Karissa had not really left the ship since docking at SB901. She had investigated the Promenade only briefly with the children to see what she could find for them that was new and exciting for their little world. But outside of that, she had returned to the ship and to her duties... and to help wherever she might be useful. She had found herself in the Medical and Science departments helping with the upgrades and repairs. But in the evening as Maya and Luc had slept, she had found herself restless. Since she had been back to her four-hour-a-night sleep ritual she had a lot of free time of her hands. Even in the new quarters memories of Ryan prevailed. But since her creation of Ryan in the holodeck a part of her was not as distraught.
As she looked in at her sleeping infants, she smiled and gently caressed their faces in turn, careful not to disturb them. She was grateful to have them, for it she didn't, she wasn't sure she'd had a reason to hang on. Stealing away from the nursery, she wandered from the room and went to a chest she had in a corner. It was where she had stored Ryan's personal things. Things she hadn't gone through. For some reason, she felt a need to go to it.
She pulled off the crocheted blanket from the top of it, along with some stuffed animals that she'd kept there for the children and then opened the lid. Inside she had kept at least one of Ryan's uniforms. His pips. Several items he had in his quarters, including several PADDs, and old scraps of paper - songs he had written, including the song he had written for her... She pulled out the few PADDs and began scanning them. Some of them were simply books. But there were three that were marked with dates. As she looked through them, she realized they were photos... Photos of her, of them... Of Maya and Luc... Tears came to her eyes as she noticed there were asterisks with notations to a journal.
"Computer, did Captain Ryan Evans keep a personal journal?"
<Search> it replied. In moments it replied, <Affirmative>
"Play journal on my terminal," Karissa replied.
<Access code required.> It replied.
Karissa was stumped for a moment as she thought. She tried a couple of words that failed, but then a single word came to her mind. She wasn't sure why. It just seemed to come to her out of the blue.
"Computer, try Epiphany."
<Code accepted>
Karissa just selected an entry at random. Suddenly Ryan appeared on the screen in an entry dated just before Karissa had arrived on the space station 11 where she had joined the Ronin crew.
[I can't believe I was that stupid! First, to end up in such a compromising situation to begin with, and second, to think that Jesse wanted to patch things up! I wouldn't be a bit surprised to think that she'd set up that whole incident with the ambassador just to discredit me out of petty vengeance...but that would be petty of me in return to think so. I just don't know what to do. I think I'm going to get very, very drunk.]
She'd heard about that day. Ryan had been too drunk to take command as a result of his binge, and Commander Markos had to take the ship out in a first-contact situation.
She moved to another entry, dated eight years earlier. New Years Day, 2376 to be precise. Ryan looked hung over and as though he'd been in tears moments before he recorded the log.
[My God, what have I done? I let myself get into a trap! No matter how drunk I got last night I should have known better! Now Jesse's leaving me and I can' t even look the Captain straight in the face anymore! I've half a mind to file a complaint, but my career would end. She's got powerful friends in Command. And my career's all I've got now...maybe I should just not focus on women at all. They betray you, they entrap you, and they use you. I have my career, I love my career, and it loves me back...all I need is that tall ship, and a star to sail her by.]
Karissa knew how much that incident had hurt him. He'd never fully recovered from Jesse's leaving him. But now she wanted to remember a happier version of Ryan. She moved forward to the journal to an entry just after she'd joined the Ronin crew. Ryan looked concerned, but had a smile on his face.
[Just when I thought it was all over for me, I've encountered someone else. Our new counselor, Karissa Bentara. She's absolutely the most fascinating women I've ever met--and the first person who's ever been able to beat me at handball! There's so much, though, ahead of me...I have no idea what this hearing is going to entail. Perhaps I'm better off not thinking about it. Perhaps Karissa's right, and this is merely routine. Who knows? All I know is that I feel as though I suddenly have reason to live--to be--again! Please, dear God, allow me to keep my command...I'm not ready to be retired just yet!]
And so it was fated, Karissa thought. The next year would seem as ten years given all they'd faced. The incident in the holodeck, the Kelvans, losing contact with the Federation...and the children. She thought of the children, one of whom was Ryan's. At least she had that much...
An entry from a few weeks later brought everything home for Karissa. It was about a week after the incident in the holodeck, when Karissa had gone into heat and lured Will, Ming, and Ryan into a tangled mess that had only begun to sort itself out recently. She shuddered when she thought of what she'd done, and the consequences. But Ryan's reaction astounded her more.
[It's becoming more apparent just how badly that evening last week is turning out for all of us. Thanks to that evening I'm at risk of losing my command! But I can honestly say it wasn't entirely just because of that. Truth be told, I would have gone to Karissa under any circumstances, the ship be damned! Maybe I should save Pike the trouble and resign. Take Karissa with me to that cottage on the Welsh coast I've always wanted. I don't know. Given all that's happened that may be the best option, assuming she'd even go with me. She's not been speaking to me since we were nearly caught. I don't know what's going on there, and I wish I had the courage to find out.]
