
"Good. Now, I want you to remember this technique, and practice it daily. If you do nothing else, use this technique," Strik said. "Now, open your eyes."
Obediently, her green eyes opened. Her previous fear was gone.
"I've found some information that may be of interest to you, Kassia," Strik said as he presented the PADD to her. "Certain information you related gave me the key to something I had suspected."
"What is this?" she asked, before looking it over. There was a concern in her eyes, but nothing more.
"A key to your past," Strik said. "The Albacetians were believed to have been wiped out by the Borg 2,000 years ago, but there have been persistent rumors of small colonies that escaped assimilation. Approximately one in five thousand Albacetian females were possessed of extremely strong telepathic, empathic, and psychic abilities. These formed the nucleus of an elite order of warrior-priestesses called the chal who once ruled over Albacetian society but who were rumored to have fallen from favor after the Borg attack. You, madam, have a genetic sequence that is remarkably similar to one of these warrior-priestesses."
Kassia was shocked beyond words as she looked over the information she had been given. It was more then she could believe... She might be one of these people? "Did they have spots? Does anyone know? Do I look like that species? And what happened to Kelly... I really did that..." Her head was spinning with everything. She wasn't upset, just a bit overwhelmed.
"The Albacetian sect was indeed formidable," Strik said. "Had Mr. Kelly--or anyone else--managed to offend an Albacetian warrior-priestess the result would have been much as you described. This is what caused me to think of this connection. However, I do not see any reference to spots or other skin markings beyond a slight orange tint to the skin. It is possible that there are other sentient races in your ancestry, or the spots could be a natural mutation induced by the radiation of the Briar Patch. Our information is sketchy and centuries old, but your genotype is essentially Albacetian."
"An Albacetian warrior - priestess..." she said just above a whisper, still not taking her eyes off the PADD before her. She could hardly believe it. "I'll have to reference everything I can and read about my ancestors..." She smiled. For the first time in her life, that she remembered, she belonged to a species.
"You may want to access Starfleet data on the Borg," Strik suggested without emotion. "Reference Species 3392. I will continue my own research to determine what, if any, solutions the Albacetians may have had for your problem. In the meantime, continue the meditation exercise," he said. "Unfortunately, I need to leave, but I will return in three days' time to check your progress."
"Thank you," she replied with a smile. "You have helped me with so much..." She set the PADD down and looked at him.
"Live long and prosper, Kassia," Strik said, raising his hand in salute.
Kassia returned the gesture and replied, "Peace and long life, Dr. Strik."
Strik bowed curtly and left the room, encountering Troy on his way out. "Keep an eye on her and make sure she gets plenty of rest and proper meals, but by all means do not let her withdraw too far. She needs to start engaging the world again before she'll be completely healthy."
"I'll do my best, Doctor, but my sister is a stubborn woman," Troy said.
"With Colonel Tarik and Lieutenant Deveraux away from the station, you may be the only one who can," Strik replied. "But don't force her into anything she doesn't want to do. That will only cause her to retreat further. Now, if you'll excuse me, there are others who need my help here," he finished.
Indeed, there were. Even weeks after the Mulluran attack on the station, there were still trauma cases cropping up... some of them delayed response, some of them further weakening already vulnerable individuals. Strik and his staff more than had their hands full.
As Strik left, Troy went to Kassia.
"So, how did it go?" Troy asked, happy that Kassia was at last making progress.
She smiled gently. She seemed calm, and yet, he could tell by her posture and the glint in her green eyes that her mind was working on something.
"It went well... It was... informative," she replied.
"How so?" Troy asked, sitting next to her on the arm of the sofa.
"Do you remember the Kelly that was aboard. He was from an alternate dimension?" she asked.
"There was more than one?" Troy asked.
Her smile grew as she looked down for a moment. "Yes. Remember the rift that opened? It threatened to take New Canada and us into it? It was because of this Kelly. He had transported himself here from an alternate reality and it caused the rift to open..."
She waited for him to remember the incident.
"So Kelly was responsible for that?" Troy asked.
She nodded. "And he had attacked the alternate Kassia as well... When I asked him why he had done it, he just said, because he could..." She swallowed. "I apparently killed him, Troy..." She looked away from him, her green eyes staring at the deck. She couldn't really put the finger on what she was feelings. She had hated him... Hated him for what he was and what he had done and especially what he had done to her... But he had been a life... Even if he had been a miserable one. She sighed. She could hardly believe it had happened, and that she hadn't picked up the images from Tarik, or Paul or Dr. Cherrin...
"My God! How..." Troy asked, speechless.
She shook her head. "My telekinetic abilities are apparently a lot stronger than anyone ever imagined... " Suddenly, she handed him the PADD Dr. Strik had given her. "Look at this."
