The night before she hadn't slept. Sleep just would not find Jaya Bourne... and it was the same thing every year at this time...
Rather than try to force herself to sleep, knowing it would only bring her nightmares, she had opted to work out in her home gym by candle light. She moved through several martial arts forms, practiced with her various weapons, and then spent a great deal of time beating up her punching bag. There was a burning anger and vengeance within her soul that almost frightened her.
By daybreak, she was exhausted and sat down on the mat, wiping her face and neck with a towel. She let out a deep breath as she lay on her back on the mat, staring up at the blank ceiling.
The thought occurred to her that she should paint it black... Black just like her mood. After she rested a bit, she had every intention of starting her work out again... Today; she'd give herself no time to think... She'd only run herself to exhaustion. It was the only thing that would see her through this bleak anniversary.
Tyran felt that today wasn't going to be a good day for Jaya and decided to check on her. He knocked on the door, hoping she would allow him to be there beside her.
So wrapped up in her own thoughts, she hadn't heard the door, as she got up once again, to start working out anew. Don't think about anything else she ordered herself. Focus on your training...
"What did that punching bag ever do to deserve such a beating, Jaya?" A soft worried voice spoke up from the entryway to the room.
Completely taken off-guard for a moment, she stopped and looked at him.
"Trust me, its better I do this than think too much today..." she replied, forcing herself to punch and kick harder. But it was obvious she was slowly exhausting herself. She hadn't allowed her body enough time to rest between sessions.
"You need to take a break. I'll make you some iced tea, and then you're going to tell me what's on your mind. And I don't want to see you in there again! NOW, Jaya!" He snapped when she looked as if she were going to ignore him and start all over.
For a moment she glared at him, but knew he was right and sighed as she backed down and nodded.
"Fine," she said grudgingly.
Reluctantly, she walked from the room and out into the backyard to sit on the porch swing. She didn't want to be in the house if she wasn't in her training room.
Soon he brought her the tea and sat down next to her. He just kept looking, and waiting.
"I don't want to think too much today," she said softly as she took a sip of the tea and stared out over the backyard. "My training keeps me from thinking about other things. I'm too busy plotting my next move to ... think."
"You have to think, Jaya; because if you refuse to think, you're going to go nuts. You have to cope with what happened, or you'll never be able to move on with your life. "
"I watched my husband die... My daughter died in my arms..." she replied, the anger and pain in her voice. "How am I supposed to deal with that and go on when their murderer is still out there alive?"
"You have to allow yourself to heal. Yes, they died, like my wife died... too soon. I lived in pain until I understood how that would hurt her, since she made me promise to live. And somehow I think David and Emmy might be angry at you, because you've let them down, by killing yourself - your mind and your feelings."
"I had no choice... I have no choice..." she said with flat sincerity. "If I allow myself to feel anything... More than this..." she sighed at looked down at the ground where her feet were touching. "I wouldn't be able to survive... Being able to push this way from me is the only way I've been able to survive until now..."
"Nonsense and you know it. Alec is telling you that you need to be this way! He doesn't want you quitting and having a normal life! I'll show him a thing or two. He's coming to the bar this afternoon to talk to me, and then I'll have a few things to tell him!"
"If it wasn't for Alec I wouldn't be here!" she said as her green eyes finally met his. "Becoming Jaya Bourne was the only thing that saved me."
"Quiet, you know that's not true. They used you; deep inside you know they did. They kept your hate burning. They wanted you to believe you'd died and that isn't true! If you're not prepared to look at yourself and see what I mean, then... Then you don't have to come back to me, Christianna." He rose and walked away seething.
She took her glass and threw it. It hit the fence and shattered.
"Fine!" she replied.
Pain coursed through her. She knew the truth... She remembered what the days following the explosion had been like, her questioning her very existence... Wanting only to die to be with David and Emmy again... Oh she missed her baby so much.
But she pushed the pain away as best as she could and began heading back into the house, she felt an aching numbness.
Tyran angrily kicked the stones in front of his feet away as he walked. He went to the shoreline to cool down. He'd had it with her. Tyran knew how much it hurt to lose loved ones. He would never forget what happened when the Borg came and destroyed his family along with his people. She acted as if she were the only one who knew how it felt.
