[MARCH 16]
As the Seth settled back in its berth on SB901 Katianna finally emerged from the quarters. Kassia and Tara looked at her carefully. They could feel her emotions as clear as day. She wasn't blocking them yet, but trying to. Though she had cleaned herself up, she still looked a mess. Her auburn hair was still a bit wild, her skin seemed pale . . . She just looked haggard. But she wouldn't admit to it. As she met their looks, she raised her eyebrows.
"I'm fine," she said as she straightened her uniform.
"Katianna, you are not fine. I can feel it," Kassia replied. "We can both feel it." She motioned to Tara.
"And you don't look well," Tara replied.
"Well, I did just go up against two demons. Watched nine people die in front of me . . ." she said as her voice cracked. The memory of Coran dying in her arms was the hardest to take. "I almost died," she added. "I don't imagine I would l look pretty." Though there were tears misting her green eyes, there was a hardness in them as well.
"If you want to talk about -" Kassia tried to offer, but was cut short.
"I don't want to talk about it," Katianna said quickly. "I'm sorry. I know you two mean well. But right now, I just want to be alone . . . I just . . . " She shook her head unable to voice her thoughts and walked off.
"That's not good," Tara said softly to Kassia.
"No, it's not," Kassia conceded, not knowing just how Katianna was going to pull out of this. It looked like she had been rescued from demons only to find herself in hell.
Katianna stood outside the door to her quarters for several minutes debating whether to go in. There was something that just ached inside her chest as she stood there. As much as she wanted to see her kids, she didn't want to either. As if it would hurt her to do so. As if finally all the death she'd seen had finally polluted her. That somehow the death was going to follow her. Certainly the visions had. As she reached for the sensor to log in her code, a vision of Kalimar breaking Levi's neck came to her mind and her hand pulled away. She shook her head and took a deep breath trying to pull herself together. Finally, feeling she was composed and that she had her feelings relatively blocked, she keyed in her entry.
As the door swished open, Laurissa was playing with Daniel on the floor. He was on his back and had just rolled over. Katianna smiled, but it was bittersweet. She wanted to so enjoy the moment. Her son was rolling over, probably for the first time. But she just felt numb. As they saw her, they smiled.
"Momma!!" Laurissa cried as she saw her. She got up and ran to Katianna, flinging her arms around her mother and hugged her as tightly as her little arms could. "I was scared the demon got you!"
Katianna knelt before her daughter and caressed her face. "It takes a lot more to kill your mother, sweetie. "
Laurissa immediately sensed something was wrong. "Momma . . . you don't feel okay."
Katianna took a deep breath to try to reign in all the emotions that suddenly welled up. "I'm all right," she reassured her daughter, kissing her cheek. "I'm just . . . tired," she said with as much of a smile as she could muster.
Suddenly Kara appeared from the back room with Laurissa's bag for school. She saw Katianna and stopped short. "You've returned," she said with a smile.
Kat nodded, though even as the words fell from Kara's lips, visions of the battle in the fire caves came to mind. She quelled them as quickly as possible. "Yes, I was the lucky one," she replied.
Kara sensed something was wrong and looked away for a moment. "It is still good to have you safely returned," she said with a gentle bow. "I should get Laurissa to school now . . . Unless, of course, you would like to take her yourself," Kara offered.
Kat looked into her daughter's hopeful face and part of her wanted to, but she just wasn't up for socializing with the teacher and the other parents. "I'm sorry. I have to write my report for Captain Mallory." Laurissa was visibly disappointed, but Katianna embraced her, kissing her forehead. "I love you and nothing is ever going to change that," she said. "There are just some things I have to do right now. Okay?"
Laurissa looked at her mother with her green eyes and her beautiful, little face framed by spots and nodded.
Tenderly Katianna caressed her face. "Time to get to school, little one."
"Okay, Momma," she said, reluctantly getting out of her mother's arms.
She looked at her mother and Katianna knew her daughter was concerned. Her heart squeezed. No child should have to worry about their parent. Not like this and not one as young as Laurissa . . . Katianna tenderly picked up Daniel in her arms and caressed his cheeks. He was unusually quiet as he seemed to gaze through her to her soul. It unsettled her. Tenderly she caressed his face and kissed his cheek as she placed him in his stroller.
