Karissa was in the middle of a battle. She had a sword and dagger. She wore
a black catsuit to give her mobility of her movements, and her hair was pulled
tightly back into a pony tail to keep it away from her face. Her enemy was made
up of many different species. They were slavers and she had managed to release
their recent catch that would have netted them quite a profit. There had been
twenty men, and they had all been after her.
So far, she had taken down thirteen of them. Two more had her cornered against a canyon wall. As she jumped over them, she threw her dagger. It landed in one man's eye, as if hitting a target perfectly dead center. He fell to the ground dead. As her feet touched down behind the other man, she turned and dispatched him by breaking his neck. Now, the tally was up to fifteen, she thought, as she retrieved the dagger. Five more to go . . . Suddenly, another man approached. This one a Klingon. He was just a bit more difficult to beat, but he too fell from a broken neck. As the last four approached her, she didn't noticed the holodeck doors open. One by one, she took her enemies down . . . One with the dagger, another with her sword . . . She broke another's neck and the last's back . . . Her movements were swift and precise . . . Just as they were designed to be, she thought with anger. She was just about to hit what she thought was another opponent she had missed, when she instantly stopped her attack. It was Ryan before her. She was breathing hard and perspiring, as she tried to reign in the rage that coursed through her mind. There was concern in his eyes.
Ryan looked around at the corpses sprawled across the floor. "What's all this?"
"This . . . ?" she echoed as she stopped and actually looked around at the destruction she'd left in her wake. For a moment, she was almost startled by what she saw. "This . . . was me . . . trying to deal with my . . . anger."
"A bit over the top, don't you think?" asked Ryan, as he pushed a severed arm away with his foot.
She sighed and put her face in her hands. "I don't know . . ." She rubbed her face and then her neck. "I don't anything anymore . . ." She took a seat on a nearby rock. She stared at the ground, still trying to ease her emotions.
Ryan pushed the decapitated body of a Bolian off a neighboring rock, and sat down. "Is this about the DNA again?"
She nodded. "Whoever did this to me, almost cost me my life . . . and not just my life, but the life of our children . . . I wasn't designed to ever be a mother. That's why I never got pregnant before . . . And when I did . . . " She let out an angry sigh and shook her head. "I want to find them, Ryan . . . I can't seem to let this go . . . I want them to pay for what they did . . ."
Coming from her, this was surprising. Revenge had never motivated her before. But she had never felt this kind of rage, or betrayal until now.
"And do what when you find them? Repeat what I'm seeing here?"
"Oh, god . . ." she said, hiding her face in her hands. "I don't know . . ." A soft cry escaped her. "I don't know . . ."
"If you want my advice, I'd leave well enough alone. Finding these people will only cause more difficulties for you."
She looked at him, her dark eyes watery pools. "But how do I get rid of this anger . . . I mean, how many times am I going to end up in sickbay . . . where you'll have to wonder if this time I'm going to make it . . . Anything could happen because of this genetic engineering of mine and I feel like I am walking on a highwire . . . Any wrong move, and I'll fall, taking the babies with me . . . And this is because of them!"
Ryan sighed and hung his head. "Kari,
between, Will, Ming and I, nothing is going to happen to you," he said.
"Your DNA has caused difficulties this far, but there can't possibly be
anything else that could go wrong with you . . . I knew a man once. An ensign
under my command on the Britain. He was a Jolon. The only one known to exist.
He dedicated his life to seeking out where he came from. His parents, his creators...
whatever! He eventually found them...." Ryan looked up into Karissa's face,
fear in his own eyes now. "They killed him, Kari . . . Much like the Changlings
once did, he was sent out to collect
information about the universe. When he returned home, that information would
be taken from him. However, they killed him to get it." He took her hand.
"I don't want anyone to kill you. You've gone against everything you were...
born for. You don't fight, you care for living things and most of all, you're
having children." Ryan got up and walked out toward the middle of the canyon.