Finally he got back to the bar, and waited impatient for Alec.
Jaya returned to her work-out. She didn't eat. She barely drank... and even with her muscles aching, she continued until there was nothing left, sweating like a race horse... She then collapsed onto the floor and cried until nothing was left except numbness...
A few hours later, Alec entered the bar. He knew it was time to talk with Tyran. He'd been aware of Tyran's presence in Jaya's life since the contact lunch he had had with her not long ago.
There were concerns, on both sides, he was sure. But he also wanted to check on Jaya... He knew how bad this day was for her. It was a day she always teetered on the edge, and he couldn't have her fall into the abyss. He cared too much for her.
As he entered, he saw Tyran. He could tell the El Aurian was upset over something, though most of the other customers wouldn't have noticed. But Alec was trained to notice these things. He nodded to Tyran and then took a seat in a darkened booth waiting for Tyran to have a moment to talk.
Tyran narrowed his eyes as he saw Alec. As soon as Danayal came back from his break Tyran freed himself and came to the corner booth. His eyes shot fire toward the unwelcome man.
"Before you go spouting off, you should sit and take a breath," Conklin said softly. "You don't want to cause a stir in your bar, do you?"
"That's exactly why you're coming with me now." Tyran hissed and walked to the door leading to his apartment.
Conklin followed and shut the door behind him. "Before you start yelling, I think there's something you need to understand about Jaya."
"I'm listening." Tyran said shortly.
"When I found her, she was wounded badly by the blast that killed her husband and daughter. It took her a long time to physically recover. But part of her died... She wanted to finish that process and forget about living. You may understand pain and grief, but you've had a few hundred years to learn how to deal with it. And she's more sensitive than you'll ever know. She hides it well... even back then she did. Even when she beat herself down, blaming herself for their deaths... You have no idea just how far she was about to go... to what dark depths her pain dragged her. I know you've had your own share of pain, but Tyran, you know everyone is different. Some people deal with things better than others... Everyone's pain threshold is different... For emotional pain, hers is very low... Physical pain... You could practically cleave her in half and she'd barely complain... I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that becoming Jaya Bourne was the only thing she could do to stay alive."
"Have you ever considered that she might want her life back at some point?" Tyran's voice was sharp. "That she now has to deal with the pain, like it or not? If you're worried about your precious project, don't bother, I won't meddle in your affairs anymore, but don't EVER ask me for help again."
"You don't understand," he said. "Without her, we won't be able to stop the Dark Shadow. It was the assignment she wanted... Vengeance... Part of her won't rest until he's dead," Alec said. "You may not believe me, but I care about Jaya too... I knew her as Christianna Avante. I knew her husband and her daughter... I saw what was left of them..."
"I know what it feels like too. I lost my whole family to the Borg. I wanted to be with them so badly, you don't know... how much."
"You're right, I don't know it. I've lost people, but I haven't lost the whole of my family..." he said. "All I know is that for her, I offered her a reason to go on... Her work before now wasn't enough and we would have had to relocate her anyway... Keeping the fact that she was alive secret. After all, she was the target of the hit... Only we found out too late to save her family."
"And what did you want to talk to me about in the first place?" Tyran said calming down a bit.
"I'm worried about her," he said. "She's close to you. I know it. I can see it in her eyes. Under normal circumstances I'd think it was wonderful... But these are not normal circumstances..."
"And what do you want to say to me? Stop seeing her because it's dangerous? That's something you can forget about, Alec."
"It's not just dangerous for you... It's dangerous for her too," he replied.
"In what way?"
"Thinking about you is going to take her edge... Her thoughts may not stay focused and the one thing she needs more than anything is focus. She needs that edge. You've been in the Intel field. You know this."
"So you're telling me to keep my word to her, and say it's over forever. I can't do that, Alec. I love her, damn it!"
Alec was quiet for a moment and nodded. "I thought as much... She won't give you up either, but I had to try..."
"And what do you plan on now? Closing my bar and relocating me?" He said sarcastic. "Well, you may be in luck anyway. We had an argument so she may not want me back, Alec."
