In Lt. Zano's office, which was made as comfortable as can be, Lataro sat on a plush couch where Anya sat across from him. The light was dimmed comfortably so that the "white" light would not create a hostile atmosphere for her patients. Jon was tapping his heel rapidly against the floor as Anya looked at him. "Commander. There is no need to be nervous."
"Nervous? Who's nervous?" Lataro snapped back, now fidgeting in his seat.
"Please try to relax. I would think that you would have been more nervous about your physical exam with all that poking and stabbing."
"Well needless to say, I didn't like that either."
"Fine. Then shall we start."
"Yes, by all means."
"Commander, I would like to ask you series of questions. Please tell me the answers in as little time as possible."
"Fine."
"Okay. How did you feel on that planet when you first crashed?"
Lataro face turned blank. He remembered the shuttle going down trying to get control of it. Lt. Garza, may he rest in peace, was trying to monitor attitude control, but the increased rate of descent also decreased his life span. Commander Lataro remembered the look on Garza's face, lifeless and in agony. Being here with Lt. Zano, is starting to bring out things that he didn't pay attention to. He then realized that Lt. Eric Garza died slowly probably in agony as his contorted face displayed.
"Commander?" Anya said trying to get Lataro's attention.
Shaking off the memories, he responded, "Yes?"
"I asked you how you felt on the planet."
"Lieutenant, I felt scared and angry, remorseful, all the emotions you can think of. I am responsible for a man dying, and now, when we get back to Starfleet Command, I will have to answer for it."
"Jon. There is no misconduct here. It was accident, a result of war."
"But we are not at war."
"Well we were at the time, and Eric died as a Starfleet officer. You are not responsible."
"I was in command!"
"But sometimes deaths occur, and we must understand that with the uniform comes risks and responsibilities..."
"Yes, Anya, 'responsibilities'. I am RESPONSIBLE for his death...and the death of Nalia."
"Nalia? Who is Nalia?" Anya asked now intrigued.
"Nalia was one of the Trelanians that was killed by the overlords. She helped me when I was injured from sun stroke. Nalia was a wonderful woman who didn't deserve what she to die the way she did. If I had never gotten involved and turned myself to the overlord..."
"You would probably be dead now," Lt. Zano interrupted.
"But it would have been easier than to have seen those innocent people die."
"You tell that to Captain Maruu, K'Lara, your unborn child."
That hit home. The captain was a friend, a good friend. He was there through it all and had moved Lataro along the ranks so that Lataro could get his dream: command. He saw the potential and wanted him to succeed. Without him, Lataro would be security in forever. Besides, if Lataro had died on the planet, he would just be added to the list Maruu is building of those that have been killed, or simply died of natural causes. He has all ready lost too many people who were close: a First Officer, a lover, and a child. Just too many people, and if Lataro was added to the list, then what? Fortunately, Lt. Nori was there to mend the broken pieces and push Maruu along.
K'Lara, the love of his life, risked both herself and their child just to come look for him. She too, had been unselfish in her actions and instinctively, Lataro knew that she would always be that way. How would she feel if Lataro ceased to exist? Klingons recognize the honored dead, but what about the other side? The other side that shows the emotion, the emotion of loss. It could, would, probably will kill her to see the one she loves die.
His child, someone who needed a father. If Lataro had died on the planet, then he or she would have been raised by a single mother, alone in a hostile world. So to try to rationalize the loss of a crewmate and villager and placing the blame on himself almost seemed unfair. Because if he was in the other's shoes, then these three people would probably have been hurt even more.
"You know something, Lieutenant. You are absolutely right. The price of freedom for the Trelanians was high. I was there, I showed them what they had to do, now death is inevitable. But Garza...that is the hard part. He was a good man, a good officer who deserved better than to die like that," Commander Lataro said.
"Commander, Eric Garza died in the line of duty, he will be recognized as such. Do not worry about him."
"I guess you are right."
"Good! Well I don't see any reason why you should be pulled from duty. You show signs of remorse. That is perfectly healthy. You just have to deal with it in your own way. However, take some time, go to the holodeck and ease into recovery. It will be a slow process, but time will heal your hurt."
"Yes. Thank you," Lataro said as he got up. "So am I cleared to report to duty."
"Of course, Commander Lataro. You just give yourself time."
"Understood."
Lataro left the office and headed for his quarters. As he entered, he didn't turn any lights on, but felt his way to his couch and plopped down. He unzipped his tunic and began to wonder about all that had happened. "I guess Anya is right. I will just have to let time take its toll," he said to himself as he dozed off.