Finally, Jenara and Johnny made it to the Day's End Lounge. They arranged an intimate table with candlelight near a large porthole. The view was breathtaking. Without much thought, Jenara ordered something simple. Some cheese and fruit with some sparkling guava juice. Johnny decided on a roast beef sandwich and a cold beer. As Jenara nibbled on her light fare, Johnny began devouring his meal.
"I'm sorry...perhaps I should back off a little. I always feel uncomfortable eating too much when other folks are trying to cut back," he said, glancing at her from his meal.
"Cutting back is hardly what I would call it," she smiled, nibbling a piece of melon. Her complexion looked much better than it had earlier. She was no longer a shade of green! "Just after this day's work, the last thing I wanted was anything heavy in my stomach. Being pregnant has many side effects I'm learning."
"If it's anything like what Human women go through for you, I'll bet it's really interesting!!! I remember when my sister was expecting: for some reason all she wanted was fish! Which is unusual because my people don't ordinarily eat fish," he explained.
"Well, I find that I crave Mexican food out of all things! I don't know why, but when my stomach feels like it's touch and go, like now, lighter fare is better. But strange cravings are part of pregnancy. At least I haven't had any food aversions, really," she replied, with a smile, taking a sip of her juice.
Johnny took another bite out of his sandwich. The beer, a Ferengi brew, sat gathering sweat on its bottle as Johnny continued.
"As long as you don't start craving gagh!!!"
Jenara laughed. "THAT might actually cause a food aversion!" she replied, envisioning the wiggling Klingon meal with a playful shudder.
"I think that carries sushi to an extreme, myself!" he added, remembering the drunken binge during which he actually tried the serpent worms on a dare. Never again! he thought to himself.
Suddenly Jenara started giggling again. "Oh no!" she replied. "That would be pretty bad..."
"What's so funny?"
She raised her eyebrows quizzically. "Your trying those worms on a dare! That must have been quite an experience. I'm sorry, the image was just so clear in your mind."
"Are you a telepath?" Johnny asked, shocked. Who knows what she's been seeing in my mind!!!
"Ahhh," she replied, her smile becoming subdued. "You didn't know. Yes, I am telepathic and empathic. Most Tanzarans are. I didn't mean to intrude on your thoughts, but when something is very strong in one's mind, it almost seems to shout out to me. Most times I can control it, but with you, however, I find that things are...different.
I know that doesn't make much sense."
"Remind me never to play poker with you, then!" Johnny laughed. Her laugher returned along with her smile.
"But that's quite all right: there are cases of Vulcans and Humans who've become close enough to the point that the usual Vulcan restraints on telepathy tend to become weakened. Probably the same thing is going on here."
She was quiet for a moment, and gazed into his dark eyes. "You know, I believe you're right. We don't really know each other and yet... There's something there. So I'm not the only one who feels it. Good! I thought I might be going crazy."
Suddenly, Johnny looked down at his plate for a moment, then brought his eyes back up to meet hers once again. "Could I ask you something? Back on Xenon III, when I was unconscious, did you pick up anything then?" Johnny asked. Perhaps she had some insights into his dream, which still lingered in his thoughts even after nearly three months.
Jenara nodded slightly as she thought. "I remember that your dream was very troubled. I only saw enough to know that you were facing people out of your past/ That for some reason they frightened you."
"In my dream, I found myself entering Ghostland, the Navajo underworld. At the gates to the underworld we are examined by those who have gone before, to determine if we truly are dead. Most of the dead I've known were enemies, or people for whom I was responsible at one point or another," he explained. "The dead often seek revenge upon the living, and that had me very afraid. But they reassured me that it was not my time and that I need not fear revenge now. I was also told..." Johnny started, then decided to hold back. He didn't want his dream to be interpreted as some sort of cheap pick-up. That would have been an insult both to the ghosts and to Jenara.
"That there was a woman in your future?" she finished, vaguely remembering something from the dream images she had received.