Alec's eyebrows knit together. "You had an argument? Today?" he said. There was clear concern.
"Yeah, and what it was about is none of your business. You've been discouraging our relationship since the day it started!" Tyran was still angry.
"I don't have to ask..." Alec said. "I know... I know what today is... In fact, after our chat, I was going to go check on her. But maybe we should just finish this chat later..."
"Alec, "he paused sensing the concern from his friend. "I'm coming with you."
"Be ready for anything," he warned as they began to leave.
Jaya had gotten back up off the training mat, barely able to stand on her feet as she continued to strike at the punching bag. But her strikes were weak. Her muscles ached... She was dehydrated and still agitated, but she wouldn't quit... She couldn't... Each strike she saw the face of the Dark Shadow and tried punching him out of existence... she wanted her vengeance for what he'd done to her... especially to her family.
Tyran ran after Alec. Soon they reached her home.
Alec didn't have the code and knocked on the door. He'd meant to get it from her the other day during their normal contact and he hadn't done it. He was kicking himself for it now.
Jaya didn't answer. He looked at Tyran.
"Do you have the code?" he asked.
"Yeah." He quickly punched it in and the door opened. "Jaya!"
She still didn't reply, but they could hear the faint sounds of her punching bag being hit, though not strongly.
Alec followed the sound and found Jaya hitting the bag in front of her with all she had left and it wasn't much. So focused, she didn't hear them.
"Jaya," Alec called her name softly.
As she stopped she turned to him, practically wilting down to her knees. But she managed to stay on her feet... barely.
"Alec..." she said and then saw Tyran. "Tyran..."
Slowly, she took off the fingerless gloves she'd been wearing... They seemed to not want to come off. Her hands and knuckles were red and swollen.
"Jaya... what have you been doing?" Tyran sighed and looked at Alec.
"What she does every October 11th," he answered as he went to her, grabbing her before she fell down. "Come on, let's get you something to drink... You need to get off your feet."
"A strong drink," she said.
"Nope, water... You're dehydrated. We go through this every time... Liquor later. Right now we need to rehydrate you."
He helped her to the couch in the front room. She closed her eyes for a moment as she heard Alec go into the kitchen and get a glass of water for her.
Tyran just stood there, not saying a single word. He silently turned on his heels, meaning to leave her be.
"I didn't think you'd come back..." she said softly as she looked at Tyran. Her eyes showed nothing of what she was actually feeling... only her exhaustion.
"He needed the code for the door." Tyran said staring at the ground. "Our relationship has no future." He said softly, knowing the words would hurt her.
She looked away. "Fine," she replied as she tried to get up and walk into her room, but could barely get to her feet without wavering. She finally managed to get her bearings. With that, she walked into her bedroom and shut the door, locking it behind her. She lay down on the bed and cried.
Alec came out with the glass of water.
"Where'd she go?" he looked at Tyran.
"I gave her your message." He said and walked off.
Alec, never one to be silent when he was outraged let loose his cannons. If nothing else, it truly showed how protective he was of her...
"You stupid son-of-a-bitch!" Alec growled. "Are you trying to kill her? I may not like the idea of you two being together, but to do this to her today?! What's wrong with you? I thought you actually gave a shit about her!"
"Maybe I'm someone who is sick and tired of you ruling our lives!" The door closed tight behind him as he walked away.
Alex wanted to curse up a blue streak, but refrained. He went to the door and knocked on it. "Jaya..." he said. "Open up..."
He didn't get a response.
"Jaya?" he called again, the glass of water still in his hand.
Still not getting a response, he used his shoulder and forced the door open. He found her on the bed asleep... He put the glass on the table beside her bed and sat next to her unconscious form. With a sad sigh, he placed his hand on her shoulder, careful not to wake her... could this day possible get any worse? he thought and revoked the question in his head. He didn't want to know...
Tyran ran back to his home and fell down on his bed. He could not stop crying. He hated himself for what he'd done, but he was sick and tired of all the meddling he was getting from Starfleet Intelligence... And he was willing to give their love up to protect her; to make sure she would stay alive... But he wasn't sure he could; because even at that moment, he wanted to be with her.
