[MARCH 20]
Kalimar turned into Arturus. "You've betrayed my memory, Katianna. You're such a worthless--"
Immediately she struck him to shut him up and then smiled with a wicked twinkle in her eyes. "You can't hurt me," she replied, forcing everything away from herself to put up the charade. "What you're representing to me are lies. You take what's truth and twist it to suit your whims of darkness. But it won't work this time!"
Kalimar turned back into Jovan's form and stumbled back. "Ow!" He looked up at Katianna and smiled. His eyes glowed red as he pulled out a dagger. "You like explanations, right? This is a traditional Romulan blade. It was used in the olden days for clean assassination. I planned to use it on you. I figured that you would die in the heat of battle against some vicious smugglers who would not allow their precious ale to be taken from them."
Kalimar ran up to Katianna and pinned her against the wall, placing the blade to her neck. "Since there are no smugglers, I say, why wait!"
Katianna quickly pulled out the vile of Demon's Bane and crashed it on the floor. The purple gas shot up, and Kalimar let go of Katianna, stumbling back. Katianna began to run.
Suddenly, a wind swept by her, and Kalimar was in front of her, blocking her exit. "Nice trick. It's too bad I got so strong so quickly." He whispered into Katianna's ear. "Sex with you has fed me. You're quite the little animal. Now let's see you squeal." He slashed at Katianna's arm with the blade, then he threw her back five feet.
Katianna landed on her rear, cradling her arm.
Kalimar licked the blood off the blade. "You taste marvelously delicious. I'm going to enjoy bathing in your blood."
Katianna moved to get up, only she couldn't! She remembered this and she remembered getting up and running! Only for some reason this time she was trapped! Panic went into her eyes as she looked at Kalimar laughing at her.
"Looks like you won't be going anywhere after all," he smirked. He went to her lazily and pulled her head back by her hair revealing her neck. "Now, I believe it's time we said good-bye." His eyes glowed red as he raised the blade.
This couldn't be happening! This isn't the way it happened, she thought wild-eyed. "NO!!" she screamed. "NO!!!"
Paul woke up immediately to the sounds of Katianna's screaming and thrashing. She appeared as though she was in a grand mal seizure, and Paul stepped back immediately to let her ride it out. He stepped out of the ward and reported to the nurse's station. "We've got a major problem here!"
The medic working the station returned to the ward with Paul. "She's 'aving a grand mal seizure," Paul said. "Eez zhere anyting you can do?"
"25 cc's of atemrozine," the medic ordered from a replicator. A hypospray appeared; with Paul's help, the medic administered the drug to Katianna's thigh as she thrashed about on the bed. Immediately she began to settle down, breathing in and out deeply in exhaustion. "What 'appened?" he asked, knowing immediately that she probably couldn't give him a coherent answer.
"He can't kill me . . . " she whispered. "Didn't happen . . . Not that way . . ." Suddenly she was completely still, eyes closed.
"What didn't 'appen? You're making no sense!" Paul said, almost yelling as he tried to make sense of what was happening.
"Try to keep an eye on her," the medic said. "We're a bit overwhelmed with all the refugees coming in so there's no guarantee that someone will be here to help her immediately. Right now we're only sending out people for those who absolutely cannot handle the problem themselves."
"'Ow about ze EMH?" Paul asked, aware that every department was stretched beyond its ability to handle the sudden refugee influx.
"Which one?" the medic replied. "We've installed five more, and they're still not enough! Someone will check in on you in a few hours to make sure everything's okay. Good luck!"
The medic left, and Paul remained, awake, thinking nothing as he watched over Katianna's inert form.
The drug was just wearing off as Katianna's eyes opened. She still couldn't move, which meant the forcefield was still in place for some reason, but at least she wasn't having a flashback she thought. She could remember the last one and felt a shudder go through her body as she remembered Kalimar with the blade at her neck. It had felt so real. She could take anything at the moment as long as it wasn't a flashback.
"Paul . . ." she called out groggily.
"Ah am here," Paul said as he touched her hand and swept the stray hair from her face. "What can Ah do for you?"
"What happened? I ache all over . . . I still can't move . . ." she said.
"You woke up screaming an' went eento convulsion," Paul told her. "Zhey gave you a drug an' ze convulsion stopped. You'll probably be sore for a few hours."
She was confused. "I had a seizure?" she replied with disbelief and shook her head. This dust was nothing but a nightmare. Then as images from the flashback came to her, she shuddered. It was definitely, without a doubt a nightmare. "I don't believe this . . ."
"You'll be all right," Paul assured her. "I'll stay with you until you are released. Ze dust will be out of your system in another day or so."
"It has to be soon . . . I don't know how much more of this I can take," she replied as she gazed into his eyes.
