Katianna had docked the Seth at SB901 in its usual berth and entered the Starbase. She spoke to no one as she made her way through the corridors, holding her side as she walked. She was in pain, but it almost didn't bother her. She felt numb otherwise. She had cried for most of the way back to SB901 and now she just felt hollowed out. Yet she could feel the grief. It was there. Lurking just under the surface. She knew the tears would come back at some point, but for now she felt so numb, as if nothing could touch her. Not anything... not even the pain in her ribs, which she was sure at least one was broken. She hadn't bothered running a scan on the Seth. She could have, but she didn't see the point. She hadn't wanted to do anything. Not even about the cut on her arm, which she barely swabbed and covered. It was taking most of her strength to walk to sickbay.
As she arrived, she was escorted to a biobed. Immediately, a medic came up to her. Her eyes, however, were on the floor. Her mind was static... Just as numb as her heart.
"What can I help you with, Commander Na- Katianna?" came the male voice with a bit of surprise.
Slowly she looked up, her green eyes almost blank as she took a breath in, but winced with pain. She saw that her medic was a Bajoran male, blond hair and grey eyes, who wore old-fashioned glasses. It was her friend, Toren Len. She tried to smiled, but couldn't.
"Katianna, you look awful," he said. "What happened?"
She shook her head. "Just a run-in with a bad guy," she said as suddenly tears came unbidden to her eyes. But they quickly went away. "I think I have a broken rib or two," she added as she gently touched the side that hurt.
Quickly Len used the medical tricorder and scanned her. He nodded. "Yep," he replied, "You have two broken ribs and several are bruised. What happened? Looks like you got knocked around by a Naussican or two."
"Try a demon..." she sighed under her breath and shook her head.
"What?" he asked with concern.
"Naussicans I can handle," Katianna replied. "What I went up against... " For a moment, she could feel her emotions coming back again. As they came back the ache from her ribs became worse. Reality was coming back to her. She shook her head. "Can you give me something for the pain?" she asked.
"Yeah, definitely!" he replied. "I'm surprised you weren't asking as soon as you walked through the doors!"
Immediately he walked away and returned with a hypospray a few moments later.
"This will take the pain away. Don't worry, I've double checked this with your Tanzaran physiology. It's okay."
She nodded and he administered the drug. Instantly the pain began to ebb away.
"So what was that you were saying before you had me get the pain medication?"
"You aren't distracted easily, are you?" she asked as their eyes met.
"With friends in pain?" he asked. "Nope... Are you ready to talk about it?"
She looked away and shook her head. "I can't..."
"Is it about Jovo?"
This time the tears did come, but she didn't speak. The pain started coming again, along with the sadness and guilt... But she pushed them away. She wasn't going to break down. Not here. She wiped at the tears on her cheeks. "Jovo is dead," she said matter-of-factly.
He looked at her, concern going into his eyes. "Wha-who... What happened?" he asked.
She shook her head. "Jovo's been dead for awhile," she said.
"Then who woke up in this sickbay?"
Quietly she replied. "It wasn't Jovo... Can you please fix my ribs and let me get out of here?"
He looked into her watery green eyes and saw the pain there. He wasn't up to pushing anymore questions on her. He nodded. "Okay... But if you need to talk..."
She nodded. "Thank you..." she replied, knowing that this might be something she would be unable to share. "And remember Patient/Doctor privliedge..."
"Of course," he replied, feeling that he wasn't going to divulge her secret to anyone anyway. "Are you going to tell the Captain what happened?"
She was quiet for a moment. "I'll tell her only what she needs to know... She has enough on her plate as it is..."
The dispair in her eyes was enough to quiet his questions. He stepped away to gather what he needed. When he returned, there was emptiness in her eyes. He sighed inwardly wishing there was something he could do for her. But his skills were relugated to the physical body, not the mental one. But he was worried. Katianna was a strong woman. He knew her well enough to know that and he knew what was happening. She was pushing her emotions away. But when a person did that sooner or later the emotions came out and usually in a torrent... Would she be strong enough to handle that, he wondered? Either way, he'd be there for her if he could be.
Gently she touched his hand and looked into his eyes. "I'll be okay, Len... I will..." she said, more to convince herself than to convince him.