After more than a century in Starfleet in two different realities, Captain Sapek was looking forward to retirement and a posting at the Vulcan Science Academy. The research he had conducted while in the Large Magellanic Cloud was certain to revolutionize the Federation. The data obtained from the LMC Commune had the potential to make trans-stream and slip-comm more than just whispered rumors or highly classified prototypes. At last, distant Federation members such as the Kirusans would be able to enjoy a close connection with the core sectors. And Starfleet would be able to respond practically instantaneously to any threat, anywhere.
But this was not to be, at least not yet. Sapek had gotten the summons to Captain Mallory's office almost as soon as he awoke that morning. Tasia had likewise been summoned. Apparently Starfleet had another assignment for them...
Sapek tried to focus himself as he chimed the Captain's door. "Relax," Tasia said, touching his elbow gently. "It's not as though you're going to your execution!"
He sighed. Losing the opportunity to finish his research was tantamount to an execution. The door slid open, and they entered.
"Good morning, Captain, Commander," Kitty said graciously. "Have a seat, why don't you?"
They took seats before her desk. "It's my understanding that Starfleet has reassigned us," Sapek stated, immediately getting to the point.
I see why they picked him, Kitty thought happily. "Starfleet has accepted your retirement," Kitty replied. "In fact, they've done one better," she said, handing him a PADD.
Sapek scanned the PADD. "I've been retired as a Commodore!" he exclaimed. "Wait--if I've been retired, how can I be reassigned?"
"Your name was submitted to the Federation Senate and the Federation Diplomatic Corps, and after great consideration, you've been named the Federation's Ambassador to the Mulluran Empire," Kitty replied. "Congratulations, Ambassador!" she said, extending her hand to Sapek.
Sapek shook the outstretched hand. "Thank you, I guess," he said.
"Don't thank me yet. This is probably the toughest current diplomatic assignment there is. The Mullurans are ordinarily very bull-headed and disagreeable; the current regime moreso. Just keep them talking and if you find people with whom we can reason, by all means do the reasoning! Keep reading," Kitty prompted.
Sapek scanned the PADD further. "You'll find this of interest, Tasia," he said with a smile as he handed the PADD to his consort and long-time first officer.
Tasia read the PADD. "I've been appointed military attache?" she asked. Kitty nodded her head.
"The Diplomatic Corps was looking for a reliable team. Who better than a team that's been proven for nearly twenty years?"
Tasia smiled. She smiled even more when she found that she, too, had been retired at a higher rank. Then...
"Sapek, I think your worries are unfounded," Tasia smiled as she handed the PADD back to him.
Sapek read the PADD. "At the conclusion of the diplomatic assignment, Ambassador Sapek shall be reassigned to Vulcan, where he shall take on the role of Associate Chancellor of the Vulcan Science Academy--who pulled these strings?" he asked incredulously.
"Starfleet persuaded the Diplomatic Corps that you might need some inducement to accept the post," Kitty replied. "You're free to continue your research, incidentally, provided adequate security measures are taken."
"Do we have a security detail yet?" Tasia asked.
"The Mulluran embassy to the Federation stands at three members. Customarily, we would only send three diplomats to them. The third spot is as yet unoccupied. They figured you would want to choose your own staff."
"Then I know just who we're picking." Sapek nodded in agreement.
"Send your recommendation to the Diplomatic Corps and to Starfleet if necessary," Kitty said. "A diplomatic packet will take you to Mullura in ten days, pending arrangements at their end."
"Glorious Leader, a message from the Federation's Diplomatic Corps," an aide to Francona announced.
"They've surrendered so soon?" Francona responded, to much laughter. Francona could have come up with yet another reason why the chicken crossed the road and the entire room would have laughed hysterically--if they valued their health. "Send it to my screen, and everyone leave my office!"
The office, including Francona's guards, vacated immediately as Francona opened the message. He frowned as he read it. The message contained Sapek's and Tasia's credentials as diplomatic staff. Unlike us, the Federation actually uses people who have some qualifications as diplomats. They actually believe we're willing to talk...
Francona bellowed for a clerk. "Take a message for me," he ordered. "Transmit this message to the Federation outpost at the Gate of Heaven--Starbase 901 I believe it's called."
"You're not going to believe this!" a yeoman announced to Mallory.
"What won't I believe, after everything we've seen so far?" Kitty asked as she strode over to the comm station.
"You've just gotten a letter from Generalissimo Francona!"
"Really? And I thought he'd never respond to my advances!" Kitty said off-the-cuff. Everyone on the Command Deck laughed--but not out of fear of execution. "Send it to my office."
Kitty opened the message at her personal terminal.
ATTENTION FEDERATION CAPTAIN MALLORY:
WE PERSONALLY WISH TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU FOR THE RECENT OUTRAGE PERPETRATED BY OUR AMBASSADOR. REMAIN ASSURED THAT AMBASSADOR MALLORY HAS BEEN DISCIPLINED FOR THE INCIDENTS IN QUESTION AND THAT FURTHER INCIDENTS WILL NOT HAPPEN.
WE ALSO ACCEPT THE CREDENTIALS OF AMBASSADOR SAPEK AND DEPUTY AMBASSADOR TADANNI. DETAILS ON LOCATION AND NATURE OF LEGATION TO FOLLOW DIRECTLY TO AMBASSADOR SAPEK FROM OUR STAFF.
WE HAVE THE HONOR TO REMAIN, GENERALISSIMO A'DAL FRANCONA GLORIOUS ETERNAL LEADER OF THE MULLURAN EMPIRE
Kitty groaned at the officiousness of the letter, right down to the imperial 'We' and use of the most grandiose title possible. The apology didn't come with any direct action on his part, but it is amusing to know that even a fascist murdering bastard like Francona doesn't like dealing with Jonas! she thought.
It was the best laugh she'd had all day.