"Putting myself in their position... I.. I.. I would be forced to destroy
you. You'd be a threat to my research... my life! Finding these people will
be nothing but trouble, Kari. I got a real bad feeling about it."
She nodded with understanding. Another concern suddenly entered her mind. "What if they know about me, Ryan . . . What if they've been keeping tabs on me all along?" she asked, trying to pick out any instances where her career had fallen into place a little too smoothly. "But now, I suppose I'm just being paranoid . . ." she shook her head with a sigh.
"If that is true," said Ryan returning to her, "Then we can expect to see them some time soon." He sat down and took her hand again. "I'm not going to order you not to do this, but I will ask you please, think very, very carefully about finding these people before you start looking."
She lifted Ryan's hand to her cheek and closed her eyes. The tears she had managed to keep at bay began falling. For being a genetically engineered super human, she certainly felt weak when the tears came. "I just wish I didn't know . . . That I could just forget . . . But I can't . . ." She sighed. "I won't go looking for them, Ryan . . ." she said, as her eyes locked with his. "But if they come after me, or you, or the children . . . this will happen to them . . ." She motioned to the dead bodies.
"If they come looking for any of us, you stay far away! You let me handle it, you hear?"
"I can't promise that," she replied softly. "Who knows, I might be the only one who can fight them . . . Their own project backfires in their face . . ."
"Karissa, I DON'T want you any where near them! Kira could easily handle them. You need not worry at all . . . Now I think we've talked enough about this for now, don't you think?"
She nodded, as he wiped the tears from her cheek. "I'm finished with what I came here for anyway . . ." she said, motioning to all the dead bodies. "I haven't run this program since the Academy . . ." she laughed softly. "I suppose its time to move on for now . . ."
"Computer, end program," he said, "Run program Evans 51."
The corpse ridden canyon disappeared as a 20th century theme park appeared in its place.
"How about something to take our minds off things. You like Roller Coasters?" he grinned.
She laughed as she looked around, her anger and pain ebbing away. "I love roller coasters," she replied. "The faster the better!"
"Well, this is the biggest and the fastest ever made. It's called the big one. First drop is 80 meters at an angle of 86 degrees!" Ryan grabbed her hand. "Sure you're ready for this?" he asked.
"Oh, I am definitely ready," she replied. On impulse, she leaned forward and kissed him gently. "Lead on . . ." she said, with the twinkle back in her eyes.
Ryan smiled as they joined the queue.
Karissa laid in bed resting, but not sleeping. Ryan's arm was draped over her waist. His fingers gently resting on her abdomen. She smiled at the feel of his touch, and saddened by his worry for her. He'd never seen her like that before. In truth, she'd never been like that ever, and it had even scared her . . . But now it was over. Most of the rage was gone. In its place, she felt almost hollowed out . . . She was still angry and hurt over being created, and what it had caused in her life . . . However, these were things bound to linger for awhile, she realized.
Gracefully, so as not to disturb Ryan, she opened the drawer in her side table and grabbed the new journal she had replicated for her poetry. She opened it and went to the first available page, taking the pen from the pages, getting ready to write. Though it was dark, she had no need for the lights. She immediately started penning her emotions . . . the words coming out on the page, she hoped would act as a catharsis . . .
Joy is like a
rainbow
Only an illusion
Happiness is like a falling star
Lasting only moments
Sadness is like the ocean
The tides come in and go out
But the ocean is always there
Fear is like the wind
It quickens, slows and disappears . . .
Anger is like fire
Burning with fuel
Until the fuel is gone
And nothing is left but ashes . . .
She looked over the poem and sighed. Was this how she really felt? At the moment perhaps, she realized . . . But tomorrow was another day, and she would see what the new day would bring her.
She snuggled closer to Ryan after
she put the book back in its place. She felt his hand gently caress her in his
sleep and she smiled. If happiness only did last moments, she was going to make
sure each one counted. With a contented breath, she closed her eyes . . . finally
ready to join Ryan in sleep . . .