"You've already faced off demons. Some illegal drugs should be nothing for you now!" Paul laughed, trying to cheer her up.
"Yeah, that's true," she smiled softly taking his hand, but as she tried to move she felt the forcefield. It did mean that something was still wrong.
"You really have grow up beautifully, honey," she heard a male voice nearby.
"And you have such dedicated friends," a female voice added. "You've grown into the woman we knew you'd always be."
Immediately her eyes widened and her breathing picked up. "Paul, please tell me . . . did you hear anyone just talking to me?" Tears were misting her eyes.
"Ah heard nothing, love," Paul said as he looked at her with concern.
"It's all right, honey," she heard again. She turned to the foot of the bed and she saw the image of her parents standing there looking at her.
"Oh my god . . ." she said.
"We came to see you. To tell you not to give up," her mother smiled.
Paul looked around, bewildered. "What eez going on?" he demanded.
"My parents are here," she said to Paul, almost losing it. She had not seen her parents since the attack on Tanzaria when they had been killed.
"He can't see us, darling," her father said. "But we wanted to come tell you that we love you. We have always loved you and we don't want you to give up now. You have an important task ahead of you and only you can do it."
"I don't understand!" she said to the apparitions.
"Just relax," Paul said, realizing that she would have to ride through whatever hallucination she was enduring at the moment. "Go with ze flow for now. Fighting eet will only make tings worse!"
"Paul, they're DEAD! They died over a hundred years ago!" she said turning toward them once again.
They just came to her and gently caressed her face and touched her hands. They felt real. Katianna almost started crying.
"We love you . . . You have to continue to fight for the light. You are the only one who can win the battle," her mother said.
"But I still don't understand . . ." she cried.
"You don't have too," her father replied. "Just know that after all these years you have carried our love with you. We have always been with you and will continue to be with you always."
"You will get better," her mother replied, "And when you do, honey, it will be time to get to work. Time to fight for the light."
"But how can I fight for the light?!" she asked in frustrated tears. "Kalimar and the Kosst Amojen almost killed me!! Kalimar already did kill several people!"
"You will find your way," her father said. "We love you . . ."
Suddenly their images faded.
"Mom . . . ? Dad . . . ?" Katianna broke into tears as the forcefield lowered. The episode was over. She tried to hide her tears with her hands, but couldn't stifle a soft cry.
Paul took her in his arms as she broke down in sobs. He held her, quietly, gently patting her back as she found catharsis at last.
Paul sat at the edge of the bed, sharing a carafe of orange juice with Katianna who, for the first time, was starting to show some of her old life and spirit. On the table next to her was a rather large bouquet of flowers.
"Zo, are you ready to give your statement?" Paul asked.
Katianna suddenly looked nervous. "I suppose...I don't know. I just don't see how it could help," she said, not really wanting to get to the true reasons why she didn't look forward to speaking with Tara.
"It will be all right. Ah'll be right 'ere with you!" he said, patting her hand as Tara entered.
"My apologies for being late," Tara announced, with her soft British voice filling the air as she entered the room. "Some of the Nausicaan refugees have been getting into a little trouble. Probably just ignorance of our customs more than anything else."
"Ah am sure you 'ave given zhem an adequate education?" Paul said with a smile.
"Of course! We are here to educate the public as well as enforce the law," Tara said as she admired her still-warm skryll, Chiron. "How are you feeling today, Katianna?" she asked, looking at the woman in the bed. Her friend . . . She still looked disheveled, but better than she had imagined.
"Well, I'm not dead yet?" Katianna smirked.
"Ah, but you almost were," Tara replied. "Which bring us to my visit." Tara produced a PADD. "Can either of you tell me anything about who might have dusted you? Was there anything unusual that you noticed at the bar?"
Katianna tried to think back to that moment, but all she remembered was the pound of the music, the darkness and the swirling lights . . . She did remember the funny taste in the Saurian brandy, but she didn't see anyone that looked out of place or sinister . . .
"The only people I remember are Troy, Paul, the Nausicaan band . . . Then just a blur of faces," Katianna shrugged trying to remember anything that could help.
"Was there not someone sitting in your seat when we got back?" Paul asked.
"No, there was a gentlemen that was sitting behind me, though," she answered. "He was actually facing toward me, I think. But I didn't give him a second glance really. I think I saw him dancing with some blond later."
"Hmmm, yes, that's right!" Paul said. "Do you recall anyting about 'im?"
She closed her eyes as she tried to picture last night clearly in her mind. Her and Paul walked off the dance floor, back to their place at the bar and to their drinks . . . There he was. "Well, he's got dark hair, fair skin, dark eyes, clean shaven . . . Looked human," she said then smirked. "But so do most Tanzarans."