"Yes!" Johnny replied, excitedly. To relax himself after that moment of anxiety and terror, he downed a huge swig of his beer, thankful she had beaten him to it.
"I have to say that I had a similar dream," she stated timidly. "This might sound strange, but I have a spirit that dwells in me. Her name is Tiadara. When I almost died, she told me that you and I..." she continued, stopping momentarily to lick her lips which had gone dry, "...our paths are intertwined. That together nothing could stop us, but apart we would fall. I was never quite sure whether or not to believe her."
~Believe me,~ came Tiadara's voice from within her.
The facetious side of Johnny wondered what the Bajoran Prophets and the Virgin of Guadelupe had to say about the matter when he noticed a change come over Jenara. As if she were somehow occupied internally.
"Are you all right?" he asked.
"Yes," she replied with a smile. "Tiadara was...telling me to believe her. I know I sound like a mental case, but I assure you, she's real." Gently Jenara shook with uncertainty. This was entirely new territory for her after 129 years.
"It's all right. I believe you! A lot of Starfleet officers like to discount spiritual things, but that's one lesson at the Academy I seem to have slept through!"
She laughed. "Well, I had never really been spiritual. On my world Tiadara was considered a protector goddess. I never believed in her really. But when Tiadara appeared on Xenon III and told me she was a spirit... Well, it became a little difficult to ignore!" she explained. "I'm glad you believe me," she said softly, gazing into his face.
"How could I not? And who would I be to discount your beliefs even if I didn't? That's the height of rudeness!!!"
"But there are still people out there that discount what they don't understand. I've just never had to explain anything like this before. Its a bit unnerving for me." She smiled.
Johnny took her hand, tentatively, but something within him told him it was the right thing to do. "Those people never had to spend six months in a Cardassian prison camp. The ones who did were never the same again. My commanding officer, just before they finally executed him, was praying to anyone who would listen! Sometimes people just need to be challenged before they start to think and see," he replied.
She nodded as she could see the images of the prison camp that filtered to her. Then, images of Tanzaria's destruction hit her. Tears misted her eyes, but just as quickly, she pushed them away.
"You're right. Sometimes there had to be a challenge. Something to overcome or something to strive for."
Johnny's tongue subconsciously wandered to the empty place where the molar the Cardassians took for identification purposes used to be. "Yeah. After I got back the first thing I did was apply for leave back on Earth. I went back to the Homeland and had the Enemy Way sung over me. Really made me appreciate all my ancestors had to go through to preserve their beliefs from people who weren't even true to their own!"
"Its good that you had somewhere to go and family to help you through those dark days of recovery. I didn't have that. Though I was adopted by a very nice couple on Earth and raised. But I lost the connection to my past. It took me years to set foot on Tanzaria again after the attack. Even now, I have a hard time going back there. Maybe with Tiadara's help, I can return one of these days. It was a beautiful place."
Memories of the attack again rushed her mind. This is not good, she thought.
~Don't worry about that. You will make it right. But it's not time yet,~ Tiadara whispered.
"Tiadara weighing in on this one?" Johnny asked. He sensed it was probably time to change the subject. "Where did you grow up?"
"Outside of Tanzaria, I grew up in southern California on Earth. I stayed there until I was old enough to strike off on my own. I didn't stay in one play for very long after that, not until I joined Starfleet."
"Then we were neighbors!"
"Really?" she replied with surprise.
"The Homeland is between Arizona and New Mexico and extends north into Colorado. Tuba City is where I grew up." Although the area which was formerly the combined Navajo and Hopi reservations had become the 54th of the United States in 2084, political boundaries meant little those days and were mainly of historical interest.
"I remember I was through that area once. I think I was wandering the country at that time. It was one of my trips back to Earth to visit my adopted sister."
"Have you been to Tuba City?" He asked.
"I think I might have!" she replied, though the memory wasn't very strong. But she had gone so many places in her lifetime so far and it was difficult to keep all the places straight. However, it sounded familiar.