Night fell and Jaya still didn't stir. Alec didn't like that at all. He could see nothing wrong with her, doubted she took anything so why wasn't she waking up... ? He was also worried about her hydration level. She hadn't had anything to drink for most of the day and her lips looked dry. In fact, they were taking on a bluish tinge. He was sure anything she had drank was sweat out through her intense training session of the day... and he knew she hadn't eaten. She never ate on October 11th. Her only activity of the day was working herself to death... just like today.
Finally, he tried to rouse her. "Jaya..." he said softly. "Jaya, wake up..."
"Go... away..." she whispered, still in her exhausted sleep.
"I can't do that, Jaya," he said. "I can't leave you alone."
"Why not?" she asked; half opening her eyes to look at him. "Tyran did..."
Alec shook his head. "What matters is you," he said.
"I don't matter..." she replied. "I take that back... I only matter for one thing... One thing I want more than anything else... To see the life drain out of the Dark Shadow... I want to watch his eyes as his life leaves him... Just like I had to watch Emmy's life drain away from her..." Finally, she sat up, once again awake, but the room spun from the lack of water in her system.
"Here, drink this," Alec said as he handed her the water.
She took it tentatively and then sipped at it. But she didn't take more than a few swallows before nausea hit her.
"You need to finish the whole thing," he said.
"No... You need to leave..." she said as she lay back down and turned away from him.
"You know... its okay for you to cry," he said. "It might even be a good thing for you."
Jaya said nothing, but he could hear her cry softly. But there were no tears. She had become that dehydrated.
"You know, I think I'd better have you seen at the hospital..." he said.
When she didn't respond, he saw she was unconscious once again.
Someone banged on the door at Dominic's place. "DOM! OPEN UP! IT'S ME DANAYAL! HELP!"
Dominic opened the door with a puzzled look on his face. "What is it? What's the panic about?" he asked.
"Tyr... Tyran... he. he broke up a fight between two Klingons and he's been stabbed! He's bleeding all over the place!"
"Oh god!" Dominic replied, grabbing his medkit and following Danayal to the bar as quickly as he could.
As he went inside, he saw Tyran, his head being cradled by Sarah while Joshua Peters was applying direct pressure to the wound with one of the towels from the bar. Blood was everywhere and the Klingons were gone. He immediately went to Tyran and scanned him.
"Okay, let me see the wound," he said. Joshua removed the bar towel. It was a nasty gash.
"Looks like you were lucky," Dominic said. "You've lost some blood, but nothing vital was hit... amazingly enough."
He pulled a tissue regenerator out of his kit and began to get to work.
"Has anyone told Jaya?" Dominic asked.
They all looked at each other. Had anyone called?
"I'll call." Danayal said. He went to the comm and waited.
There was no answer. He shrugged. "She's not there or she's not picking up."
Suddenly Tyran's personal comm chirped.
"Tyran's comm! This is Danayal."
"Danayal?" It was Conklin. "Where's Tyran?" he just about demanded.
"Busy getting a stab wound treated." Danayal said. "Who is this?"
"What?" Alec replied. "Is he all right?" he asked.
"Look, you better tell me who you are."
"Conklin," he said. "He knows who I am and so do you for that matter. Just tell him that I've taken Jaya to Paladin Hospital." With that he closed the connection.
Danayal stared at the comm in his hand and placed it back where it belonged. It had not gone off in a very long time. "How is he, Dom?"
"He'll recover... The wound is almost repaired, but I bet the muscles will be sore for a few days. It's the nerve endings that take the longest to repair. I can only do so much. His body will have to do the rest... Who called?"
"Conklin. He said Jaya was at the Hospital."
Dominic shook his head. "What is it with today?" he said as he saw Tyran come around. "Looks like you're luck is still holding up, my friend."
"What... happened?"
"A knife from a Klingon made a nasty cut in you... But I've repaired what I could," he replied. "You'll be completely back to yourself in a couple of days."
"Tangor and Ek'thal..." Tyran slowly remembered. "They were here fighting."
"And you managed to get right in the middle, I image," Dominic smirked.