"I love you too, Boo," she said as she touched his little nose.
He gurgled in replied.
"Are you sure you do not want to take the children?" Kara asked, sensing that maybe it might be a good thing for her.
"I'm positive. I really have to get this report done," she replied. It was true, but she was stretching the truth just a bit. She realistically could have walked Laurissa to school, but part of her just couldn't. She wanted to see as few people as possible. At least at the moment . . .
With a smile and nod, and a kiss from Laurissa, Kara and the kids were out the door. Katianna started toward the shower. She wanted to shower for a long time to try to remove some of the dirt and grime she felt. But she was sure some of it was too deep inside her to come off.
After a very hot shower, she dried off and started toward her room, but stopped short. Memories of her and Kalimar in the bed together crashed into her mind followed by his striking the fetal blow to Coran. Tears misted her eyes. Instead of opting for a real uniform, she shifted into one and left the quarters as fast as she could manage.
Katianna ordered a Raktajino and sat down at the desk in her office. She took a sip of the strong Klingon coffee and tried to figure out how to start her report. She grabbed a PADD and tried to begin. But every sentence she wrote brought another piercing memory. She stopped before she finished the first paragraph shaking her head and placing her face in her hands with a sigh. The memories were so intense as they went crashing through her mind. As she remember Coran dying in her arms, she let out a soft sob, but reigned it in quickly. She was a Starfleet Intelligence Officer. She was on duty. She had to get a grip, she told herself. Just as she was trying to get back to her report, she felt a presence enter her office.
"Commander, I have some reports here on the Mulluran activities I thought you might like to look at," the young man's voice said.
Without looking up, she knew it was Lt. Hartford, the newest of the Intel Officers.
"Lieutenant, I believe Captain Mallory gave you that job, did she not?" Katianna replied.
"Well, yes, but I'm also suppose to report to you," he replied. "When you're available," he added.
She shook her head as she looked up at him and into his blue eyes. "Leave them on my desk. I'll have to look at them later. I'm in the middle of a report."
"Yes, ma'am," he replied, as he placed the PADDs on the table and started to leave. He then turned and looked at her once more, taking in her full appearance.
"Is there something else I can help you with, Lieutenant?" Katianna asked a bit annoyed.
"Are you all right?" he asked with what felt to her as genuine concern.
She sighed. "I'm fine," she replied. "I'm just tired. I just need everyone to leave me alone for awhile!"
Hartford looked at her and seemed a bit puzzled as if he knew there was more to it. He seemed to sense it. But he didn't say anything else.
"I guess your last mission was tough?" he asked.
She met his gaze. "Yes," she replied, her eyes green marble. "And it's something I don't wish to talk about."
He nodded. "Then I guess I'd better get back to work," he replied with a smile.
"Dismissed," Katianna said almost with relief, but as she looked at the PADD and the report she was suppose to write she threw it onto her desk and shook her head. How was she going to write it?
Captain Mallory sat at her desk as she looked at Lt. Kassia and CWO Tara Carmichael who stood before her. She shook her head.
"You two might have asked before using the Transtream Pad," Kitty said with a hint of harshness in her voice. "There are procedures here. You are officers, you know."
"Captain, it wasn't like we had a lot of time," Kassia replied.
"No one has even used that Pad before," Kitty went on.
"Well, now you know it works," Tara offered.
Kitty shook her head. "Yes, now we know it works. But there seems to be a lack in the chain of command here. No one is telling me what's going on!" Kitty was visibly upset.
"Captain," Kassia replied, "If Tara and I hadn't have used the Transtream Pad right then and there Commander Katianna Nadira would be dead. As it is, we arrived too late to save anyone else . . . We tried to save Coran, the leader of the Order of the Light, but he died on the Seth."
"What happened to his body then?" Kitty asked.
Both Kassia and Tara looked at each other. Then they looked back toward Captain Mallory once again.
"Commander Nadira insisted we stop on Bajor and bury the body," Tara replied, matter-of-factly.
Kitty raised her eyebrows.