"It's one of the three main cities of the Homeland: Oraibi and Chaco Canyon are bigger, but Tuba City's where all our bureaucrats hang out. Not really much to remember. Which is why I left!"
"And joined Starfleet!"
"Well, the Marines, anyway. The Navajo and the Marines go way back! If you've gotta sign up, it's the Corps or nothing! Besides, it seems to match my talents well."
Again Jenara laughed. "Well, if you put it that way!"
"Can't say as if I regret it. I like the outdoors a lot better than staying confined aboard a ship all the time. This is a nice ship, but for me it's just transportation to the next mission!"
"I see your point. I'm not crazy about being onboard ship all the time myself, but that's why I use the holodeck. It's not the same thing exactly, but it works until shore leave. It's not as fun now that I can't shape shift, but I suppose I will survive," she giggled again.
A fragment of an ancient Disco tune drifted through Johnny's mind, causing him to start laughing uncontrollably, almost choking on his sandwich. "Well, we're both a long way from home, it would seem. But then again, home is where the heart is...and in my work. I don't exactly enjoy having to hurt or kill other people, but the other things, the camaraderie, the chance to test one's physical and mental skill, these things are really what gets me up in the morning!" Of course it doesn't have to be all that gets me up in the morning. He smiled at Jenara, then realized he was still holding her hand.
"All I've had for so long is my work, some research and whatnot, but I'm starting to believe that maybe there's more to get up for in the mornings myself."
"Are you reading my mind again?" Johnny said coyly.
"What can I say? Some emotions and images are too strong to block." She smiled softly, a light pink flush coming to her cheeks.
"Good. Because that line was too corny even for me to use!!!"
She smiled. "So where do we go from here?" she asked, knowing what her heart was saying and yet, she was still just a bit afraid. She'd never had feelings like these before for anyone. She had never felt so connected to another person. And there was the fact that she was pregnant. Would that matter? Her free hand moved down to touch her very slightly bulging abdomen.
Johnny caught Jenara's distant look, distinctly different than the one she had when Tiadara was communicating with her. Where her hand had fallen also had not escaped his notice. "I think I know what's bothering you. Listen, I won't let your pregnancy stand in the way if you won't. It's not as though you're running out on your husband or anything. I read what there was of the reports and I will help you any way I can."
A sigh of relief came from her. "I didn't know if you would understand about the baby, since I'm not sure I understand myself," she replied. "What I need is emotional support. So far, I have had to do this alone, and it's been scary. Especially after Xenon III! Sometimes I still have nightmares." She remembered the fighting, and then when Johnny had saved her from a death blow from the Horde. "I want us to draw close. But never having felt like this before, where do we start?" she asked, gazing into his eyes.
"'Perfect love casts out fear,'" Johnny quoted. "The first thing we can do is stop being afraid! I've never been truly involved with anyone before in my entire life! I'll be honest with you: I haven't led a pure life by any means. But since I became an officer I've made a concerted effort to set a good example for my men and the people around me. It's helped my reputation but it's done absolutely nothing for my personal life! I'd like to change that too. But don't expect a lot of sage advice from me on this one. Let's just have fun with it to start out!"
"Sounds like a very good idea!" she said. "Have you ever been to one of the beaches on Teldarius at night?"
"Other than training on Earth and the occasional shore leave at Risa, I've not been to the beach very much at all."
"Well, on a summer night, the water is warm and the three moons glow in the sky; it's really beautiful! I was thinking that, if I could arrange time in the holodeck, you might like to see it. It's not as good as the real thing. But it would be something close to the real thing. Something that could be fun," she replied.
"I have access to Holodeck Three pretty much whenever I need it. That's where we run our field problems. We'll just have to make sure we're out of there before 0500 or else we'll be in the middle of the Pusan perimeter tomorrow morning!"
"Well, that would be interesting!" she laughed, imagining waking up surrounded by fighting. "So then the beach sounds good?"
"Lead the way, madame!!!"
Without further invitation, Jenara stood from her seat, Johnny standing up after her, still holding her hand gently. Together they left the lounge.