"To be honest, I just feel so out of place... and all I can think of is who I left behind. How sad they must be. They must think Ryan and I are dead..." Tara said. "And I know I should be happy in many regards. My child is now safe... I will never have to deal with the treachery of Zo'or again. But I also feel lost. I was in the center of everything," Tara admitted. "I wanted to make sure the human race was safe with the Taelons and I wanted to make sure the Taelons were safe from themselves and the human... I was literally walking the edge..."
"You were a Taelon Protector first, then you became part of the Human Liberation Movement, and then the Ta'az... The Taelon Rebellion," Kassia replied. "That must have been a lot to take on. How did that make you feel?"
"Well, when I worked for Ta'al and I was simply a Protector, I hadn't realized what was truly going on. Ta'al was the most kind and generous being I had ever known. He... was my family... After all, my mother and brother were dead. My father barely even acknowledge me after they died, so I left home as soon as I was old enough and never looked back. Ta'al filled that void I had craved. Then for my own protection he sent me away. He had tried to place me under Da'an, another Taelon much like himself, but unfortunately I had been placed under Zo'or. My life was never the same after that. I saw just how evil some Taelons could be... And when Zo'or told me Ta'al had been forced to join the Great Void by order of the Synod," She paused and sighed. "I was grief-stricken. That same day we were told about Commander William Boone. He had been my only friend in the United States at the time."
"Two losses in the same day..." Kassia sighed with understanding. "Go on..."
"Well, the following day was Will's memorial service. Before that service I had decided what I had wanted to do. I had wanted to end it all."
"You couldn't just quit?" Kassia asked.
Tara shook her head. "The CVI in my brain is suppose to have what's called a Motivational Imperative. My over-riding drive was suppose to be to serve the Taelons. But apparently Ta'al had had me implanted with a CVI that lacked this little failsafe... Anyway it meant I couldn't just quit... I barely made it through the service and an Implant isn't suppose to cry. I was seen leaving the service by another Implant. She apparently had figured out something was wrong because she followed me. She stopped me right before I shot myself... Instead, she talked me into joining the Liberation movement. Her name was Grace Whitney," Tara smiled. "Her and I became very close friends..."
"And there were others too?" Kassia asked, knowing that Tara had to talk to someone about her life. She had to get this out to someone and who better than the ship's counselor?
"Jen and James Christian," Tara smiled. "The first time I met Jennifer I was dying. I had just lead a raid into a compound of a radical liberation group's head quarters. They had created a virus that would mutate the CVI and break it down. We had lost one Implant already and several others were already infected. I didn't want to waste any time. Well, I was caught off guard by the doctor who had created it and he injected me with a full dose of the serum. My CVI started to breakdown immediately... Jennifer was the one to realize that my CVI was modified. That I didn't have an MI. She replanted me with a modified CVI, so that I wouldn't fall prey to a Motivational Imperative. Her Husband James, at first didn't trust me, he, himself having a modified CVI. He wasn't sure about me. But that didn't last long," she smiled and then tears misted her eyes. "He became my big brother... He was there when I received this gift of mine."
"You mean the telepathy?" Kassia asked.
"Yes," Tara replied. "We both barely made it back from that particular mission. But he and Jen were telepathic as well. Only that gift had been bestowed upon them by their Taelon Companion. Jen, James and their Companion Ra'el along with Da'an and Na'ar were all part of the Ta'az..."
"And that brought you into it," she said.
Tara nodded.
"And what about Ron Sandoval? Is that the father of your baby?" Kassia asked looking at Tara's large abdomen.