Katianna walked around the Promenade, but avoided Kassia's shop. She didn't want to take the chance of running into her. She couldn't stay in her office and face that report. She felt like she couldn't go home either, so all she could do was walk. She found herself at the Arboretum and tried to relax on one of the benches, but the sounds of the children playing were too much for her. The sounds were loud and piercing. She quickly wandered off. By the time she realized how late it was, she made her way back home. Kara had already laid dinner out on the table. She felt Daniel was asleep, but as she walked further into her quarters, she felt him stir until he woke up.
"I'm sorry I'm so late," she said.
Kara smiled. "You are a busy woman," she replied. "But your children did miss you."
Laurissa smiled. "Yes, I did!" she agreed nodding her head up and down.
Katianna smirked at her daughter as she went to Daniel and picked him up. "How's momma's, baby?" she asked, but again he was just unusually silent. He just gazed at her.
"He's worried about you," Laurissa piped in. "He says that there are dark things you're trying to hide."
"Okay, that's enough, Laurissa," Katianna said, stopping her daughter gently, with a smile she faked well. Tenderly she caressed Daniel's face and kissed him. "There's nothing to worry about. Okay? Momma's fine."
Laurissa looked at her with her piercing four year old gaze and replied. "He says, no you're not."
Katianna looked at her son and her daughter, not knowing what to say.
As she fed, bathed and changed Daniel and rocked him to sleep, she put him to bed in his crib and moved on to Laurissa. She helped her daughter bathe and get ready for bed. As she wiggled into her nightgown she insisted on a story. One about a princess trapped by a dragon, and a knight had to rescue her. Something about the fire-breathing triggered the memories in the fire caves for Kat. She tried to block them so they wouldn't leak out to her daughter and she did as good of a job as she could for that moment, though once or twice she caught an odd look on Laurissa's face.
"Are you okay, honey?" she asked as she put the book away.
"When you were reading about the fire the dragon breathed out, I actually saw fire in my mind . . . Only, it wasn't a dragon breathing it . . . It was more like . . . I don't know . . . Just there . . . Like it was alive," Laurissa tried to explain.
"Well, don't concern yourself with that," Katianna said as she embraced her daughter warmly and kissed her forehead.
"Is that what you saw? Is that the demons?" Laurissa asked.
Katianna laid her down in bed and covered her. "Laurissa, that was just fire and even if it weren't, the demons can't hurt us here. Not with their magic. Not with fire . . . We're okay. We're safe. All right?"
Laurissa nodded gently. "All right . . ."
Katianna kissed her daughter's forehead. "Good. Now, goodnight and sleep tight."
"Don't let the bedbugs bite!" Laurissa giggled.
Katianna smiled. As she left the room, she called for the computer to turn down the lights.
As she walked into the other room, she saw Kara sitting on the couch enjoying a cup of tea and tried to smile, but she was restless and began to pace bit. She would go one direction thinking of doing one thing then change her mind and do the same thing else where. Finally, she was just walking around. Almost making a circle.
"Katianna, would you care for some tea? It's most calming," Kara offered.
"No, no thank you . . ." she replied. "I, uh, I have to get out of here. I can't stay here right now . . ."
"What's wrong?" she tried to ask. But before she even finished the question the door was open and Katianna was gone in a blur.
Kat didn't walk, she ran down the corridor. Halfway there, she shifted into a black cat and kept going. She didn't care where she went as long as she was at a run. But somehow she had ended up on the turbolift to the look of several surprised passengers. As the turbolift stopped at the Promenade level she got out, still as a feline, and made her way around. All she wanted to do was escape the horror of what she'd seen and what's she'd experienced. She knew there were people that saw far worst carnage than she did. But there was something about going up against a demon. You just felt vulnerable. You felt like nothing . . . and then to find out that you had slept with him . . . She shuddered as the memory hit her again. As she reached Soma, she shifted back onto herself, but instead of a uniform, she wore tight black pants and a tight black shirt that bared her midriff and came low across her chest. The music was loud and the beat was good. She went to the bar and saw Troy there. She smiled.
"Well, fancy meeting you here," she said.
"Yeah, well, I do work here," he smirked. "What about you?"
"I want the strongest stuff you got and I want you to keep pouring it," she with a determined smile. "Do you have a problem with that?" she asked playfully daring him to argue.