"Hmmm...fairly general description," Tara said, frowning. "But I doubt he was Tanzaran. Most of the smuggling on this station is handled by humans or Bajorans. Still, though, I'll check the security footage at Soma. Perhaps you would permit a telepathic examination?"
Katianna bristled. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Tara. I'm still having hallucinations and flashbacks. They're not very pretty . . . You might not be able to wade through the muck to find what you're looking for," Katianna replied, squeezing Paul's hand just a bit. At least she was being honest sort of, she thought to herself.
"It is of course your choice," Tara said. "I would encourage you to do so, but you do have the right to refuse. If you should remember any more details, however, please feel free to contact me."
Katianna smiled gently. "Thanks, I will. I promise."
"You should be feeling better soon. Most cases of dust toxicity are usually resolved from a medical basis within 48 hours. Take care--and if you need to talk, let me know," Tara said as she left.
For some reason, Katianna just felt reserved and quiet. Almost sad as Tara left. She actually wanted to help. She wanted to know who had done this to her, but the idea of someone in her head right now, was not her idea of helping. There was just too much going on in it . . . and the hallucinations had not stopped, on top of everything else she felt.
"Are ze visions still bothering you?" Paul asked.
She nodded. "The flashbacks are worse with this stuff in my system . . . Makes them feel and look like they're really happening all over again. Guess that's why they have that indicator ready to jump a forcefield up on me should my brain waves change suddenly . . . To at least keep me in bed and keep me from hurting myself or anyone else. I guess it's just everything bothering me. I see Arturus, then my parents . . . I'm seeing dead people in these visions, Paul, what is that saying?"
"You are seeing ze people you most wan' to see," Paul told her. He'd had similar visions during his early drinking binges. "Ze dust will be out of your system soon. Just be patient with yourself!"
She sighed as she settled back into the pillows. "Maybe I do want to see them," she replied. "But patience with myself? I fear I have very little of it," she replied.
"Eet eez a failing of all highly-motivated people," Paul said. "Jes' someting we must all learn to live with at some point or other."
Suddenly to their surprise Captain Mallory entered the room. "Hello, Katianna, I thought I'd come by and give you my get well wishes, but it seems from what I hear from the doctors you're making a speedy enough recovery for a Tanzaran," she smiled gently.
"Thanks, Captain," she replied. "I guess. All I know is that I still don't feel okay, but then again . . . I guess I haven't since I got back."
Kitty nodded. "I kind of figured," she replied. "Take it easy, and reserve your strength. You'll need it when you get out of here."
"Why is that?" she asked.
"I promised Laurissa you'd spend the day doing whatever she wanted," Kitty replied. "Apparently you made her a promise you weren't able to keep and I told her I would make sure you were able to." Kitty smiled deviously.
"How are the kids?" Katianna asked.
"They might come by to see you later, so rest up," Kitty replied with a smirk. "Mr. Deveraux, I'd like to speak to you for a moment."
Paul and Kitty stepped out of the room. "What eez ze problem?" he asked.
"There's no problem, Paul," Kitty replied. "I just want to know what's really going on with her. How is she really doing? The doctors are saying she'll recover. That's great. But I want to know how she's doing now. If I ask her, she'll sugar-coat it for me." Kitty then looked into Paul's eyes. "And by now, I think you know her well enough to know that she would. So I'm asking you to tell me the truth."
"Medically, she's going to recover," Paul said. "Ze dust will be out of her system soon. Mentally, Ah'm not so sure. She's still having visions an' flashbacks of fighting demons. Ah don' know what to do to 'elp her!"
Kitty sighed and nodded. "Kalimar . . ." she replied, almost wishing there were a way to smash that demon into oblivion herself. "If there was a way to destroy him myself, I would. I would rather risk myself than risk one of my officers . . . And Katianna has seen too much already. As far as how to help her? Just keep being there for her. It's the only thing any of us can do."
"Zhat you can count on. An' eef zhere eez anything Ah can do to 'elp defeat zhis Kalimar, let me know. Ah've not even encountered 'im yet an' already I want to kill 'im!"
She smiled, but it was almost sad. "I just have this bad feeling that she's going to be the one who has to face him . . . But lets hope there's something we can do to help."
"Hope eez all we 'ave," Paul said with a sigh.
"Why don't you get back in there with her," she said. "I need to get going anyway."
Paul nodded. "Ah'll let you know eef anyting changes."
"Please do," she replied. "Thank you."
With a final smile she left and Paul walked back into Katianna's room. Immediately she looked up from a PADD in her hand.
"So what did the Captain want?" she asked curiously.
"Personnel matter," Paul said, only partially lying. "Feeling any better?"
She shrugged. "Not really," she said, putting the PADD down. "I'm still scared . . ." she added thinking of the visions.
Paul took her hand and held it tight. "Listen, no matter what it is, Ah'm 'ere for you," he told her, looking deep into her eyes.
