Jenara arrived at Holodeck Two an hour early, but there was no place else she wanted to be. At 16 weeks pregnant, the others of the crew were finally starting to notice and ask questions. Questions she didn't have answers to. As time went on, she was spending more of her off-time either in her quarters or on the holodeck. The only times she would go to the lounge or elsewhere was when she had company. Questions were far less likely if she was with someone. As she gazed at her growing abdomen, she sighed and rested her hand there. Any day now, she would start to feel the life within her move. She was happy and yet unsettled by it. According to the scans, she would have conceived around March 3, 2383, and yet she hadn't been with anyone then and not for a long time before that. Yet, she knew this was no immaculate conception. The only time she couldn't account for in her mind was the Away Mission she had gone on with Commander Lataro and Lt. Benton... Was that the key? she wondered to herself. It was the only thing that made sense.
Suddenly an idea hit her. She did have time before Johnny arrived, and there was a way to possibly find out. She might be able to dredge up the memories of what happened by meditation.
"Computer, start program Jenara Three Beta Six. Tanzaran Temple. Twilight."
As the holodeck doors opened, she saw the hilltop temple. She walked passed the doors and onto the hill where this temple stood. The doors closed behind her and vanished. She shook a bit, looking around at the scenery as the sun set over the horizon. This was her world: Tanzaria. The magnificent planet in all its splendor. It had been awhile since she had used this program. Most times, it was too much for her to face, to return to the home she had loved so well, only to know in her heart that her world had been destroyed long ago along with her people... and her family... But pushing those thoughts away, she took a deep breath and headed to the entrance of the large, sandy-colored temple.
The inside of the temple reflected so much of her people. There was a sense of peace. There were plants thriving within the temple and light cascaded down in natural patterns. There were also candles lit everywhere and incense burning. This temple was where one came to look inside one's self for answers. It had been believed that this place was saturated with the energy to help one look within. Jenara had never quite believed any of it. But then, she hadn't believed in Tiadara either. How many other things from her world were real that she had simply tossed aside because of the pain from the destruction? However, maybe it was time to start remembering her past and where she came from. After all, her baby was going to be half Tanzaran and would have a 50/50 chance of having Jenara's abilities. And every child deserved to know where they came from... Which brought her right back to her original dilemma. She needed to find out what happened and how this child growing within her had come into being.
Suddenly, and old priest approached her. He had white hair mostly covered by a light blue cap. It set off his eyes, since they were also a light blue. He wore robes of the same shiny, light blue material, and gold as well.
"May I help you, my child?" he asked.
"I have come searching for missing memories lost within myself," she explained.
He nodded, "And the gods have lead you here. Come with me."
Obediently, she followed him.
As they walked through the temple, she began to feel a peace she hadn't felt for a long time. When he finally stopped, it was before a chamber that had a small waterfall to one side and several healthy green plants growing around it and the room. Candles were lit everywhere, and she could smell the gentle fragrance of incense. There was also a thick pad on the floor covered in the same shiny, light blue material the priest wore, and above her was a large window that looked out upon the sky filled with stars.
"This is your place for reflection," he said. "This room represents where you are from and where you have gone. It is your past and your present."
Gently, he took her hand and lead her to the pad. As she reached it, she took a seat, allowing her legs to spread out, but meet again when her feet came together.
"When you close your eyes, think of your life. The gods will show you what you seek, if it is time," he said. With that, he gave her a tender smile. "Good luck, my child. May you find what you seek."
"Thank you," she replied.
Within moments he was gone. She took another look around at the beauty of this chamber and sighed. As she closed her eyes, she began the deep breathing sequence she learned many years ago on Tanzaria. As she focused on her breathing, her body seemed to grow heavy and then float. It was working, as images started playing through her mind. She saw her parents and her brother and sister. Memories of their happy times together flooded her her. Birthdays, picnics, just being together as a family, meals together... Then, her mind seemed to skip over the destruction. Instead, it took her to Earth, where she lived with her adopted parents, Paul and Jennifer Glacier and their daughter Tabitha. Her and Tabitha had become close, but there was always that feeling of separateness and fear. Fear of losing this family too. But they had loved her and she had loved them. Then, as she got old enough, she took off away from Earth and began searching the galaxy for fulfillment. She stopped everywhere and learned as much as she could about all the different cultures she encountered. Several times she found herself on pre-warp worlds, but always treaded carefully, so she wouldn't be discovered to be an outsider. But she would return to Earth frequently. Connecting with her only family... Then, she joined Starfleet and found a place she belonged. Her mind began running through all her memories, but as it drew closer to the Away Mission, Tiadara appeared.
"You may not want to see this," she cautioned. "These memories only exist because of me."
"I don't understand," Jenara replied.
"Your mind was wiped of these memories. But I have kept them. They are not pleasant," Tiadara warned. Her light green eyes filled with concern.
"But this is the missing piece," Jenara reasoned. "I have to know what happened. How this child came to be."
Saddened, Tiadara nodded. "Very well.."
With a wave of Tiadara's hand, memories began flooding her. Jenara saw the chamber the Away Team had been beamed into. It was dark except for the space they inhabited, where there were bunk beds. The light shined down from the ceiling very concentrated. They were stunned. This was not where they were suppose to be! Jenara had changed into a large predatory cat to see in the darkness and went searching for a way out.
She ended up hurt by the force-field keeping them there. Then Benton disappeared! Leaving Jon and Jenara alone together for an interrogation of sorts. Jon was hurt by the light and Jenara began feeling strong emotional responses that were uncontrollable, and couldn't understand why. Then, other images flooded her mind. Images of lying, strapped onto a steel table, then of pain! Horrendous pain! It coursed through her mind. She could not see these beings, but she was aware of their presence. These aliens concealed themselves in shadows and could not be seen. Then, she was with Jon... They were alone... Emotions running high along with their passions. Only now, Jenara knew the truth. They had been manipulated into being with one another intimately! As the realization swept through her she shuddered and was overcome with remorse. What had they done? Then, another image appeared, with the aliens once again, where these beings were wiping her memory and Jon's. When more images appeared, she was with Benton alone, and the same set of circumstances happened.
No... No... she screamed as the images played out in front of her. The realization of what had happened hitting her full force.
Then, she saw how they were kept unconscious for a time. Tests were run. Then, as if realizing they had succeeded in their goal, the aliens had let them go. However, what had seemed like hours had actually been weeks. Jenara couldn't explain it, but these aliens had kept them long enough to make sure that she had gotten pregnant. They had been able to control time and it seemed to all be in the name of research, but for it, they had manipulated her into having sex. Not just once, but other memories of other encounters with Lataro and Benton crashed into her mind.
As the realization of what had happened, truly hit her full force, a horrendous sob escaped her. She had been manipulated into being a slut, just to procreate... Just so these aliens could see how it was done!
"No..." she sobbed, "No..."
Suddenly, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, bringing her out of the meditation. As her eyes opened, she saw Johnny before her, concern written in his dark eyes. Tenderly, he wiped away some of her tears. Without thought, she embraced him, more tears filling her green eyes.
"What happened?" Johnny asked.
"I think I know what happened now... How I came to have this child... And who the fathers might be... Oh God, I don't know how I can face this."
Not knowing what else to do, he simply held her and let her cry.