"Well, no, ma'am," he replied with a smile as he got her the drink. "Are you okay?" he asked her as he took in her appearance. He had seen Katianna on other occasions and she just didn't look like herself.
She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Troy, I'm just tired," she said, using the same excuse she'd been using. "That's all."
"Right . . ." was his replied, in a voice that distinctly told her he didn't believe her. "If you ever want to really talk about it, there's no one better than your bartender!"
She smirked as she downed her drink in almost one huge gulp. "Well, bartender, why don't you just keep the drinks coming and I'll think about doing some talking."
Troy shook his head as he smiled and got her another. "Take it easy. Enough of these and you'll end up under the bar."
"How do you know that's not where I want to be?" she fired back with her smart smile.
"All right," he replied, with a gentle laugh. "It's your stomach."
As another patron got his attention, she drank her second one down. Before she could ask for a third, a young man came over and invited her to dance. The music was loud, the beat fast and the place itself was dark except for swirling lights. On the floor, she felt his hands on her waist briefly, but most of the time they just danced beside each other. When the beat changed to something slower and he pulled her toward him, she grabbed his arm and spun out of his embrace.
"Not tonight, babe. I have a headache," she said and returned to the bar where Troy brought her a third drink. After that, she downed yet another and then another.
Troy was amazed. "You know, most men I know would have been unconscious by now," he said.
"How many drank with Klingons?" she smirked. "I even challenged a few to a drinking contest once!" She said very proud of that fact for the moment.
"Who won?" he asked.
She stopped and thought for a moment, a bit puzzled. "I don't know . . . I don't remember . . . I think it was a draw. They liked me though!" she smiled.
Troy was getting amused by this story. "And so what happened?" he asked, his dark eyes piercing her.
"Oh! Well . . ." she answered, her nose wrinkling at the memory. "I woke up in the brig. But I didn't stay there or anything. I was just there until I woke up. But then I had to face two Commanding officers. Mine and the Station's that I was on . . . They weren't very happy with me." She shrugged her shoulders. "Ah well," she smiled. "I made a special friend that trip too . . ." she said as she thought of Julian. "Anyway," she said as she finished her drink. "I will take one more and then I will leave you . . ."
"Are you sure you won't end up under the bar? I don't want to have to carry you home!" he laughed.
She laughed. "NO! You won't have to! I'll be fine!"
"Okay, if you say so," he replied and got her the last drink.
She sipped it for awhile and then finally just downed it. "Now, I shall see you later!" she said as she waved at Troy and smiled with a giggled. She sort of stumbled and could hardly walk straight, but she managed. From the entry at Soma, she turned toward the bar where she knew Troy was still watching her and blew him a kiss. He laughed and shook his head again.
She made her way down the Promenade slowly and occasionally bumping into the bulkheads. Then she suddenly felt a presence behind her. She was drunk, but after having been jumped as many times she had been some things just never got turned off, like telepathic radar. Letting the person get just close enough to her, she turned around, grabbed him, threw him against the bulkhead and immediately had her hand ready to deliver a palm-heel to his face only to realize it was Toren Len. She immediately let him go.
"LEN?!" she said. "I could have just killed you! Do you realize that??"
"I just wanted to make sure you got back home okay," Len replied. "Damn you're strong!"
"Yeah, well . . . Comes with the territory," she replied. "Being able to kick ass is necessary, even if you're a shape-shifter." She got a bit light headed and as she began to stumble, he caught her.
"Woah there," he said. "Looks like I did come along just in time."
"Well . . . maybe . . ." she conceded, thinking of being found by some shopkeeper unconscious in the middle of the Promenade. Now that would be something to explain to the Captain, she thought!
He guided her to the turbolift and got her to her quarters. She keyed in the code and the door opened.
"Okay, lets get you to bed," he said. But as he tried to take her to her bedroom, she stopped him.
"I can't," she said and suddenly she began to cry. "I can't go in there . . . I can't, I just . . . I just can't . . ." Suddenly she just melted into his arms.
"It's okay," he said, holding her, totally surprised by this. "What's wrong? Why can't you go in there?"