"Yes," she replied, "And that's a story inside itself. I had always thought Ron's MI was working. He was always acting obsessive and abrasive. Then one day I accidentally brushed up against him and I was hit by all these feelings he had... I had thought of nothing except maybe befriending him. Only Zo'or had other ideas in mind for us. He set us up for an experiment of his dealing with Pheromones. The next thing I knew Ron and I were together... intimately," she explained, her cheeks tinting a soft pink. "What made things more complicated was we didn't know this at first. It was already too late for me. I began having feelings for him. And he had feelings for me as well. But I was actually seeing Ryan at the time... So when I first became pregnant I wasn't sure who the father was. For awhile I didn't want to know. Then because of the stress it was causing me, I had to know... "
"And Ryan seems to be okay with all of this," Kassia asked with a bit of surprise.
"Well, at first he wasn't," Tara replied. "But I gave him an option. Either he could take a transfer and remember our relationship forever. Or he could allow me to alter his memory and he could remain as my assistant and pilot. He chose to have me alter his memory. All he knows now is that we have always been very close friends."
"And you were able to manipulate his memory just like that?"
"Yes," Tara answered, "It's apparently one of my gifts. But I wouldn't have done it, had he not agreed to it."
"Have you used it any other time?"
"Only when someone from the Resistance or the Ta'az was in danger," she replied.
"Fair enough," Kassia answered with a smile. "Tara, I know things are very difficult for you here. I can sense that you are having trouble coping with being here in this new environment, but mostly its away from almost everyone you care about. But you have to find a way to bring yourself some closure. Whether it's through a hobby or keeping a journal... Somehow you have to do this, or its going to eat you up inside... And believe me, no one here wants to see that happen to you."
"I'm not sure how to get closure," Tara replied.
"All I can do is make suggestions. Ultimately you have to find what works for you... and I hope you do. I think you could actually be happy here once you grieve."
Tara ventured a soft, sad smile.
Ryan had met Tara after her counseling session on the Promenade and grab dinner. They talked and he could tell she was still not doing too well. They talked about the station and all the new things they had seen, but all Tara really wanted to do was go back to her quarters and lay down. After dinner and some conversation, that's exactly what she did. Ryan understood and let her rest. He returned to the Promenade to do some more browsing and maybe some Christmas shopping.
Tara walked through the mists. It was the worst fog she had been in. It was a lot like trying to see through smoke only it wasn't choking her. Suddenly it thinned out and she found herself on top of a grassy hill overlooking a beautiful valley. Just as she was about to sit down on the grass, she felt a presence. She turned around and found that she wasn't alone. She saw Grace, Jennifer, James and Ron. A smile lit her face as a joyful laugh escaped her. They seemed to be looking around in confusion and then at her. But as they saw her their eyes grew wide with surprise. James was the first to go to her.
"Tara, is that really you?" he asked.
She nodded. "Yes, it is!" she replied, laughing as he immediately enveloped her in a bearhug.
"Girl, we thought you were dead!" he said, as he fought back his emotions.
"I know..." she replied.
Grace and Jen came up to her and embraced her warmly. "All we knew was that one moment you and Ryan were fine and the next the shuttle was gone," Grace replied. "Searches were sent out, but no one figured out what had happened to you."
"It's a bit of a strange story, I'm afraid. Ryan and I are in another dimension," she said. "But we're safe... and there are no Taelons here."
"It's good to hear you're safe," Jen said. "We were all heartbroken when we thought you were dead..." Her eyes wandered to Ron who hadn't come to her yet.
Tara smiled softly and wandered over to Ron.
"Are you real?" he asked. "Or are you just an illusion my heart wants to see?"
"I'm real," she replied. "I'm so real... I'm alive, Ron..."
Tenderly he reached out and she felt his touch against her cheek. Then his fingers as they entwined in her hair. Gently he pulled her into his embrace, kissing her almost in tears. "I thought you and the baby were dead... It just about killed me..."
"Being away from you has been doing the same thing to me," Tara said as she touched his face.
"Tell me, you say there are no Taelons where you are?" he asked.
"None," she replied.
"And it's safe there?" he asked.
"Yes..." she said, "Here many species of aliens live together throughout space, along with humans. Humans are equal, not like how we are with the Taelons."
