Jayme exited the Colonel's office at 1300 hrs, walked down the hall to the small infirmary kept in Marine country, and nodded to the Corpsmen on duty as she sat at the small alcove computer station that doubled as her office. Jayme inputed her personal authorization. And started working on the Table of Organization and Equipment for the medevac unit she was just ordered to work up. Three hours later she copied the Colonel her recommendations for the above.
She stepped out of the infirmary and walked to the reception station and found Sgt. Major Hartman supervising the watch as she signed out on a three day pass. "Gunny. What's new?"
He looked at her and shook his head, and rasped, "Not much since the last time I saw you, ma'am," thinking to himself that she looked like shit! He went to a desk and pulled out a PADD and handed it to her.
She took it and looked at the PADD. She saw that it was a message from her father...he was on station. It also held 22 memos, three directives, and a schedule of mandatory meetings for all officers. She relaxed and looked at Hartman.
"If anyone asks--you haven't seen me," she said, then over her shoulder, called out, "Thank you."
Her gear had been forwarded to her quarters by someone who was on Hartman's list. Once inside she found a note on the screen of her computer from Kassia that she was due in the Counselors office at 1000 hrs. She found the plants happy and a note that several foods had been programmed into her replicator...pizza, peanut butter and grape jelly sandwiches, cool aid, ice tea, and several different soups, in the event of Tiyanna's visits.
"Peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich," she ordered the replicator. She stripped off and headed to the sonic shower. Wearing just a t-shirt, she sat and ate the sandwich. When she was done she moved into her bedroom, set her alarm, and wrapped herself in her comforter fell asleep.
At 0800, she heard the alarm, proceeded to get up, stretch out, and ate knowing that Kassia could pull her replicators log, if so inclined.
Dressed in her uniform and ready to leave she stopped and opened the other file on the PADD she'd left laying on the table. It was from her father...she quickly read through the note. On her way out the door she noted Kassia's had unpacked her box of belongings, that had gotten lost in transit, and spread them around the quarters.
Kassia had just finished a rather decent-sized cup of raktajino and a report that she had wanted to complete the day before. She glanced at her chronometer and noticed it was almost 1000 hours. She smiled to herself, knowing Jayme was on her way. As she drank down the last of her Klingon coffee, the office sensor sounded. She got up from behind her desk and went to the door before she allowed it to open. There stood Jayme.
"Glad you could make it," she smiled gently at her friend, taking in her appearance.
Jayme entered the room, looked around, and then met the eyes of her friend. "Kassia," she pressed her lips together and then sighed, "wish, I could say I'm glad to be here. But I am glad back to be on base."
"I know," she replied. "Why don't you come over here and sit down with me." She lead Jayme to two comfortable couches. Kassia sat on one as Jayme sat down on the other. "I take it my internal suggestions didn't help all that much while you were away," she said, gazing at Jayme seriously. She didn't look well. Perhaps not as bad as she had, but still . . . she looked far from good. She did look more rested than she did last time, and was glad of that.
Jayme sat on the couch and looked around the room and noted several holographic flat pics on the walls of various places. "I think your suggestions made some differences; but for the most part things were better and worse. But since I arrived yesterday, I've eaten and slept. I probably wouldn't have left my quarters today--except you'd scheduled this appointment."
Kassia smiled softly. "So how were things on Thermopylae? You mentioned they were better and worse . . . ?"
"I taught more classes, went on a few rescue missions with the Fury, and sat watches on the Fury and also in CIC--the last watch was really difficult as the Mullurans tired to take the base. And, like the rest of the sector we saw our share of refuges. Had one really bad day working Sickbay as a Physicians Assistant." Jayme tipped her head to the side and made eye contact with Kassia. "After I left here, the dust in my system kicked in and I had some hallucinations and nightmares. I was trapped in my mind reliving the events on Europa station. ."
"Tell me about them," she said gently, her green eyes gauging Jayme carefully.
The nightmares were the worst. The last nightmare, I woke my company of troopers, who had to restrain me until they could break me out of it."
Jayme crossed her arms over her chest and looked Kassia straight on, and added, "I don't want to talk about it."
Kassia took gentle breath and nodded her head. "What were you feeling? Can you put that into words?" she asked carefully. She could sense Jayme's feelings right under the surface but it was important for Jayme to know what her feelings were. To identify them and work from there.
"In the nightmare, I was scared, confused, and embarrassed." She paused then continued, "And right now... I'm tired," Jayme said as she looked away from Kassia. The beginnings of a headache. "I'm tired and just need a couple of days off. My father is here on station and I want to spend some time with him. I haven't had any nightmares or hallucinations for a while."
Jayme stood, walked over to one of the pictures and studied it for a few minutes, then added, "Kassia, all of this was tied into the 'dust'. I don't see the sense of dwelling on it." She reached up and unconsciously rubbed that temple.
Kassia sighed. "Just the fact that you avoid the subject and walked away from me as I broach it says a lot. This might have gotten brought up because of the dust this time, but sooner or later, your past would have come back to haunt you. Things like this don't stay in the past," she said as she got up and went to Jayme. "The pain and injury these memories cause seep into the very fabric of our being, altering how we do things and even how we respond to people . . . Regulating just how close we'll get to others," she tried to explain. "You might try to convince yourself it is just in the past, but if you honestly thought about it. How much in the past is it, really?" Kassia paused and watched Jayme. "This isn't the only reason you are in counseling, just the most serious."