Visions of her with Kalimar haunted her now. She couldn't escape it. No matter what she did during the day or night to forget she still had to face that room and that bed.
Toren Len guided her to the couch and held her. "Why, Katianna? What is it?"
"I can't . . . That room . . . It should have been for Jovo and I . . . Instead . . ." With that, more tears came followed by soft sobs. "Instead there was a demon sharing it with me . . . A demon who just killed nine people in front of me. Who just released another demon that I couldn't prevent him from doing and who almost killed me again . . . " She shook her head. "I can't go in there. I can't . . ."
"Shhhhhhh," he replied as he gently just held her. "It's okay. Everything is all right for the moment. Don't think about more than that."
As she finally relaxed, he carefully laid her down on the couch and retrieved a blanket and covered her. Before he was done, she was asleep. The look on his face was grave. He was more than concerned. Tenderly, he touched her hair and then left her to sleep.
[MARCH 17]
Katianna awoke on the couch, a clear vision of Kalimar and the Kosst Amojen in her mind as they had made ready to seal her fate. She took a breath to steady her nerves and ran a hand through her damp hair. She looked around the room and vaguely remembered Len bringing her home. Her head ached slightly, but the pain wasn't bad. She wandered over to the replicator and ordered up a mild pain reliever and a glass of water. As she took it, throwing her head back, she felt Laurissa's presence.
"Momma, why did you sleep on the couch?" she asked with her big green eyes gazing at her mother.
Katianna sighed and went to Laurissa. As she knelt down in front of her, she caressed the girl's face and kissed her. "Because I just fell asleep out here. That's all," she said, trying to sound as honest as possible.
Laurissa looked troubled and shook her head. "That's not it," she replied.
"And how do you know?" Kat replied curiously..
Laurissa just shrugged her shoulders. "Because I do," she replied.
"Don't worry so much, Little one," Katianna said as she kissed her again, scooping her into her arms. "Everything will be okay . . . Momma will make sure of it . . . somehow . . ." she added quietly.
"Now explain to me why there is no report on my desk, Commander," Captain Mallory said as she looked at Katianna Nadira. "You did tell me yesterday that I would have it today." She was firm and there was an edge in her voice, but no harshness. After reading Kassia and Tara's reports she had expected that Katianna's report might be late due to what they had witnessed and what they knew of events. But she wanted the formal explanation. There were two reasons for this. One was to try to re-establish chain of command once again, and two, to show that she was concerned with what was going on. Particularly with what was going on with her officers - her friends.
"Captain . . . I just . . . haven't been able to . . . put it in words just yet," Katianna finally said. "There's so much that happened and trying to write it all down is a bit complicated."
Kitty knew that wasn't the case. "Katianna, you and I both know you've written up things a bit more complicated than this before. Care to share with me what's on your mind?" she asked. She could sense Katianna's emotions barely contained under the surface.
"Not particularly, Captain. No," she said, trying not to show any emotion, though she could feel her eyes mist for a moment. Though she pushed her emotions away, she was unable to stop the visions. So much of that fight replayed in her mind.
Kitty began sensing what Katianna was feeling and nodded. "All right, Commander. I'm going to give you until the end of the week to finish the report. By that time, I also want you to make an appointment to see Lt. Kassia."
Surprise entered Kat's eyes, "But, Captain!"
"I feel it's in your best interests to have a chat with the counselor," she said. "It's my job . . . and if it makes you feel any better, I was in your position, in so much as I didn't want to speak to a counselor. But I did."
"And did it help?" Katianna asked, already knowing the answer.
Kitty smirked. "No," she replied. "But I didn't have a counselor who was also my friend. Not until the end. You just have to be willing to want to be helped."
"I appreciate what you're doing, but I just can't do that," she replied. "Not right now."
"Well, either way, I want you to see her this week and that's an order, not a request. Understood?" Kitty asked her.
"Understood, Captain," Katianna replied, unhappily.
Kassia and Tara had needed a quiet lunch together to talk and they had agreed on Harry's. Maybe not the quietest of establishments, but certainly not one of the noisiest either. They picked a booth and sat down. Immediately the waitress was there to take their drink orders. She brought their drinks quickly. After making their selections from the menu they ordered. The waitress took the order and left.
