"Turnabout Is Fair Play"


Author: Lieutenant JG Ming Wang
Date: May 11, 2384
Location: USS Ronin


Ming sat hard at work in his laboratory, trying to work out what could serve as an antigen for the pheromones Karissa emitted during heat. He was reading over the computer file on feline physiology when he found something that intrigued him.

"The perennial herb Nepeta cataria of Earth's Mint family, commonly known as catnip, is known to have narcotic effects on most felinoids regardless of origin. Amongst the veh'Khanim, a Beta Quadrant race of sentient felinoids, it is legally regarded as a controlled substance," he read to himself. Something stuck in his mind--not the veh'Khanim; unlike most felinoids, they did not generate pheromones and had been eliminated by Ming's unofficial research project days ago.

Instead, Ming hatched a plan. He grinned. *Yes, that's it! Don't stay angry, get even!*

"Computer, replicate 3000 milligrams of ground Nepeta cataria," Ming ordered. *Probably too much, but that's okay.* Ming's nose recoiled at the strong odor of the catnip.

He then reviewed a catalogue of stuffed animals available for replication. Passing by a stuffed sehlat he thought Ciara, the orchestrator of this party, might like--and it was intriguing how his mind kept going to Ciara despite having only met her recently--he saw exactly what he wanted.

"Computer, stuffed animal 38274-B," he ordered. A large stuffed mouse appeared in the replicator.

Ming took the stuffed mouse and opened its body. Removing some of the stuffing, he mixed it thoroughly with the catnip, and filled the remaining cavity with catnip. He then returned the stuffing and used a molecular sealer to close the seam.

Ming then replicated a large gift box, a card, and a calligraphy brush with India ink. He packed the mouse in the box and sealed it with a large bow. Then he took his brush and dipped it in the ink.

In characters that would have made his Mandarin ancestors proud, Ming wrote a simple note: "We're even!" and sealed the card in its envelope.

Then, realizing the time, Ming headed to his quarters to change for the party. "Ms Schwartz, could you call me in about two hours and let me know if my experiment is ready?" he asked. The experiment was already ready, but the lab assistant didn't know that--or need to know.

"Yes, sir," she replied.