Her heart cried out as she remembered that heart-wrenching time where she has broke them apart to save his career. But as it had turned out, they hadn't needed to break up at all... All that wasted time, she thought as tears misted her eyes. But a thought occurred to her. She could partially make that journal entry a reality. She decided to ask if Ming and Ciara would do a little babysitting for her...
The beach was relatively quiet and only had a few strollers. The sky was a bit clouded, but the sun was shining, warming the sand just enough. It was a beautiful day for Spring. Karissa had her shoes off and her pant legs rolled up as she walked in the surf.
"I really do love this place," she said almost to the wind smiling as she felt a wave crash against her calves.
The holographic image of Ryan walked up behind her. "Now why am I not surprised to see you here?" he asked as he placed his hands on her shoulders.
She smiled deviously as she turned around snaking her arms around his neck. "Oh... I don't know..." Tenderly she played with the hairs on the back of his head. "This was the place you talked about coming back to." Her dark eyes met his own.
He smiled, his eyes warm as he gazed into hers. "If I could have anything at all in the universe, I'd have this cottage, and you in it. Nothing else. This is all I'd ever want."
She looked up the beach to the few cottages that were there, a safe distance back from the sea. She knew which one was his. "We could have that... Even if its just for a moment in time..." She replied as she gently caressed his face.
Inside the cottage, the caretaker had apparently left everything in readiness. A small fire had been set in the fireplace to take the chill off the breeze from the ocean outside. A tray of petit-fours and a pot of tea sat on a low antique table, which sat between the fire and a floral-patterned winged sofa. The interior was just light enough to see by, but not so light as to be harsh. Karissa saw a baby grand piano to the right of the door, next to the dining room. The table was set in silver, crystal, and china for two, with candles yet to be lit. A huge, covered silver tray sat in the middle of the table. Persian rugs decorated both the entry, the parlor, and the dining room. This cozy but well-appointed dwelling was a far cry from the humble cottage that could be seen from the outside!
"This cottage is beautiful, Ryan," she replied as she looked around. She let him guide her to the sofa. As she sat, he set to work lighting candles before he joined her. She looked into the fire and allowed herself to forget that this was just a holodeck program. Like before, she wanted to suspend reality. She wanted to be with Ryan, and that's all that mattered at the moment. Fulfilling this dream he had...
Ryan placed his arm around her and drew her toward him. "You've no idea how much I've wanted this," he said.
"Every moment we're apart it hurts," she replied with a sad smile, suppressing the tears in her eyes.
"I can't measure the time in moments," Ryan said. "It seems as though it's an eternity. My only existence is when I'm with you," Ryan replied, not bothering to hold back the tears.
Tenderly she caressed his face. "I know... I wish it weren't so bittersweet." She kissed him. "Maybe if we can just remember that first time we were together a t Bosherston, in the holodeck... We were so happy. We can recapture that here. In this moment."
"Yes," Ryan agreed. "Let's just focus on this moment, and let everything else disappear. All the pain, all the worries, all the regret. Let this be our time alone."
Karissa leaned in and kissed him as his arms went around her, drawing her closer. She melted into him, as if they had always been meant to be one. As they finally separated, he tenderly caressed her face as she gazed into his brown eyes. "I love you, Ryan."
"And I love you, Karissa," Ryan said as he returned a kiss of his own.
As they separated once more, Karissa looked at the petite fours and the tea. "Should be bother?" she smiled softly, her eyes sparkling in the light of the fire.
"They're not going anywhere," Ryan said with a smile. "Nor is the pheasant at the table. Let's enjoy this moment. Eating is eating, but this..." He stopped, and pulled her toward him in a tight embrace.
Tenderly she caressed his face and looked into his warm, brown eyes. "This is exactly what we both need," she replied and kissed him gently.
Ryan returned the kiss, somewhat more forcefully. Karissa gasped as he gently forced her mouth open, their tongues entwining. Suddenly he picked her up by the waist with strength that surprised Karissa.
She smiled playfully as she allowed him to pull her onto his lap so that she was straddling him. She ran her hands through his hair and closed her eyes to the soft feel of it. She so missed this, she thought. She missed being with him every night... Every day... Stop thinking about that now she chided herself. Just think about this time. This moment... She kissed his again, matching his passion.
Ryan's hands ran up and down the length of her body, exploring every curve and contour. His breathing became harder as he stood up suddenly.
At first she was surprised about being placed back in her original place on the sofa as she looked at him. But then she had a feeling that he wanted to do something. After all, there was more to this cottage than just these rooms... She gazed at him curiously. "Why did you stop?" she asked with a sly smile.
