Officers Log (Ensign ASHER)

Personal log - Ensign ASHER

"I realise it is not required that junior officers keep a log, that has usually been for the senior staff and department heads. Until this point, I have opted not to do so, preferring simply to reflect on my own personal recordings of past events if clarification is needed."

"However, I feel it has become necessary to keep a running log of my experiences. I feel I may not longer be able to trust my own systems or recollections. Therefore, the log might at some later date provide some sort of reference. Although I cannot explain it, it appears that I have 'gaps' in my memory. Where I flesh and blood, I would think I was going mad."

"I am unsure of the problem. According to my own systems, and those of the Leviathans computer, my matrix is in perfect working order. All subroutines are working within three percent of optimal ranges and my primary networks are all above rated efficiency levels. I am the model of a well functioning holo-program."

"Why then, do I feel as if I am slowly decompiling ?"

"It was a long and hard fight to gain my independence. Starfleet was for a long time unwilling to grant it to me, for fear the unknown and irreplicatable effects of the Preserver Technology that led to my creation. Many believed that somehow the 'conflict' between the two technologies would adversely effect the Federation in some way. Therefore, I am somewhat less than comfortable reporting a problem to them - especially to Lieutenant Commander Barker, who was foremost in opposition to my freedom."

"Which is unfortunate because he is also the person who I should be turning to. After Doctor Zimmermann and the technicians at Jupiter station, he is the one who knows most about my system."

"I am trying to avoid integration with major systems for the time being and I've disabled the sub-space transceiver in my transmitter. I am keeping my matrix within the confines of my emitter, in effect 'imprisoning' myself within my personal cell. I'm also trying to avoid the senior crew any way possible without taking leave, for fear of damage I might cause either deliberately or through making a mistake. I am trying to utilise the holo-lab to create an independent subroutine to keep track of....myself."

"I simply hope...a unique emotion I am not use to.....that I succeed."

End log.