"Then that's where you have to stay," he said, matter-of-factly. "Even if you could find a way back." She could feel his heart aching. "There you and our daughter will be safe. She can have a decent life. She might not get that here..."
"But--"
"Zo'or would do anything to hurt us... and he's had an eye on our child. He had plans for her, though I don't know what," he said. "I would rather spend my life without you and know you're both safe than risk you both here."
At that, the tears came for both of them.
"It's for the best," he said. "And I'll always love you and our daughter..."
As their lips met once more, she suddenly felt alone. Her eyes opened and she was in the field alone. But she wasn't alone. There was another presence with her. One that was even more familiar.
"You must know this being where you are is what's best," came a soft melodious voice from behind her.
She turned to see Ta'al. She smiled. "Its good to know you're still with me."
"I will always be with you," he said. "For we are... bonded... family."
Her smile softened. "What about my friends... what about Ron? Will they be all right?" she asked.
"They now know you are alive. They will go on knowing that you live and that will be enough for them," Ta'al answered.
"But isn't this just a dream?" she asked.
"Is it?" he replied.
In an alternate dimension Jennifer Christian suddenly found herself awake. She was stunned by the clarity of the dream she'd just had. No sooner than she'd moved, she felt James stir.
"Are you awake?" He asked.
"Yes," she replied, "I just had the most incredible dream..."
"Wait, did it have Tara in it?"
"Yeah, how did you know?"
"This is going to sound crazy, but did she say she was alive in another dimension?" he asked.
Jen turned on the light and looked at him. "That's exactly what she said..."
Suddenly James global sounded. He answered it and found Grace staring back at him.
"I'm sorry to bother you at this late hour, but I had to talk to someone," she said.
"Let me guess," he replied. "You had a dream about Tara?"
"How did you know?"
"Lucky guess," he smirked.
Ron Sandoval had woken up and found himself unable to go back to sleep. He gazed at the photo of Tara that he had. How beautiful she was... He so wanted her to be alive that now his mind had started to dream about her. He studied her face and took in all the details of how the light was hitting her eyes at that moment. Then his mind began wandering through the times they had shared together. He was hard to believe she was gone... Suddenly, his global chirped. He grabbed it. As he opened it he saw Grace's face.
"Grace, what can I do for you?" he said, barely able to keep the emotion from his face.
"You had a dream about Tara, did you?"
His brow furrowed. "How could you have known that?"
"Ron, listen to me, Jen, James and I all had the same dream. I'm guessing you had it too since you were there... She's alive! That dream wasn't just a dream! She really is alive with Ryan in an alternate dimension!"
"Do you really believe that's possible?" he asked, still not believing.
"Did it feel like a dream to you, or did it feel real?" she asked.
As he looked into her almond eyes, he knew the truth. He had touched Tara... Had kissed her. Tara and the baby were alive and safe... He smiled.
"I thought so," she said. "You did the right thing tell her to stay..."
"I know," he replied. "I love her... What else could I do?"
Tara awoke and for the first time since her arrival on the station she felt good. She felt almost at peace. She immediately felt her daughter start kicking her and her rubbed her belly.
"I'll feed you in a moment, little one," she smiled. "You have to let mum wake up a bit first."
As she got up finally, she headed to the replicator. She got herself eggs, ham, toast and juice. Just as she finished, she got dressed. Suddenly, as she was emerging from her room, the door opened and in walked Ryan.
"Good morning," she greeted with a smile.
Ryan stopped dead in his tracks. She looked like her old self. "You seem happy today."
"I awoke and feel fantastic today," she replied.
"You're okay?" he asked.
She noted the worried look on his face and went to him. Gently she cupped his face with her hands and looked into his aqua eyes. "I promise you, I'm much better than I have been."
"And why is that?" he asked.
A smirk came to her face. "You'll laugh if I tell you," she replied.
"Try me," he said.
"I had the most amazing dream!"