The dinner party had provided a fun diversion. Katianna had forgotten how much enjoyment she derived from being with other Tanzarans. Especially around other species that did not have their abilities. In some respects, she felt a little guilty for messing with Colonel Johnny Chee's head, while he was intoxicated. But she had lost herself in the humor and fun of the moment.
But now the evening of fun was over, and here she was . . . alone in her new quarters, in a universe . . . a reality not her own. She had to admit she liked it here. Here, the species that destroyed her world had been discovered. There was something not as hostile about this place as there was in her reality . . . In some odd sense, she felt more at home here than there . . . But a large part of her heart was missing. She wanted to missed the incesant talking of her two year old daughter, Laurissa. She missed hearing, "I Love you!" and "Momma, give me hug!" She wanted the hugs, kissed, craddling her daughter in her arms as she slept. Seeing the Chee's 2 week old daughter tonight brought it all home, as the memories of Laurissa's last two years of growing played through her mind.
The day Laurissa was born, there was bittersweetness for Katianna. She had given birth to her much loved, wanted and waited for daughter, but it was a reminder of the loss of her beloved husband. Which had only been a month before. But each day the sorrow abated a bit, as Laurissa grew and filled them with joy. Her smiles and giggles could lite up any room. Kat could not imagine life without her daughter . . .
Tears misted her green eyes, and only her self-control stopped the mist from becoming a waterfall. But each passing moment her control slipped a little more and a little more. Not being able to stop it, all she could do was sit on her bed and star out the porthole, to try to lose herself in the darkness beyond . . . Wishing the emptiness and the pain would abate. She now had too much time alone with her thoughts. The nights were the worst for her . . .
Slowly a tear trickled from the green pools of her eyes. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, but it was a losing battle. Suddenly something inside of her just snapped, and the rush of tears and sobs engulfed her. She laid her head on her pillow and let the sorrow cover her like a blanet. Every fear that had ever been thought of by a mother haunting her mind. What if they couldn't repair the Seth? What if they couldn't get back to their time at all to get Laurissa and Kara? Or what if something terrible happened to him while she was gone . . . before she could get back to them?
Between the tears, cries and fears, she didn't hear the door sensor sound. She didn't even hear her door open to her code. She didn't sense anything or anyone until a hand gently touched her shoulder and someone took a seat on the bed next to her.
"Katianna, what's wrong?"
It was Jovan. Slowly, the tears stopped as a median of control returned to her. She sat up and wiped her eyes, forcing a bittersweet smile.
"I guess I am not as strong as we both thought," she said. "I am missing
Laurissa terribly. Johnny and Jenara's baby girl just reminded me all over again how empty I feel withouth her . . . I suppose I am a mother first and foremost . . ."
"We'll get her back," Jovo reassured, tenderly wiping the last of Kat's tears away.
Her eyes shut, enjoying the feel and comfort his touch offered. But her fears were still there, like a waking nightmare that wouldn't vanish from her mind.
"What id we can't get the Seth running again? What if something happens to them before we can get back? What if we can't get back at all?"
He hurt for her. She was in pain and there was no way to fix it. Gently he pulled her inot his arms, caressing her back. Trying to sooth her fears.
"Do you trust me?" he asked.
"Of course . . . With my life," she replied, without hesitation.
"Then look at me."
Her green eyes looked into his hazel, the glaze of unshed tears still glistening there.
"I promise you that no matter what, we'll get Laurissa back. Believe this of me. We will get her back . . . You'll be with your daughter again."
As he caressed her face again, she seemed to calm down. She even smiled softly. A silent impulse ran through them. One they both knew well. Slowly, they drew together and kissed. She ran her hands through his hair, as his hands wrapped around her waist to gently caress her back. As the kiss ended, Jovan gazed at her.
"I think I should go and let you get some sleep," he said.
"Don't leave me," she said with a glowing smile, the sorrow practically gone from her countence.
"You're upset . . . and I don't want to feel like I'm taking advantage of you."
She smirked, as one of her eyebrows raised, "Take advantage of me? Now, I hardly think that's possible . . ."
"Well, I . . ."
"I'll be more upset if you leave . . ." she replied, leaning forward to kiss him again. "I want you here with me. I need you with me . . ."
"Well, if you put it that way," he smiled, taking her in his arms again for another deep kiss.
For the moment, all fears were forgotten. A sense that somehow thing would be all right encompassed her. With Jovan beside her, nothing was impossible . . .