Holding tightly to that hand, she settled back into the bed. "Thank you . . ." she said, gazing up at him with her green eyes. "What would I do without you?" she smiled softly.
"About az much as Ah could do without you, mon cherie."
Tenderly, he leaned over and kissed her, caressing her cheek. As he drew away from her, she squeezed his hand. Volumes were spoken in her eyes.
Kassia was restocking the shelves on her day off-duty. Originally she had been scheduled to see Katianna, but due to unforeseen circumstances their appointment had been canceled and she found herself here. Danni was in the back going through some inventory. As Kassia had just finished replacing some crystals on a shelf she felt a presence enter her shop. She turned and smiled to see a young man she recognized standing there watching her. She sensed that he was anticipating something.
"Hello, Jovani," she smiled. "Welcome to my shop."
"Hi, Kassia," he said as he looked around in awe. "I've been wanting to meet you. I've heard a lot about you. Especially recently." Jovani smiled while saying that. She knew what he meant.
There was a twinkle in her eyes as she stood. "Yeah, word does seem to get around, doesn't it?" she replied. "So what brings you here today in particular?" she asked gently feeling that there were many reasons that pulled him here this specific day.
"Well, I've been on the station for about three months now... Actually, I've been in this reality for about three months now, and I figure I should see the counselor. That's what visitors from other realities do, I heard," he added with a smirk.
"I'm surprised that the Captain didn't have you make an appointment," she replied. "But then again, here you are now."
Danni came out from the back and saw Kassia chatting. She immediately started restocking the other part of the store.
"Danni, I'll be in the back with Jovani if you should need me."
"All right, Kassia. Don't worry, I think I can mind shop," she replied with a soft laugh.
"Why don't you follow me," she said to Jovani.
She lead him into the back of her shop and into a little room. She lit several candles. It was something she did whenever she entered this room. There was a table and two chairs. She motioned for him to sit.
Jovani looked around, still in awe. Then he took a good look at Kassia. She reminded him of someone who he had adored back home.
"Kassia, do you realize that you look so much like Lucy Lawless?"
"I read about ancient Earth history once. There was a famous show in the sixties called 'I Love Lucy.' Is that what you're talking about?"
"No, no. That's Lucy Ric... Never mind. So, what do I have to do?"
"Well, first off, what made you finally seek me out?" she asked. "I mean, I know that you have wanted to meet me. But for some reason, something has made it important at this juncture in time for you to come to me now. I'm curious to know why. That might be a good place to start," she said, looking at him in the candle light.
Jovani sighed, ready to begin. He always felt in a world that was as sci-fi as it got, that the mystical was not an area much pursued, until recent events changed his perspective.
"I've never really talked to anyone here about it, and I don't know how much you know about Earth religiosity. I practice Wicca. Have you heard of it?" Jovani asked, hoping against hope for a positive response.
Kassia smiled. "Of course," she replied. "My Cave of Curiosities and Mystery caters to many, many mystical religions and practices, Wicca being one of them. It was my first job to know what there was to know about mystical rites."
Jovani suddenly gleamed. "Really?! That's so cool! Basically, I came because I learned of what you did-- having a captain for a roommate has its pluses-- and I wanted to see if you would teach me." Jovani closed his eyes quickly as if he was bracing for impact.
"Of course, I will," she replied. "I can feel your spirit and it's good. But there seems to be something else on your mind too. Something else you haven't told anyone. Is something bothering you?"
"Well... maybe. But it's not really my business. I mean... I feel like it is in a way, but... I don't know. Why? What do you see? You're obviously an empath, can you read minds too?"
She smirked and shrugged her shoulders. "It comes with the territory a bit," she answered, turning very serious. "What happened between you and Katianna?" Being the counselor she was, she felt it important to hear him say it.
"Eeek. You are a psychic. Crap. I mean... uh... sorry. Well, Katianna. Oh man. She's been acting a little... not herself lately."
Kassia sighed and shook her head sadly as she looked into one of the candles. "No, she hasn't," she agreed. "She has been doing anything and everything to escape her personal demons. Of course, I take it, she did something out of character with you?" Kassia asked.
"Well, first of all, she was drinking. I know Katianna. I've only known her personally for a few months, but I wrote for her character. I know her life. I know about the Sarek, Arturus, William Boone, Julian Bashir. I know about the Eriarti and Tanzaria, I know about the virus that turned the Klingons from the Human-like aliens of TOS... I mean Kirk's time, to what they are today. Ask me details about her life, and I could draw it up for you in living color. But throughout all of that, I have never known her to be a drinker. Never. So that's one."
