"Benny?"
"Yes, Sitto?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did, Sitto."
Sitto made a face. Benton was too literal. "I mean, can I ask you a question after this one?"
Benton smiled inwardly. He enjoyed messing with Sitto's mind. "Yes, of course."
Sitto thought for a second how to best ask his question, but in the end couldn't come up with anything tactful, so he just asked it flat out. "How come you always say, 'Oh dear'?"
Benton's eyebrows went up. He was actually taken a little aback by Sitto's unexpected question. "What do you mean? Isn't it a proper expression?"
Sitto shrugged. "Well, sure it's proper. If you're a little old lady!"
"That's just silly, Sitto," said Benton.
"Okay, have it your way. Just don't blame me if people start losing their respect for you."
"What are you talking about? Could that really happen just because I choose to say 'Oh dear'?"
"Oh you bet!" said Sitto. "He stood up from where he'd been sitting at the main security console and came over to stand directly in front of Benton. "What you need is a cool catch-phrase," he declared.
"Well, I don't think..."
But Sitto was still on a roll. He scratched his chin and screwed his eyes up as he bent his thinking to devising a suitable utterance for Benton. After a few seconds, he snapped his fingers and said, "How about, '#%@& you $&#! @#&%!# and the horse you rode in on!'"
Benton's eyes widened at hearing Sitto's rather colorful suggestion. "Do you really think that would be appropriate, Sitto?" he asked skeptically.
"Well, maybe that's a little strong for somebody like you, Benny."
"I would tend to agree."
"Okay." Sitto thought for another second. "How 'bout, 'Fiddlesticks!'"
"Now you're just being silly again, Sitto," said Benton. "Are you really trying to help me or are you just trying to keep yourself amused because you're bored?"
"Who me?" asked Sitto innocently. "We're pals, Benny. I wouldn't do that to you."
Benton looked at Sitto skeptically. He suspected that Sitto was just messing with him, but decided not to press the issue. Instead, he just said, "Hmm... I'll tell you what, Sitto. I'll give the issue some thought."
"Great." Sitto patted Benton on the shoulder and went back to sit down at his console. "That's all I ask," he said with a smile.
"Right. Well, I'm off to the bridge," said Benton. "My shift starts in ten minutes." With that he walked out of the security office.
Sitto leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on the desk. He chuckled mischievously at Benton's retreating back. "Sucker."
Benton's shift on the bridge passed uneventfully. After leaving security, he had quickly dismissed Sitto's suggestion that his word choice rendered him a "little old lady," as Sitto had called him. But now, at the end of the day, as Benton lay on his bed in his cabin, the seed planted by Sitto sprouted again.
According to the research Benton had done, the phrase "Oh dear" indicated consternation or frustration, but could he have missed the more subtle connotations of the idiom? Did indeed only old ladies use the expression? Could Sitto actually be correct for once?
Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt to try out a few new phrases, decided Benton. He got off the bed and crossed his tiny cabin to the computer terminal on the desk in two steps. He sat down on the chair and activated the screen.
"Computer, display list of Earth idioms similar in meaning and usage to the phrase, 'Oh dear.'"
Benton directed all his mental streams to absorbing the information scrolling up the computer screen. After a few minutes he absently mumbled, "Oh dear..."