Karissa took her program to a holosuite. She hadn't run it in awhile. As the computer initiated the program, she took a breath, closed her eyes and tried to relax. As the door opened, she walked out onto the beach of Bosherston, holding her shoes. Ryan Evans stood there, feet in the sand as he looked out across the ocean. For a moment, with the stillness of a cat, she watched him and smiled. She hadn't run this program since she'd been on the Ronin-A. It had been several months.
As if feeling her presence, he turned and looked at her. His brown eyes were warm and his smile still made her heart melt, even though this was merely a recreation of the man she'd lost. He went to her and took her hands in his, before tenderly caressed her face.
"I was wondering when I'd see you again," he said softly. "I don't think it's been that long, but... well, time doesn't exactly matter here."
She smiled. "It's been awhile," she said softly.
"Have you started your life again?" he asked, more with curiosity than anything; wanting her happiness.
She was silent for a moment and then nodded. "I'm trying," she said. "I've been doing pretty well, I think. I finally left the Ronin."
He raised his eyebrows with surprise. "Goodness, I wasn't sure you'd ever do that. But in all honesty, it was probably the best thing for you and the children... and Will, correct?"
She nodded.
"You shouldn't feel concerned," he said softly as his eyes gazed deeply into hers, though part of him wished they could be together. But knowing they couldn't, he accepted that she needed to go on. "Though I will always love you and am always here for you, you're not dead. You're part of the living, and so is Will. I am just happy that you've found someone to awaken your heart again and who can be a good father to our children."
Tears misted her eyes.
"Kari, don't cry," he said as he wiped away a tear that trickled down cheek.
A sad smile crossed her lips. "I don't cry as often now," she admitted.
He smiled gently. "That's good. I hate thinking of you in tears. Must be the male need to protect the damsel in distress."
Her smile brightened for a moment as he took her hand and they strolled along the beach.
"Part of me I don't think will ever completely heal from losing you," she said softly. "But I do want you to know that Will really has helped me through a lot. If it weren't for him, I might not even have my commission anymore."
"I always knew he was a good man," Ryan smiled. "Do you remember the first time we were here... well, in the holodeck, of course."
She smiled. "Of course," she replied. "You stubbed your toes on those rocks, right over there, and you bamboozled me into asking you how you felt about me, because you had asked me not to read your mind."
"Bamboozled!" he smiled and laughed. "I did no such thing."
"Oh yes you did! You maneuvered me into asking!" she laughed softly. "I figured that out later. You had wanted me to read your mind." She stopped and caressed his face. "It was the day we decided to throw caution to the wind."
"And then the next day hit with full force... almost getting caught by Admiral Pike," he smirked. "That scared you pretty badly. Perhaps I should have let him catch us. It would have saved a lot of grief!" His eyes caught hers as they continued walking, allowing the waves to wash over their bare feet.
She grinned. "I suppose it would have at that. But all things happen for a reason," she replied. "And perhaps our separation was meant to show us just how deeply we felt for each other."
Suddenly he stopped and gazed into her eyes. "I never needed time to tell me that."
For a moment, time was suspended; both staring at the other. It would have been perfectly natural for him to sweep her into his arms and kiss her, but he knew he couldn't. She was no longer his.
There was a brief pang in her heart as she thought about the life she'd had so briefly with him, but she knew she had gone on. No longer dreaming of the past with the man she loved, but could not be with, because death separated them. But of building a life with another man she loved. Dreaming of a future.
"I never was upset with you for seeking life, Kari," he said softly. "I want you to understand that. I wanted you to live. To enjoy your life, not just for the children, but for yourself, and if you have found happiness with William, then enjoy those moments. You never know how long they'll last."
She again caressed his face understanding his meaning. "I will always love you, you know."
He smiled gently. "And I will always love you."
After another half hour of talking to the man that had first stolen her heart, she left, shutting down the program and taking it with her. Her heart aching just a little, though her mind was at ease. He understood. He loved her... he wanted her to be happy. And for the most part she was finding so much happiness in her family and in Will's embrace. She smiled gently as she headed back home; a measure of relief in her heart.
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