Troy looked over the PADD. Although the technical language was beyond his education, he could still read the graphs. "I never imagined... you were able to kill someone with your thoughts?" he asked again, still not quite able to get a grasp on the notion.
"I guess so..." she replied with a sigh, "I am just as surprised. Believe me."
"So, any other surprises you have in store for me?" Troy asked, smiling but a little unnerved. And to think I'd been protecting her all these years when maybe it should have been the other way around!
Tenderly she touched his shoulder and looked into his dark eyes. "Troy, you will always be my big brother. Nothing has really changed... In fact, I don't even know what to do to control this. I mean, I don't even remember what happened completely... I just know that I did this... this... this thing..."
"I'm sure there's a way to control it," Troy said. "Why would such an ability exist without the means to control it somehow?"
"There are ways, I'm sure... But I don't know them. I suppose Dr. Strik could help with that as well," she replied as she looked away again, tears starting to mist her eyes. "Are you scared of me, Troy?" She asked, sensing his discomfort. This upset and alarmed her. She could not handle losing her brother.
Immediately, he was next to her on the couch and she was in his arms in a warm embrace. "No, I'm not scared of you, Kass... it's just that all this is a bit of a shock! I just don't know what to make of it. Does Tarik know? How about any of the others?"
"Tarik was there when it happened... But somehow for some reason, he was able to keep that memory from me. I didn't pick anything up from him at all... If it hadn't been for this session, I probably still wouldn't remember..." she said. "And Paul and Dr. Cherrin were there too. I haven't picked up any memories of it at all. But they all witnessed what happened. They all remember... Maybe my mind chose not to access those memories. My subconscious knew though..."
"Probably chose not to remember it, or at least think about it in your presence. And that might be the best way to approach it. You'll always be my little sister despite everything!" Troy said, gently caressing her cheek as he looked at her.
Suddenly, she turned her gaze away. She wasn't feeling so well. She felt herself becoming depressed. She wasn't sure why. Maybe the reality was finally hitting her that she had really taken a life. And even though it had been a scumbag, he had still been a living, breathing person. "Maybe I should go lay down for awhile."
"Why don't we go somewhere and get something to eat first, maybe check up on the shop," Troy said, seeing what was happening. "You've been cooped up in here for days--you've got to get out and do something! It'll be good for you!"
"I don't know..." She replied, as an image of the turbolift came to mind and then Kelly's face... And then the dead Kelly's body. "Maybe I'd be better off at home."
"You need to get out, Kass," Troy said firmly. "Dr. Strik was very emphatic on that point. If you continue to withdraw, it's only going to delay your recovery. Besides, there's a whole world out there that wants to see you again!"
"I don't know..." she replied. "After the resurfacing of this memory, I don't know if I want to go anywhere... " She sighed again deeply, with a darkness starting to come about her. Troy was nervous around her. He was trying to cover it up, but he was. She just wanted to sleep again. Maybe that would make her feel better. But Dr. Strik had said that she needed to rejoin life. She just didn't feel ready. Would she ever feel ready? And now with her relationship changing with Troy, she wasn't sure she could cope.
"Kass, if you stay here then Kelly really has defeated you. A lot of people miss you! And I miss seeing you around the Commerce Section. You're too good and too bright a person to limit yourself to this room," Troy said. "If that weren't the case, people like Tarik and Wallace and Deveraux would never have taken the interest in you they have. Are you going to betray that?"
Her eyes misted. "I don't want to let Captain Wallace down, or Tarik or anyone... I just feel like everything around me is falling apart... I can't explain it otherwise..." A stray tear fell down her cheek. At that, Troy embraced her again.
"You won't, unless you decide to stay here, Kass," Troy said, holding her tight. "And it's not falling apart; you're getting it back together." Strik had warned Troy that a reaction like this was possible; it was part of her healing cycle. The emotions had to be released before they could be put back to rights, and it was finally starting to happen.
Gently, he wiped the tear from her cheek. His eyes implored her to go with him. She could feel him tenderly urging her with his thoughts. Suddenly, she nodded. "All right... Lets go to the Commerce section and see what kind of trouble we can cause..." She smiled softly, but she was still fighting with her emotions.
Troy took her arm gently and led her out of their quarters to the turbolift. Kassia froze immediately upon seeing the doors. "Kass, you've done this before, you can do it again. Just remember what the doctor told you," he said, afraid that she might not make it past that final hurdle.
She began deep breathing to steady her nerves. She also touched several pressure points on her body lightly. Though she was still shaky as the turbolift door opened she walked in.
"Okay, lets do this..." she said, trying to sound more sure of things than she was feeling.
Troy immediately followed and took her hand.
Kassia had entered the turbolift with all the drama of a child's first steps.