"So how have you been doing?" Kassia asked, as Tara took a sip of her drink.
"Well, I think I'm adjusting slowly to the idea that you and I have gone up against demons," Tara smirked softly and shook her head. "But it's been a bit of an adjustment."
"I can imagine," Kassia replied. "Guess we've all been through a few surprises lately," she said thinking about her own personal revelations.
They were quiet as the food arrived, not wanting ears to perk up at their conversation. As soon as the waitress moved off again, Tara looked at Kassia.
"Have you seen Katianna?" Tara asked with a gentle, British lilt.
Kassia shook her head and took a breath. "She's avoiding me," Kassia replied matter-of-factly.
"Why would she do that?" Tara asked a bit mystified.
"The memories of what happened are still too strong and I'm a reminder of what's just happened. On top of that, I know what she's feeling and she knows that. It scares her to have someone else know what's going on in her mind when she doesn't have a grasp on it," Kassia explained. "She also feels a little guilty for how she reacted to us on the Seth," she added gently.
Understanding went into Tara's eyes as all of the information sunk in. "I see . . . But she has no reason to feel guilty. Certainly I understand what she was feeling -"
"So do I," Kassia replied, "But she hasn't come to terms with it. Until she does, things are not going to get better. In fact, things will get much darker for her, before she sees the dawn, unless she can find some path to peace."
"Isn't there anything you can do?" Tara asked.
"I'm not sure," Kassia replied. "There's so much she's facing right now. I can only guide her, if she'll let me . . . But I'll check my shop. Maybe there's something there that can help."
"Do you think she'll let us back in?" Tara asked, finally taking a bite of her salad.
Kassia smiled and nodded. "Definitely," she replied. "We just need to give her some time."
Katianna found herself at Holo Pursuits. She was restless and agitated. She still had been unable to get farther with her report and had been plagued by more flashbacks. No matter what she tried she couldn't stop them. They would come at her of their own free will it seemed, and finally she just began getting angry. Not being able to contain herself further, she had gone to Holo Pursuits and reserved a suite. As soon as she had cued in her program she shifted her uniform into black pants she could move comfortably in and a black tank top. Her fiery hair was pulled back away from her face in a ponytail. As she entered the holo-suite she was surrounded by lush foliage. The temperature was definitely warmer. She took a swig from her water bottle and tossed it to the side and found a place to take a fighting stance. As she initiated the program, it took all of two seconds before she was faced with three opponents with only her hands and the knife she had replicated to bring in with her as weapons. Immediately she was moving to make sure she was not in the middle of these men. She quickly used a knife hand jab to one guy's solar plexus and he stumbled back to get a breath. To another she front jump-kicked him as she came down to punch the other opponent in the temple. But she was just getting warmed up. As the first man charged her again, she took her knife from her pants and threw it, lodging it in the man's eye. He crumpled to the ground. As the other man came at her, she side-kicked him in the throat and he went down with a broken neck. This left her with one opponent standing. She went to the man where her knife was and coldly pulled it from him.
"Are you ready for me?" she asked the one left standing.
Suddenly another two men appeared and he smiled. "I am now," he replied.
She raised her eyebrows as he came at her. She threw her knife again plowing it into the one man's chest. As he went down, she jumped over him with a flourish. As she landed behind the other two, she kicked each in the head with inner crescent kicks that were lightening fast. She looked at the five opponents on the ground and waited for the rest to show. She had designed this program to last 20 minutes at the bare minimum.
"Where's momma?" Laurissa asked as she sat at the table eating her dinner.
"Your mother is busy, little one," Kara replied as she held Daniel in her arms, feeding him a bottle.
"But she's missing dinner," Laurissa whined a bit sadly.
"Well, maybe your mother just had something she needed to take care of," Kara replied. "She has had a lot she's needed to do since her return."
Laurissa sighed unhappily seeming to know that it was more than work. "But I want Momma here!" she almost cried.
"And here I am," Katianna said as she entered.
"Momma!!" Laurissa cried as she ran from the table to her mother. Katianna immediately picked her up and held her tightly. "Why weren't you home? You're suppose to be here for dinner! You're always here for dinner!"