"Two, she's being promiscuous. I can tell. I mean, we were talking in her apartment, and she all of a sudden kissed me. I mean, it was nice, though certainly not expected. And what about Jovan, you know? I just... it bothers me. I don't like to see her like this. She and Jovan were supposed to be my winning couple. I used to write these stories, and I hate for it all to be spiraling out of control like it is. I wish I could do something."
"Well, actually, Katianna has been known to drink on occasion, but I understand," she replied and took his hand gently. "You've known her for a long time, before you actually knew her. You care like a close friend." She sighed. "Believe me, I understand the desire of wanting to do something. As it is, I feel like the only thing I can do is stand by her side and wait for her to come to me." She shook her head. "It's not easy . . ." Suddenly another realization occurred to her. "No one's told you about Katianna, have they?"
"Told me what?" Jovani asked, both curious and frightened. "What's going on?"
Kassia sighed and watched him carefully. "She's in sickbay. Someone apparently slipped a good amount of dust into something she drank last night."
"WHAT?! How did this happen? Who did this? Did she know?"
"Apparently she had no idea," Kassia replied. "If she hadn't have been with Paul, she might have died. He got her to sickbay just in time. But as for 'who' . . . Neither one of them has any idea."
"I need to go see her," Jovani urged as he stood up.
"Well," she smiled gently, "I was about ready to head over there myself."
"Is it all right if I go with you? I really don't have a clue what I'd say to her if I went in alone."
"No problem," she replied. "Either way, I think she'll be happy to see you."
Katianna knew she was only sleeping a couple of hours at a time. For some reason she wasn't able to stay asleep for longer. Maybe it was the dust, maybe not. She didn't know. But she felt something was off. She looked to Paul and saw that he was asleep. She wasn't going to bother him. She didn't feel that bad. But as she closed her eyes and went to turn away from him, she did with great effort. She felt the forcefield around her. That wasn't a good sign she thought. She was almost hesitant to open her eyes, but then she felt the gentle hand of someone brushing away the strands of hair from her face. How was it that these hallucinations felt so real, she thought. Did she dare look?
"Kat, I'm here," William said.
Immediately her green eyes opened and looked into his eyes. It was Will. Tears instantly sprang to her eyes as she smiled. "Will . . . I can't believe it," she said.
"Yes, it's me. I always said I'd be here for you."
"I don't care if this is a hallucination," she said as she reached for his hand and held it. "I am so happy to see you. When I ended back in your reality and found out you'd died-"
"Enough about that," Will told her as he raised his hand. "Death is merely the transition from one plane to another. And in this plane I can communicate with you as easily as I can the people in my own universe."
"I don't care how . . . I am just so glad to see you," she smiled, as a tear trickled down her cheek. "To be able to talk to you and be able to feel your touch . . . I've missed you," she said.
"And I've missed you," William told her as he took her hand. "But unfortunately this isn't the time or place for happy reunions. There is a task that awaits you."
"Kalimar and the Kosst Amojen?" she asked softly as she looked into his hazel eyes.
"Yes. Their influence corrupts everything. They even touch my universe--some of the Taelons serve the darkness, I've learned since I've crossed over. Defeat Kalimar and you can free two universes, maybe more."
Her mind was a jumble. "But how! How do I defeat Kalimar? Or the Kosst Amojen?" she said. "Last time I went up against them they killed ALL of the Order of the Light and almost killed me. Will, what am I suppose do?" she replied almost in tears. "How can I fight two demons and win? I'm just a mortal . . . a fragile one at that . . ."
"A carpenter's son rose from the grave after three days and changed Earth forever," Boone told her. "A peasant with no house rose up to become Kahless, the greatest leader of the Klingon Empire. A gentle philosopher in a blood-drenched world became Surak and brought peace to Vulcan. And you, Katianna Nadira, have what it takes within you. When you need it, it will be there. Just believe in yourself."
Gently she reached up and touched his face. "Will . . . are you real? Or are you just a figment of my imagination?" she asked desperately. Wanting him so much to be real, but so afraid that he was nothing but a hallucination from the dust. He felt so real though, she thought.
"I am as real as you need me to be," William said, touching her face in return. Katianna could feel the warmth of his aura. "And if you need me, I'll be there for you. But do not neglect those in this world who can and will help you," he said, pointing to Paul's sleeping form. "He's one of the best this universe has to offer, though he'd be the last to admit to that. And he'll point the way to others."
She nodded as she felt him wipe away a tear that had fallen from her eye. "He is a wonderful man . . . and in the few days had helped me through a lot," she admitted as she stole a look at Paul and smiled. As she looked back at Will, there was a certain amount of sadness. "You have to go now, don't you?"
"Unfortunately for both of us," William said as he placed his hand under her chin. "But I won't be gone forever, or even for very long. When you need me, I'll be there for you." He then kissed her tenderly as he vanished, his aura filling her body with warmth and light.