"Yeah I guess. Fighting isn't allowed here. They didn't want to stop."
"That's sometimes how the Klingons are... Oh, by the way a message came for you from a... Conklin?" he said as he looked at Danayal. The young man nodded. "He said something about taking Jaya to the hospital. I'm rather concerned about that statement, actually."
"WHAT!!!???!!!" Tyran wanted to jump up and run there, only to find out that Dom had drugged him, to be sure he would rest. "Why, Dom...?" He mumbled and then his eyes closed in a drugged sleep.
"Help me get him to his room. He'll wake up tomorrow feeling much better once he'd gotten some rest and some of his blood replenishes itself..."
Danayal helped him carrying Tyran to his room.
"Check on him a couple more times before you leave. I'll see how he is in the morning... But for now, I think I'm going to see to another patient," Dominic said to the young man.
"Jaya," Danayal replied with certainty.
Dominic looked at the young man. "Yes. Let me know if you need me again."
With that he left.
Danayal made Sarah watch over Tyran, while he cleaned up the blood and re opened the bar. He wondered what was wrong with those two, or if this was just a Friday the 13th hiding as the 11th.
As soon as the doctors had seen Jaya and been briefed about her condition, they immediately began administering IV fluids to pump up her hydration level. But upon examination, the doctors had noticed that her pulse was weak and rapid, her breathing was rapid, her hands felt cold and her lips were slightly blue.
"She's suffering from severe dehydration," Dr. Hancock told him. "All we can do his rehydrate her and wait..."
"What about a shot of Dosersine?" came a voice from behind Conklin.
As he turned around he saw Dominic.
"You must be Conklin," Dominic replied.
"And you are?" Conklin asked with a bit of wariness in his voice and eyes.
"Dominic Sebastian," he replied. "Friend of Jaya Bourne's. You must be as well?"
"Yeah," Conklin replied.
"In case you're wondering, I was originally acquainted with Tyran and through him met Jaya. She's a very unusual, but lovely woman. How is she doing... It looks serious?"
"It is serious... If we don't get her rehydrated, she could die..." Dr. Hancock replied.
"Then try the Dosersine," Dominic said. "It will help keep the fluid in her body."
Dr. Hancock thought about it then nodded. "Yeah, that could work," he said going to get the medication.
"How's Tyran doing? I'm assuming you were there before coming here, otherwise you wouldn't know where Jaya was..."
"He'll be fine... Perhaps a little sore for the next couple of days, but nothing he can't stand... It doesn't seem that Jaya is fairing very well."
"She will... She's a fighter... It's just... Well, I wish Tyran were here. I think I made a mistake and... just caused everything to go off the wire."
"Off the what?" Dominic asked.
"Off the wire. It means things have gone wrong... You know, not the way they were expected to go," Conklin said as he sighed, finding a chair to sit down. "I was trying to protect them and instead I think I pushed them both over the edge..."
Danayal watched Tyran and felt his forehead. Something wasn't right. Tyran felt like he was burning up. Danayal tapped the comm to reach Dom. "Dom, Danayal here. Is it normal for Tyran to have a fever?"
There was a pause before Dominic replied. "Well, it's not common, but certainly not unheard of... Keep an eye on him tonight, if you can. If the fever doesn't break by midmorning, let me know and I'll come back to see what's going on."
"Alright, thank you, Dom. I'll stay with him tonight." He replied. "How's Jaya?"
Dominic sighed. "If they can get her hydrated she'll be fine... But right now, she's not doing well..."
"I see... You know, before this happened Tyran said he wasn't gonna see Jaya anymore; that it was over as far as he was concerned."
"I think him and Jaya both need to have their heads examined," Dominic replied.
"Tell him that, he won't listen to me," Danayal replied.
"I'll do that, when I see him tomorrow," he said before he switched the channel off.
"What was that about?" Conklin asked.
"Well, I don't know what you did, but apparently Tyran broke up with Jaya... Word has it that he said he wasn't ever seeing her again..."
Conklin groaned as he leaned back into the chair.
"Hey, would you stay here with Jaya if I went to talk to Tyran?" he asked.
