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"It's Not Easy Being Green"


Author: Banshee Squadron
Earthdate: August 27, 2384
Location: Federation base, Az'reel

After the discovery of the Smelly Jelly in the Mulluran soldier's helmet, a radio call went out and a quick search was conducted on all prisoners captured by the Federation forces. Several more helmets encrusted with the noxious jelly were discovered, invariably belonging to the most violent and irrational soldiers.

Meanwhile, the Banshees had returned to their own area of the compound and collected Jo from wherever she'd been wandering. The Mulluran helmet they had was safely inside a portable quarantine unit. Carter, Max, Jo and Kim were crowded around Sam, who sat on a wooden chair in the center of the room. Jo was running her tricorder over and around Sam's head, checking her cyber systems.

Minutes dragged by like hours, but finally Jo snapped her tricorder shut and addressed Carter. "I've detected a very slight variance in Sam's circuitry that looks to be the cause of her hyper-sensitivity to the Jelly. When we get back to the station, she'll have to have it corrected." Kim patted Sam's shoulder reassuringly and smiled, while Sam just looked uncomfortable at being the center of attention like this.

"I'm fascinated by the Jelly though," Jo went on. "Everywhere it's appeared, it's been the center of the most violent outbursts of... uh, well... violence."

"What exactly are you saying, Lieutenant?" asked Carter, suddenly worried that they had a new enemy to face on the Az'reel battlefield -- a gooey green one. "That the Smelly Jelly is the cause of this entire war?"

"Not necessarily, Commander," explained Jo. She clasped her hands behind her back and began pacing the small room. "The war is probably just what it seems: a border struggle between the Mullurans and the G'kar. The Jelly just seems to be taking advantage of it, that's all."

"Explain that for us non-geniuses, please," said Max.

Jo stopped pacing and faced Max. She looked like a college professor trying to explain something obvious to a particularly slow student. She had a tendency to forget that her IQ was a lot higher than the others'. "We know the Smelly Jelly feeds on neural energy. That's what it's doing here. Just imagine all the mental energy being spent out there on the battlefield! The Jelly must be happier than a tribble at an all-you-can-eat buffet!

"From what I've been able to figure out so far, it doesn't seem to be able to control the thoughts of others; that's why I think the war was not caused by the Jelly, but it does seem to able to affect the emotions of whoever it's in contact with. That's why the most violent prisoners are the ones that had the Jelly on their helmets. But after the war's over, its food supply will be severely diminished, so it'll go back to wherever it came from. Since the war is almost over, that process has already begun, hence the smell," concluded Jo.

"Because it only smells when it's not feeding," said Kim proudly.

"Right," said Jo. "In fact, I doubt it had any evil intentions here at all. It was just intensifying emotions already present."

After pondering for a few moments, Carter said, "All right." She was satisfied that the Jelly posed no new threat. "I'll call Captain Wallace and Colonel Tarik and relay your conclusions. We'll not worry about the Smelly Jelly for now, although we definitely need to take some more back to the station for more tests."

"One thing worries me about all this," said Max. The others looked to her. She said, "This slime lives on a planetoid lightyears from here, so I can't help but wonder: How did it get here? And where is it going once it leaves?"






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