"Fight for the light," she said for him as a soft sob escaped her. "Good-bye . . ." Once again the forcefield vanished.
Paul heard her and woke up. "Eez everyting okay?" he asked sleepily.
"I guess I'm okay," she replied as she wiped away her tears, but more seemed to come.
Paul again took her in his arms, saying nothing, just offering his strength.
"Why do I keep getting visited by all my dead loved ones?" she asked, still sniffing. "I just don't understand . . ."
"Maybe you 'ave unresolved business," Paul said. "Zhat's usually why ghosts are said to appear. Unresolved business in this world."
"Yeah," she replied with a cynical laugh, "With Kalimar and the Kosst Amojen. That's what they're telling me. Fight for the light. That I can do this impossible task . . ."
"Zhen zhat eez what you must do. Jes' don' do it alone," Paul told her.
"I don't know how . . ." she said with a sniff. "A mortal against demons? They keep telling me I've been chosen. That somehow I can do this . . . But how? Kalimar and the Kosst Amojen almost killed me!" Tears sprang to her eyes again. "I just don't understand any of this Paul! I don't!"
"When ze time eez right, you will know," Paul said.
"Do you think so?" she asked him seriously as she tried to reign in her quiet sobs. So much had been stirred up by seeing William Boone. "Do you honestly think so?"
"Eet eez always ze case. Life finds ze unexpected ones an' places zhem een impossible positions. Ze result eez history."
She smiled softly as she let Paul to wipe away some of her tears. She allowed herself to melt further into his arms. "Thank you, Paul . . . Thank you for so much. You have no idea."
Paul clutched her close to him. "Eet eez all Ah can do right now. Ah 'ave to be content with zhat."
"It's more than you know," she replied as she looked into his eyes and caressed his face. Fight or the light kept resonating in her mind.
Katianna was resting quietly in bed. For the moment, there were no hallucinations and no flashbacks. She was okay . . . She had insisted Paul go get showered and eat something. She had tried to tell him to get some sleep before coming back but he refused, telling her he wouldn't be gone long. She was actually reading a novel when she felt a familiar presence enter. As she looked up, she saw Kassia walk into her room. Then she saw Jovani. She smiled and her cheeks suddenly tinted a very light shade of pink as she remembered their last meeting.
"Hey, Katianna," Kassia said with a smile. "How are you doing?"
Katianna shrugged. "Well, I've had some nasty flashbacks, some . . . interesting hallucinations . . . I've had a seizure!" she said as if it were an interesting thing. "Other than that, I guess I'm all right." She smiled in return as she put the PADD on the bed beside her.
Kassia raised her eyebrows. "Those are some nasty side affects," she said.
"Yeah, try them sometime," she smirked.
"I don't think so," Kassia replied with a gentle laugh.
Katianna laughed with her. Jovani watched the exchange, but didn't say a word.
"I'm glad you're recovering. We've all been pretty worried about you," Kassia added.
"Well, I guess I'm made of pretty sturdy stuff," Katianna replied. "What's that old saying, Jovani? Keeps a licking and keeps on . . . ticking?"
"Yeah," he replied with a laughed. "It was an add for a watch."
Katianna laughed. "Good saying," she said. "I like it!"
"Do you know who did this to you?" Jovani asked suddenly a bit serious.
Katianna shook her head. "I think it was the guy sitting next to me at Soma, but I don't remember his face."
"Well, can't Kassia or Tara -"
"My mind is a mess right now," Katianna replied. "I seriously doubt anyone could find anything useful in there . . . I'm a mess."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that," he replied. "You've always been able to pull out of stuff. That's how I always wrote you."
A sad smile entered her eyes. "Apparently someone else is controlling the pen now," she replied.
He looked away from her for a moment, but she reached out and grabbed his hand. "I'm glad you came though. I wanted to talk to you . . . I . . . I wanted to apologize for the other night . . . That wasn't me . . ." she explained. "I mean, it was . . . But . . . Oh, I am screwing this up! I just don't want you to feel strange around me because of that. I want us to still be friends."
"We were always friends, Katianna," Jovani replied. "That never changed!"
"I am so glad to hear you say that!" she replied. "And not that you aren't cute," she smirked, "But you really don't need someone like me!"
He just smiled.
"Well, I'm sure all things will work out for the best," Kassia replied. "Is there anything I can bring you or do for you?"
"Would you check on the kids for me?" Katianna asked. "I know that Laurissa wanted to visit me here and I just said no . . . I don't want her to see me like this, in case I have a hallucination during the visit. But I want to know that they're doing all right without me."
"Well, I can tell you they miss you a lot, and I don't need to see them to know that much," Kassia replied, then something puzzled her. "There's a really strange energy in the room."
"Could it be from the hallucinations?" Katianna asked.
"I don't know," Kassia replied. "I suppose it's possible. What have you seen in your hallucinations?"