"See, you made it!" Troy said, squeezing her hand tenderly. "Now, let's see what we can find in the Commerce Section. They've managed to get most of it put back together despite what their side and ours did to it!"
Troy put his arm around her shoulder in a show of support. Kassia, exhausted from the emotional effort (and, strangely enough, from reading the random thoughts of strangers as she passed through the corridor), nearly collapsed on him.
"I don't know about this Troy..." she said, still ready to turn around and go back. "Maybe I'm not ready for this... I feel so weak... I can't even stop the random thoughts I am getting at the moment..." And her anxiety did not ebb as the turbolift descended.
"You'll be fine--especially once you see your shop and all your friends!" Troy replied, trying to encourage her. "I think this will really help you. And you have been out of the loop for a while. Maybe it just takes time to readapt."
She sighed. "I hope you're right..."
The turbolift doors slid open to reveal a Commerce Section just as vibrant with life and excitement as it had ever been. All the usual sights were there: the familiar red vinyl seats and chrome fixtures of Harry's; the line outside El Taco; the MacDonnell's clown standing guard outside the Scottish eatery. And, not far away, Kassia's shop, doing a lively business as usual with Danni working the counter.
Despite herself, she smiled as she saw her shop. She had put so much of herself into it. There were several sparkling crystals in several different colors she had hung up in the window before she had first opened, and there they were, still twinkling bright. They were there to bring luck... It had brought her Tarik... Paul, Garek, Captain Wallace... Danni and even Toren Len. She looked around, and the damage that had been done was hardly noticeable. Everything looked just like it had before except for a few more marks here and there... She was overwhelmed with memories and the thoughts from people around her. For a moment, her head began to swim and her stance became unsteady. Troy quickly grabbed her.
"Easy, there!" Troy said, laughing for the first time in what seemed to be ages. "Just try to take it slowly."
Danni saw her from behind the counter and waved. "Kassia! It's good to see you again!" she said, rushing out to meet her. Before Kassia could respond, Danni had enveloped her in a hug. "I'm glad you're okay!"
Kassia smiled as her green eyes met Danni's dark ones. "Well, I'm getting better, or so the doctor says!" she replied. "How are things going with the shop? It looks like we've been busy here."
"Oh, ever since the shop reopened we have been swamped with requests for all kinds of things! Candles, runes, beads, incense... special oils, books... You name it! And there have been lots of requests for readings, but... Well, I have been telling people that you feel its not the time for psychic readings at the moment. Besides, rumors run wild on the station anyway, and everyone know what happened to you... Any one who cares that is... So how are you really doing?" she asked appraisingly. Her Betazoid telepathy picking up Kassia's muddled state.
"I'm just a little overwhelmed at the moment... I mean... I haven't spent much time outside my quarters for awhile now."
Danni nodded with understanding.
"Don't worry; the shop's under control for now. Len's been very helpful coming by when he's not on duty, and the G'kar delegation has actually arranged--without us asking--for a shipment of ceremonial items from their world. Ambassador Mon'dal says that there is likely to be a lot more G'kar traffic on the station, and they are obsessed with the mystical!"
Kassia was excited by the prospect of learning about yet another alien species, but Troy took the lead. "That's great!" he said. "We were just headed to lunch; maybe a little later we'll drop by and find out more." As happy as Kassia was at the prosperity of her store, even too much good news was a little more than she could handle.
"I promise I'll be back and then we can catch up between customers... Is Len going to be by later?" she asked.
"He usually is," Danni smiled, with a slight tint of pink growing on her cheeks.
Kassia smiled knowingly. "Well, if he gets here before me, let him know I expect him to stick around so I can say hello to him."
"Oh, believe me, he'll stick around," she said. "He's been worried about you too..."
Kassia was inundated by several memories of her own and Danni's. With a gentle, but deep breath, she tried to force them away.
"Good, then I guess I'll see both of you later," Kassia said.
"Something I should know about there?" Troy said as they headed to a Rigelian sushi bar for lunch.
"What?" she asked, pulled from the memories that were still floating through her mind.
"Danni and Toren Len. I don't think I know the whole story there..."
A small giggle and bright smile lit her face. The first one as bright as that in ages. "Danni and Len are seeing each other... I... uh, set them up... They're perfect for each other. It was in the cards..." There was the unmistakable happiness in her eyes when she was able to give people joy. Especially people who were close to her.
"See? You do mean a lot here!" Troy said as they approached the restaurant. "I've heard this is really good--better than Earth sushi, actually. I figured it would be a good choice for your first day out."
"Sure, why not!" she said, still smiling, the joy still with her for the moment. And even if it only lasted a little while, at least for that brief period of time, she felt happy again. Like her world was finally coming back together...