"I'm sorry, honey," Katianna said. "These last couple of days Mom's had to take care of a few things, but it has nothing to do with you, okay?"
Laurissa still looked sad. "Okay . . . I just miss you . . ."
That tugged at Katianna's heart as she kissed Laurissa. "I miss you too, sweetie. But how about, I finish up dinner with you, help you get ready for bed and read you two books tonight?" she offered as consolation. Kara could handle Daniel tonight. She would check on him before bed.
Laurissa smiled gently and nodded. "Okay, Momma."
Almost as soon as Katianna had the kids in bed once again she found herself still restless and haunted by her flashbacks. The last of the Order of the Light and she had seen them die. That was a hard thing for her to take . . . She left her quarters thinking of nothing except escaping her visions of destruction. Again, she found herself in a bar. Tonight's choice was the Easy Inn. Jovani had seen her enter and went to her.
"Hi, Kat!" he said. "What can I get for you?"
"Bottle of your hardest liquor and a glass," she replied.
"Okay..." he replied. "Want anything to eat?"
She shook her head. "Nope. Just the drink. Thanks."
"Are you all right? You don't seem like your usual self," he said.
"I'm not," she replied. "I might never be again. I guess we'll see."
"Want to talk about it? I could probably talk Laz into giving me a break," he smiled.
"Nah," she smiled back. "Thanks. I'll be okay."
"You sure?"
"Would I lie to you?" she smirked.
"Do you really want me to answer that?" he replied.
She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Just get me my drink!" she made a playful swipe for his rear, but he moved out of the way fast enough, which she had intended.
He just laughed and went to retrieve her the bottle and glass.
Again she had drunk herself almost into oblivion, and instead of Toren Len guiding her home it was Jovani. She stumbled a bit as she walked, but at least she was giggling. That was a much better frame of mind she had than previously. As they reached her quarters it took her two tries to get the door open. He lead her inside.
"The couch is fine," she said, as memories of the night before came back to her. She couldn't go into her room. She knew it, so she wasn't going to try.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" he said as he watched her sit.
"Believe me, I'll be fine. I've drunk more than this before," she said. "I'm going to sleep right here."
He looked at her curiously. "Why?"
She shook her head and smirked. "It's quite a story . . . I just can't go into my room. I can't lay in that bed right now. There are unsettling memories for me."
"Like Kalimar?" he asked.
She nodded. "Yeah," she replied, suddenly sort of quiet and reserved.
He sat down beside her. "It's all right. Everything you've gone through. It just takes time to heal from it."
"How do you know what I've gone through, Jovani?" she asked curiously, as their eyes met.
"Well, there are a few of us that know what really happened on the station, and I just figured that something more must have gone on after that," he said. "Something that involved you personally. Remember that I wrote for your character at one point. I know you better than most people on this station can."
She nodded. "Yeah . . ." For a moment she was quiet. "I watched nine people die in front of me, you know? The Order of the Light are wiped out . . . I was almost killed. And now instead of just one demon, there are now two out there." She released a heavy sigh. "I just see the deaths over and over again in my mind and I feel that helplessness."
He placed his hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. It sounds like you went through a lot."
She looked at him and smiled gently, though deep sadness was in her eyes. "Well, I know it's not over and I just am so afraid of what's going to happen. There has never been a situation I haven't been able to bounce back from. But this," she sighed, "Is proving to be a challenge. All I want to do is distract my mind so I don't have to think about it."
Jovani leaned forward to embrace her warmly. Katianna turned and in that moment, she kissed him softly. As they drew away her cheeks tinted and a look of surprise was in his eyes. Tenderly she caressed his face.
"I'm sorry," Katianna said. "I don't know what possessed me. Well, sort of," she amended. "I would ask you to stay," she continued, her eyes meeting his. "But I know it's not what you want."
He grabbed her hand and held it. "You're a great woman," he said. "But you'll probably feel different in the morning. Why don't you try to get some sleep?"
"You're probably right. Thanks for being a good friend."
"Anytime," he replied.
He helped her get settled on the couch and made sure she was all right.
"If you need anything, let me know."
"All right," she said with a soft smile.
"Goodnight," he said, before he left.
The alcohol in her system was making it very easy for her to relax. Soon, she was sleep.