"Dead loved ones," she replied.
"Hmmmmm, that's really interesting. What do they tell you?"
"The same thing," she replied. "That I have a task in front of me. To fight for the light. That I have been chosen . . ."
"And do you believe this?" Kassia asked.
Katianna looked at her. "Don't try to psychoanalyze me right now, Kass. You know I've been chosen for a task. One that I don't see how I can complete . . ."
"Well, if these are hallucinations," Kassia began, "Then they are coming from you, which means a part of you feels that this is what you have to do and that you can do this. If they are not hallucinations, then you are receiving knowledge from beyond our existence. In that case, you are still dealing with being chosen to do something and that you have the ability somewhere within you to do it."
"But where? How?"
Kassia shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I don't have all the answers . . . yet," she smirked. "But here, we brought you a present!"
With a smile she handed Katianna a small sky blue, opalescent stone. As soon as it touched Katianna's hand it started emanating a sense of calm.
"This should help you," Kassia added. "It's a calming stone."
"Thank you," Katianna replied as she admired the color and the feeling it gave her.
"Anyway, you should probably rest, so we'll leave you to it," Kassia replied.
"Well, if everything works out, I should be released tomorrow," Katianna said.
Jovani and Kassia smiled. "That's great news," Kassia replied.
"Maybe we can get together tomorrow at the Easy Inn then," Jovani said.
Katianna smirked. "You never know! I might surprise you there!"
"Cool!" He replied.
"Get some rest, Kat," Kassia said, as they left.
Katianna looked a the stone and placed it on the table beside her and picked up her PADD feeling very calm for the moment.
She read for awhile, but then she put the PADD down. She had felt something building within her. It was a feeling that was getting all too familiar she thought as her heart rate quickened, not knowing what was going to happened. Suddenly, she felt what had to be the forcefield surround her body and then the walls around her seemed to melt away. In there place she found the bed sitting in a prairie with mountains in the background. In the distance was the forest and beyond the forest was the fire caves. Her heart leaped into her throat as she realized this was Bajor and this was the spot that she had buried Coran. Oh no! Gods no! she thought as she pushed against the forcefield, but it kept her in place. Suddenly, she saw a figure approach her. She shut her eyes willing this to all go away, but it felt too real. All the hallucinations had felt too real!
"Hello, Katianna," said Coran, smiling. He was dressed in the same white robe, but this time, he seemed to glow with white light.
She finally looked at him, her heart still beating wildly. "This is just a hallucination . . . You're not real!" she said. "None of this is real! You're dead! Just like everyone else!"
Coran smiled again. "This is very real, in fact. I may have left your physical plane, but I do not cease to exist. I exist in another form, in another place."
"But Dr. Cherrin said I would have hallucinations," she replied, still finding this hard to take in, though her anxiety level dropped a bit. She could almost take seeing Arturus and her parents and even Will, But Coran? "That things like this would happen from the dose of dust someone gave me in one of my drinks last night. So how can I know that this is real? I just don't understand any of this," she replied, looking down to the bed, closing her eyes for a moment and taking a breath.
"Drugs that cause hallucinations cause you to see many of your deepest thoughts. None of it is false. In fact, all of it is quite real to the observer, and it should never be ignored. You are receiving a gift through suffering. There is never a door closed without a window opened."
She looked at him again and sighed, "I don't know what to do from here. I feel as if I'm at some sort of cross-roads, but I haven't been able to gather the strength or get my wits back to make a decision or to move forward." Pain was etched in her green eyes as she looked at him.
"You have been handed a great task, but regardless of your opinion of yourself, you are prepared for it. You are a Warrior of the Light, and while your path is rough, you are ready to trek it. Do not be afraid to do a duty which has been assigned to you."
"But if I'm not the best I can possibly be, how can I possibly have a chance against Kalimar and the Kosst Amojen?" she replied. She desperately wanted to bounce back from the current pain that haunted her, but she couldn't seem to find the path.
"Did you ever think that perhaps your role is not to fight and defeat both demons? Perhaps you should be asking yourself why the Light would demand such an impossible task from a mere mortal."
"But if that's not my role, then what is?" she asked. "Coran, I started off fighting beside the man I loved. I was by his side. Now, in his place is this demon . . ." she sighed. "A demon I let into my own bed." Tears misted her eyes. "And Jovo is dead . . ." Suddenly she laughed ruefully. "He's the only dead loved one it seems who hasn't visited me in my hallucinations!"
Coran smiled sweetly, and it filled Katianna with a tranquility she had been missing these past few days. "Your role is to be who you will be. We are our choices. You were chosen because you are Katianna Elise Nadira, not because you are a demon slayer." Coran paused, allowing her to grasp that information. "The time of understanding will come. All things happen for a reason."