"Of course," Dominic replied. "But perhaps you should let him rest..."
"Nope, I'd better do this now... I can only hope he'll listen to me..."
Before Dominic could talk him out of it, Conklin was gone. He took Alec's place beside Jaya and held her hand, hoping his presence would make a difference.
Danayal was just busy closing the place down when Alec arrive. He was putting away the last of the glasses and making sure the tables and floor were clean, when he saw someone enter.
"I'm sorry, we're closed, sir."
"I'm not here for a drink," he replied as he continued on to Tyran's apartment. The door was unlocked so he walked in, finding Tyran on his bed, Sarah sitting nearby.
"How is he?" Alec asked.
"Who wants to know? Who are you? Starfleet security? We answered your questions already, now let him sleep." Sarah looked very annoyed.
"I'm a friend," Alec replied. "And I'm a friend of Jaya Bourne's. I need to talk to him."
His voice seemed to pull Tyran from his sleep.
"A...lec?" He opened his eyes and stared at him.
"Yeah, it's me..." He said as he went to Tyran. "How ya feeling?"
"Like I was hit by a shuttle, but that's not why you're here, is it?"
"No... Well, yeah to check on you... But... I just wanted to tell you I was wrong to try to break you and Jaya apart. I think I just made things worse for both of you..."
"Too late... I'm not going back. It has no future. You were right..." He said softly.
Alec let out his breath with disgust. "You know, I think Dominic's right! You both need to have your heads examined!" he replied. "Jaya is in the hospital... she might die tonight and I know part of that is because part of her thinks she's already lost you. Her vengeance isn't always enough to keep her going. I can see that now..." Alec said. "I now realize she needs more..."
"She could die?" Tyran's eyes widen in fear. "Take me to her! NOW!"
Conklin was at first surprise by the ferocity of Tyran's emotional turn around.
"Okay... can you stand up?" he asked.
"I can try." He got on his feet, but he didn't get further than his door. "I can't walk farther."
"Okay... I'll call in a favor..."
Within five minutes, they were transported to Paladin Hospital. Alec grabbed a wheelchair for Tyran and headed straight to Jaya's bed, to the surprised looks of several nurses.
Dominic hadn't moved... and Jaya was still unconscious.
"Has she stirred at all?" Alec asked.
"No... I'm not sure she wants too... Seems like she doesn't have a will to fight."
"No, Jaya Bourne is a fighter..." Alec said as he pushed Tyran near the bed.
Dominic gazed at Tyran, trying to make an assessment of his current condition.
"Jaya... please, wake up. I need you. I love you. Don't leave me alone." He grimaced as he moved forward. He'd gotten out of his bed too early, but he wouldn't leave. He took her hand in his, repeating his plea.
In time, her breathing slowed down and grew deeper... color was finally returning to her lips and cheeks... but she still didn't wake up.
"They're still rehydrating her," Dominic replied.
"Yeah, but I think you being here is helping," he said to Tyran. "Her lips aren't blue anymore..." Alec noticing the changes already.
"Jaya, please... open your eyes." Tyran squeezed her hand.
After several minutes, she moaned... Her eyes opened and she looked around.
"Where am I?" she said barely above a whisper. Her tongue felt thick and dry in her mouth. She saw Alec and Dominic... and Tyran. "You're here?" she said to him as her glassy green eyes gazed at him.
"Yeah... Do you really think I'd let you go that easy?" He moved a little and grimaced.
"You're hurt..." she said as an observation, knowing she, herself couldn't move. Her body felt heavy as if it was filled with weights.
"It's nothing some rest won't cure, trust me. I had an argument with two Klingons of the house of Molar."
"Klingons...?" she replied. Suddenly her eyes closed again as she drifted into darkness.
"Her body's finally responding," Dr. Hancock said as he scanned her, stepping near the crowd by the side of the bed.
"Thank god." Tyran mumbled, suddenly too tired to keep his own eyes open.
"So how did she get so dehydrate?" Dominic asked Alec as he looked over Tyran to make sure he was all right.
"Well... Let's just say October 11th is a really bad day for her..." he said and left it at that.
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