The Easy Inn was still fairly quiet. The evening rush had not yet begun as Katianna took a seat at the bar and ordered a rum and coke. Paul had asked to meet her here tonight, although this was not one of their usual haunts. He'd not sounded himself—as though he were tired. Or frustrated. Or both.
"What time is it?" she asked the bartender.
The bartender, an older Andorian, looked at his clock."It's 1643, ma'am. Can I refresh your drink?"
"No, thank you. I've got a hunch that I'll need to have my wits about me tonight."
"Ah!" he said with a knowing look shared by veteran bartenders throughout all races and worlds. "Whatever it is, I wish you the best of luck!" With that, the bartender returned to polishing the glasses behind the counter.
Paul arrived a few moments later, carrying a blue box tied with a light blue ribbon.
Katianna immediately felt his presence, but didn't turn around. She took another sip of her drink as she felt him approach her. At the last moment, she turned to him and smiled softly, but unsure.
"Hi, Paul," she said. As her eyes spied the gift, she arched an eyebrow.
"'Ello, Kat," Paul said, a little nervously. "Ah'm glad you could make it today." He took the seat next to Katianna. "Bartender, vodka straight."
The Andorian poured Paul a glass of vodka. "Leave ze bottle," Paul said.
"You're starting early," she replied nodding her head at the bottle of vodka.
"Or planning ahead," Paul said. "Eet all depends upon your perspective."
She laughed softly suddenly. "Yeah," she replied. "That's true... So... What's on your mind, Paul?" She asked as she gazed into his eyes. Her heartbeat quickened a bit as she posed the question, almost afraid of the answer.
"Ah've been thinking about tings," Paul said. "Zhere eez so much we 'ave in common, an' so much we can do for each other, eet eez all Ah can do not to think about what we could 'ave together."
He took a drink, and then a deep breath. "But Ah know zhat Ah could never be to you what Jovan whaz to you. An' Ah do not wan' to compete for you or force you to make a choice. Perhaps we should jus' call eet even," he finished, looking downcast.
"Call it even?" she asked wanting clarification. She could sense that there was more to this. His feels for her were there and were strong, but there was something else. Something that made this meeting important to him.
"Do I 'ave to spell eet out????" Paul asked, clearly exasperated. Kat could see that he hadn't gotten much sleep recently. "Ah don' think zhere eez a place in your life for me. Not and ze memory of Jovan at ze same time, an' Ah won't 'ave you make zhat choice. So Ah'm going to bow out now while Ah still 'ave at least a little dignity," he said, taking another drink. "Ze best man won after all." Paul's head dropped to his chest.
"I still don't understand," Katianna replied, tears misting her eyes. "You didn't have to meet with me to tell me that you were bowing out. That we weren't going to spend time together anymore. I sort of figured that from our last discussion." She tried to keep a tight lip on her emotions since she still felt the guilt so painfully from having hurt him. She took her drink and sipped it. She almost downed the whole thing, only she didn't want to go down that road. Not right now.
"Ah 'ad to because Ah do not wan' to be called a coward for not facing zhis like a man. An' yet, Ah can't bear to leave you behind completely. You or ze kids. You mean too much to me!"
Katianna suddenly looked at him, her green eyes still misted with tears that she hadn't shed, confusion in her eyes again. "You've lost me again, Paul..." She didn't want to examine his feels at the moment, or read his thoughts. Her own were difficult enough to manage.
"Ah'm afraid zhat's true in the most literal sense of the word," Paul replied. "Ah wan' to be your friend—and Ah mean zhat.But Ah don' know how zhat's possible given how far we've gone together. Ze only other option Ah can see eez to leave you forever."
Katianna nodded as she looked down into her drink. "The option is yours. It always was," she said. After what she'd done to him, she had no right to ask for his friendship; to ask him to try for her, and maybe he was better not seeing her again anyway, she thought. She could never hurt him again that way. She took another sip of her drink.
Paul poured another glass of vodka. He noted absently but with satisfaction that it was classic Stolichnaya pepper vodka. "But zhat's ze problem, eezn't eet?; I canna bear to leave, but staying eez too painful.; Per'aps Ah should just end zhis discusshon now," he said as he got up from the stool, leaving the package for Katianna. "Ah 'ope you appreciate zhis."