Then, the scenery melted and turned back into the Infirmary.
Katianna looked around the room again in surprise and found Toren Len suddenly beside her. The forcefield was gone.
"How are you feeling? You seem a little lost," he said.
"I'm not sure," she suddenly replied, feeling oddly serene and yet her mind was putting several things together. Her last pledge to Coran before he died. Her recent conversations, whether from the hallucinations or not, with those she cared deeply for. Something was changing inside her. The question was, to what?
[MARCH 21]
The following day, Dr. Cherrin finally announced to Katianna that the dust was out of her system and that since she had been stable through the night without further hallucinations, flashbacks, or the more worrisome seizures, that she would be released. And Paul, of course, had been with her the entire time. Though he had managed to get a shower the day before and eat, the little bits of sleep he had managed to catch in her room with her were not enough and showed. He helped her gather the few things that she had and to carry them back to her quarters. Outside the door, she stopped and caressed his face.
"Before I go in, I just wanted to thank you for everything," she said.
"Aah, 'ave only done whot anyone who cares would 'ave done," Paul said as she took her hands in his own, bringing them to his lips.
She smiled. "Well, it was appreciated," she replied. "Now, you're welcome to come in, but I think you'd do much better going back to your quarters and getting some much needed sleep."
"Are you sure, you don't need mah 'elp now?" he asked.
"Get some rest," she laughed softly as she tousled his hair.
"Eef you eensist, mon cherie," he replied.
"I do," she said. "I'll see you later."
As he tenderly kissed her good-bye, she entered her quarters, but she felt strange. That strange feeling that had started the day before had not left her and had only gotten stronger. Thought she felt some of the pieces of the puzzle might be working themselves into place, she wasn't sure just what it all meant for her just yet. Suddenly, Laurissa came out of her room with a book in her hands. As she saw her mom, her eyes lit up.
"MOMMA!!" she cried running to her. "Momma! You're home!"
Immediately Katianna scooped her daughter into her arms like she had done many times before and yet, somehow this time was different. Hearing the commotion, Kara appeared adjusting an outfit Daniel was wearing as if she'd just put it on him. Seeing Katianna, she also smiled.
"It's good to see you back and in good health!" she said.
"It's good to be back, Kara," Katianna said.
She hugged Laurissa closer to her once more before putting her down and taking Daniel in her arms. She swung him around a bit as his eyes glowed and he smiled at being in his mother's arms. She then pulled him close to her and kissed his little cheeks.
"It's very good to be back," she said. "In fact, why don't we all grab lunch at The Easy Inn and then head over to Holo Pursuits."
"Are you sure you are up for such a day?" Kara asked with concern.
Katianna laughed. "Believe me, I'm fine, and the thing I need most right now is to spend some quality time with my family."
Lunch at the Easy Inn was simply enjoyable and Katianna had kept her promise to surprise Jovani. After that, she took Kara and the kids to Holo Pursuits where they had spent more than one enjoyable day before this. As they began the process of deciding on a program, Katianna suddenly chose Bajor.
"Momma?" Laurissa asked curiously.
"You'll enjoy this location. It's beautiful," she said, though she wasn't entirely sure why she had picked it. It was where she had buried Coran on the actual Bajor.
As the doors opened on the Prairie and the mountains with the forest Laurissa's eyes lit up and she took off running. They had replicated a blanket and laid it down for Daniel. He immediately rolled himself over from back to stomach and looked around. He kicked his legs as he watched his sister spinning around in circles making herself dizzy.
After a few games of tag and some other outdoor activities, Laurissa had taken a break. Daniel had fallen asleep and Katianna felt an indescribable pull to find a rock and sit, looking in the direction of the fire caves. Her mind churning over everything the hallucinations had said to her. She was chosen for this task. She was chosen because she was Katianna Nadira. She was a Warrior for the Light. But how could she go up against Kalimar and the Kosst Amojen? The question still haunted and plagued her.
"Momma, aren't you going to sit with us?" Laurissa asked curiously.
As she turned to look at her daughter sitting with Kara on the blanket as Daniel slept, it suddenly all fell into place. Her kids! She had to protect her kids! Hadn't Arturus asked her to fight to protect their child. To actually protect both of her children! If she didn't fight for the Light, if she didn't find the will within herself somewhere and the Darkness was allowed to win, then it became a very personal thing. HER children would be in danger and she couldn't allow that to happen. She wasn't sure how, but from that moment on, she was going to devote her life to extinguishing Kalimar and the Kosst Amojen's flame. She would do it, or die trying, but she would make sure she didn't die, somehow. She was a Warrior of the Light and the Light would be victorious. She wouldn't allow herself to think of it any other way. If she was chosen, it meant that somehow she could win, and she held onto that hope as she got up and joined her family on the blanket.