Inner Workings

"You had such promise... such potential as an engineer." The subconscious remarked.

"Whatever. Nothing I made or repaired ever worked the same again." Shaka said, finding herself able to sit up in the bed.

"You did." Her counterpart remarked. "You were ahead of your class in theory, but the practical application is what got to you. You had to push through that to be able to work with the slipstream drive like you do today."

"Okay, then. Why did I decide to do slipstream in the first place ?"

"You didn't like the Academy curriculum and structure, but you know that. You always wanted to be different. Try something new. You liked the challenge and responsibility of being the first slipstream drive specialist enlisted in Starfleet."

"That would explain why I don't care what others think of me... I'm always trying to be different."

"Huh ? No, you care more about it than you'd like to admit. Otherwise you would've hit Devore long ago. What kind of girlfriend..."

"WHAT ?!" Shaka exclaimed, sitting up as far as she could.

"Admit it. You've got a crush on him."

"I remember seeing his name scrawled on every stall of the women's bathrooms at the Academy. It may just be fascination."

"And you wanted to be different." The subconscious grinned.

"This is a crush I'll carry to my grave." Shaka muttered.

"Suit yourself. But it will affect your behavior around him, whether you like it or not. And since you don't know if he likes you in return... you always act defensively around him, trying to blow him off."

"He's a stuffed shirt Starfleet Captain." Shaka replied.

"Maybe. And maybe you despise that particular aspect of him. But you like him, nevertheless. Love is blind, or something like that."