"There's something I need to do first," Ryan said. He left the room and re-emerged after five minutes. Then, suddenly he picked Karissa up in his arms again. She wrapped his legs around his waist as he carried her into the bedroom.
A huge canopy bed with a down quilt awaited them. The room was filled with lit candles, and a bottle in an ice bucket sat on one nightstand next to two odd-shaped glasses. The shades were drawn; absolutely no light (or prying eyes) could pass their guard. A small censer burned powerful incense in one corner of the room.
Ryan for his part had changed out of his sweater and khaki trousers into a pair of black silk Chinese pajamas while he had made all in readiness.
Karissa smiled as he gently put her down. The room was perfect. She turned and kissed him, but before he could grab her, she wiggled from his embrace. Very sensuously, she turned her back to him and did a little dance, and pulled off her purple sweater. Under it was a black, lacy bra. She laughed as she then agonizingly slow, she pulled off her pants that she had rolled up to walk in the surf earlier to reveal matching black lace undies. Just as she discarded the pants, she felt Ryan's arms go around her waist from behind and she took a quick breath in. It had been so long since she had felt him against her... and he felt so wonderful. He nibbled her neck and she felt like she was going to melt.
Ryan made short work of the sexy underthings as he continued to fondle her. Soon, he felt the pajamas being removed from him. "You may want to be careful with those," he cautioned her. "I don't have anything on underneath."
She giggled. "Oh really?" she replied as she bit her lip as she gazed at him for a moment before completing her work. As she stood back up to face him, she made a trail of kisses until she reached his lips. "God, I love you so much... I can't imagine my life without you... I can't..." She kissed him again before he could replied, afraid of what he might say. She didn't want to ruin this moment and above all else, she wanted this moment. Not just for her, but for him. For them...
Not much was said in the moments afterward, as they explored the depths of each other's passion, probing deeply into their innermost parts, each searching for that which would fulfill the other. All track of time was lost as they shut out the outside world completely. Eventually, they made it to the bed, with its satin sheets sprinkled with rose petals. "I thought you might like this," Ryan said.
She cupped his face gently and tenderly kissed his lips. "More than you can possibly imagine..." she replied, before letting her passion take back over.
Together, they fell onto the bed and lost themselves to each.
Karissa sighed contentedly as she rested on the bed with Ryan behind her. His body pressed against hers and his arm gently holding her around the waist. She could feel the rose petals they had crushed beneath her and smiled. The scent of the incense still wafted in the air and the candlelight stil l cast its golden glow around the room. Slowly, she rolled onto her back. Ryan instantly sensing the movement, got up on his elbow and gazed at her. She smiled and brushed a damp lock of hair off his forehead.
"Thank you," she said softly with such sincerity in her eyes.
"It was my pleasure," he said. "Thank you!"
She laughed softly and then a seriousness entered her eyes. But her smile never faded. "Ryan... What fantasies have you had? I mean, we have all the time in the universe now... We can do some them. Anything you want..." Tenderly she caressed his face.
He laughed. "I'm not sure how to tell you this one with a straight face!"
A big smile lit her face. "What?" she asked.
He couldn't help but keep laughing. "I've always had this fantasy of you as a schoolteacher, and me being a boy being held after class..."
She giggled at that. "Well, I think that one can be arranged! Though of course, I do mean, if there's anything at all you want to do or any place you want to go... Not just our play," she giggled again with a wicked smile. "I just want to do for you want I couldn't do before because..." She couldn't even finish the words. Because their time had been stolen away.
"Because what?" Ryan asked, suddenly alert.
Tears misted her eyes. "Because our time was cut short..." she replied, vividly remembering the Nausicaan Pirate King who had plunged the knife into Ryan's stomach and sent him through the Iconian gateway. "We've been given a sort of reprieve and... I want to make the most if it... for us..."
"Your abilities are truly remarkable to allow you to do this. Who would have thought?" Ryan said, astonished once again by his lover's prowess in matters not pertaining to the bedroom.
"I'm full of surprises," she smiled softly, the mist of tears subsiding. "I want to make dreams come true... Even if its only for moments in time."
"Should we eat first, or should we continue our little game?" Ryan asked. "Since coming to the afterlife I find myself...invigorated somehow. Like the stories in the Bible about our getting new bodies, or some such."
She laughed again. "Good! You're going to need that energy!" she said. "Lets wait a little longer for dinner and skip to dessert once again." With a devilish gleam in her dark eyes, and a swiftness he hadn't expected, she pounced him. Yet with complete tenderness she kissed his lips. "Ryan, you are my heart... and you always will be."
Ryan nodded as he took her hand and, once again, rallied his forces and rose to meet the challenge.