Katianna looked at the package as she tried to keep the tears she felt as bay. Slowly, she picked it up and unwrapped it. Emotions collided within her. As she finally opened the box, inside was a single genetically engineered blue rose. It was perfect in color and size. As she picked it up and smelled the delicate fragrance, the tears came. Blue was for true and abiding love and friendship... And Blue roses of this shade were very rare indeed. All she could do was stare at the flower in her hands and wonder what this meant. Where did they go from here... She couldn't think about the pain. She felt so much guilt knowing how much she'd hurt him. How could they be just friends and yet, she didn't want to lose him. But she would... for his sake, if she thought it was necessary. She didn't want to put him through more. What was she going to do, she wondered.
Paul didn't look at Katianna as he settled his bar bill. A part of him hoped that she would come to him. The realistic portion of him knew how unlikely that really was. But staying here was not an option. Perhaps I can get assigned somewhere else, he started to think.
Katianna subltly wiped at the tears that fell from her eyes as she finished her drink. She got the bartender's attention.
"I want a bottle of Darvantian Rum to go..." she said. She couldn't fight her emotions so there was only one thing for her to do. She was going to take the bottle and head to Holo Pursuits, where her holosuite awaited her. She did have some emotions to work through, she thought.
As the bottle was placed before her, the bartender noticed her crying. She looked at him.
"Do you have a problem?" she asked.
"No, but it appears you do," he replied.
She was quiet a moment as she picked up the rose and put it in the box so it wouldn't get messed up. "You're right," she replied.
"I've got a feeling about the two of you," the bartender said, his antennae waggling slightly.
"Oh really?" she replied skeptically, trying to keep her eyes from misting up yet again. "What kind of feeling?"
"I know Paul pretty well. He's not about to give up on you. Even if he has to resort to being hired as your butler, he'd do it. I've never seen him so stuck on anyone before."
She smiled sadly. "I doubt anyone has hurt him as bad as I have..." With that, she quickly wiped at a tear as it slid down her cheek. She rose from the stool as she gathered her things together.
"You only hurt the ones you love," the bartender said. "If you'll excuse me, I've got to take care of some of these other patrons."
Katianna turned for the door, only to see Paul there. "Ah couldn't stay away. Ah'm so sorry!" he said as he moved toward her.
"But... I thought..." she gazed into his face, her tears still apparent. "I don't want to cause you anymore -"
Before she could say any more, Paul quickly embraced her. "Ze worst pain of all would be not seeing you again, mon cherie. Eef Ah 'ave to play second fiddle, eet eez better zhan not being een ze band at all. Ah've been too selfish."
Tenderly she felt Paul wipe away the tears on her cheeks as she looked into his eyes. "Does this mean we're friends?" she asked, knowing, yet wanting to hear it from him.
Paul groaned. "Zhere you go weeth zhat whole 'just friends' thing! What eez eet weeth women an' zhat? But eef you mean eet for real, zhen of course we are friends!"
"Believe me, Paul," she said as her eyes met his, the seriousness in her eyes unmeasurable. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it... I want more than anything to have you as a friend."
"Zhen zhere we are!" he said. "Bartender! Bring back mah bottle of vodka! Mah friend and Ah 'ave an appointment!"
The bartender smiled as he set the bottle back on the bar.
As Paul poured her a drink, she immediately took a large sip of it and smiled tenatively. "To friends?" she said as she offered the rest of the glass for a toast.
Paul hooked his arm in hers Russian-style as he began the toast. "Out with ze old, een with ze new!" he said as they drank together.
"But the past—"
"Ze past eez een ze past!" Paul said cheerfully. "Of course, Ah can still daydream from time to time," he continued with a wink.
Katianna smiled gently. Her first genuine smile as she laughed a little. Though she could still feel the guilt nawing at her, she pushed it away to the back of her mind. For now, she still had Paul's friendship and that meant so much to her. "You are always going to be a bad boy, aren't you?" she said. But then she got quiet and took one of his hands and squeezed it gently. "Thank you..." she said.
"Ah canna 'elp eet! You should never encourage ze incorrigeable!" Paul laughed. Then, more seriously: "Thank you."
The look that passed between them did not escape the notice of the bartender as he smiled, pretending to polish more of the glasses.