Jayme turned and faced Kassia, and exploded, "What do you want to hear...that I was in the wrong for sleeping around inside the squad that I led. That...I am embarrassed by the relationship--I am. Yes--I am angry about being assaulted." Jayme ran her fingers though her hair. "That I know, I'm not responsible for the actions of others-- or for being a victim of the assault."
Jayme turned and met Kassia's eyes, "I've taken the psych classes, and as a Combat Corpsman taught the chapters to others in the Corps. I haven't formed close relationships because I am never in one place very long."
Kassia raised an eyebrow. "Really?" she asked. "That's why?" Meeting Jayme's gaze. "Jayme, no one is trying to tell you how to feel. If you had found someone in your squad to have a relationship with, that might not be protocol, but so be it. If it were someone of the same sex, as long as it was someone you had feelings for that shouldn't matter . . . and being angry about the assault . . . Of course. But that anger needs to be dealt with. That memory is alive and well, as played out in your mind as if it were yesterday when it gets triggered or thought about," she continued. "It's not so much a matter of logically knowing that you are not responsible for the actions of others or for the assault, but for feeling that way. For somehow resolving that anger and pain you feel. That is what the purpose is of you being here and it will make any relationship you have easier as well."
Jayme stood quietly for a few minutes and then said, "I'm tired and have a headache. Request permission to return to my quarters."
"After we schedule your next session," Kassia said, moving toward the computer. Jayme turned and walked out the door.
Jayme walked the distance to sickbay. Dr. Fletcher had just finished tending to a man with a broken arm. As he was walking away he saw Jayme enter. He immediately went to her with his tricorder handy, just in case he needed it.
"Ms. Alcon, what brings you to sickbay?" he asked.
"A migraine headache." She said squinting at the bright lighting ans wishing it was anyone on duty but Fletcher.
Jayme sat on the biobed that he indicated in a darkened corner, and she added, "I've been running on the edge of my immune system for several weeks. I should have expected this would happen."
"Hmmmm," he said as he scanned her. "Lets see what we can do for you . . ." As he glanced at the reading he walked away and returned with a hypospray. "This should take care of things," he said as he smiled. He placed the hypospray against the common artery in her neck and depressed the trigger. A soft hiss was heard. "You should start feeling better shortly." He noted her frown but ignored it.
Kassia knew that Jayme was going to be a tough nut to crack. She had built up so many walls around the incident that the dust had eroded easily that even the tiniest scratch seemed to dig too deeply. Kassia was left feeling more than a bit concerned by this. Making an appointment for Jayme herself and forwarding it to Jayme's terminal, she began to meditate. She concentrated on Jayme and felt the pain she was going through. She couldn't just leave it that way. As a therapist one does not open up something that can't shut at least reasonably well. Making a concentrated effort, she kept up her deep breathing and worked on easing Jayme's headache and noted on the side that she'd walked to Sickbay for treatment. Once done, she worked on calming the memories invoked . . . Feeling she had finally accomplished that, she pulled herself from the mediation and checked her schedule. She was due in a meeting with Captain Mallory in 20 minutes.
Jayme rolled her head on her shoulders and noted her physician walking her way. "Dr. Fletcher, may I return to my quarters?"
"I suppose," he said. "If you feel another headache coming on don't ignore it. Go or call one of the Corpsmen in the Marine infirmary." Jayme nodded and said, "No problem, Dr. Fletcher." She walked out and back to her quarters After another meal and a bottle of mineral water, she dialed the direct number for the address that her father had left in his message...
"Hello?" The voice that answered was strong, warm, and made her smile. Finally, Jayme found her voice and said, "I was told my father could be reached at this number?"
Marcus Alcon smiled as he recognized his only child's voice, "Jayme!" He leaned against the wall and smiled, then said, "Your CO told me that you were on assignment."
"I just returned to station late yesterday, Dad. I'm just catching up on unpacking, debriefings and appointments. Do you have plans for dinner?" she asked as she finished the mineral water.
"Just dinner with my daughter," he said in a very serious tone.
With a laugh she asked, "I saw that there is an Italian eatery on the promenade...would 2000 hours be acceptable?"
"Why not go for a late lunch...say in an hour?" he asked.
She shook her head then said, "I just had lunch and my body is trying to adjust to station time...I really could use the nap. If you have a hot card game, I guess we could schedule for another day?" She allowed disappointment to tint her voice.
He had been on more then his share of campaigns while in the Corps, and had heard the edge of exhaustion and something he just couldn't figure out. "2000 hours would be great! Have a good nap." She broke the connection, leaving him wondering and thinking. He could wait the six hours to find out what was going on. Both father and daughter arrived early to the Italian eatery. Half way through dinner Jayme felt a hand on her shoulder and looked upto see Colonel Tarik on one side and Kassia on the other. Jayme looked back at her father who stood. Jayme would have but was unable to scoot her chair back due to Tarik leaning against it. "Marcus Alcon, my father. This is Colonel Tarik, and Lt. Kassia, station's counselor and a friend of mine," she said, making introductions. Both men shook hands and Marcus took Kassia's hand and gave a courtly kiss to her knuckles.
Tarik frowned, shook his head, then said, "I've spoken with your father several times in your absence."
Kassia smiled and said, "Welcome to the station." She noted that even though he was in civilian clothing the colors were the green and black of a marine. She looked closely at Jayme and noted with some relief that some of her natural color was back and the dark circles under her eyes were fading.
Jayme cleared her throat. "Would you care to sit with us and help finish off the bottle of wine?"
Tarik shook his head, no. But it was Kassia who answered, "We have a sitter with Tiyanna and really have be home. Just wanted to stop by and say, good evening." With that both moved off leaving father and daughter to finish their meal.