It had just been over a week since Tara Carmichael had taken her position with the Serenity Police force as the Chief of Police. She had already reviewed all the criminal databases and had begun the tedious task, when she wasn't doing her administrative duties for the department, of separating the biggest criminal offenders into different files. So many of the offenders on Serenity were petty criminals or worked for the bigger bosses, but there were a few bosses that had bosses over them; hence the need for the files. There were the drug smugglers, the high end drug dealers . . . but the thing that worried Tara the most was the bosses above them . . . A handful were known to be on Serenity - in Serenity City as a matter of fact - but they were adept at keeping their hands clean. Others didn't even live on Serenity, but had their people running things... and not just drugs. On occasions it was extortion, robbery, kidnapping . . . murder. These were the things that concern Tara Carmichael.
Once again, Jayson was at her office door, lunch in hand for the both of them. "I see you're still at those lists," he said taking his customary lunch seat across from her and handing her a sandwich.
Pulling herself away from the screen, she rubbed her eyes for a moment and sighed with a smile as she took the sandwich. "What can I say? It's like being back home again . . . Same problems, different time . . . And this time I am better equipped to deal with the streets," she said referencing her CVI, that she'd gotten as a Companion Protector.
Jayson smiled and nodded. "So have you made any progress?"
"Actually, much," she replied. "I have the lists just about complete. There are those who are behind the criminal activity on Serenity that actually live among us and those that live off-world or somewhere else at any rate . . We need to start with the criminals here on Serenity and perhaps eventually begin setting the others up . . . After all, from what I can gather, a fair percentage of violent crimes here are perpetrated by these people. They need to be stopped."
Jayson nodded. "I agree."
"What I have never understood is the need for strange names . . . Shet the Shahawt, Kapton the Crusher . . . Once in Athens, I arrested this American who was a pick-pocket and general thief. He called himself Freddie Five Fingers," Tara said with a smirk.
"Freddie Five Fingers?" Jayson asked quizzically.
"Well, in my time shoplifting was called a five-finger discount," she replied with a laugh.
"Ah!" he said with a laugh. "So he took the name Freddie Five Fingers."
"Yes, as ridiculous as it sounds . . ." she laughed softly. "He was a nice enough gentleman though . . . Didn't fight any. I suppose I might have gone a bit soft with him. He was kind enough to give half of whatever he got to beggars on the street . . ."
Jayson enjoyed listening to her stories. "So whatever became of this Freddie Five Fingers?"
Tara smiled. "Well, those of us in the department who knew him all pitched in and got him a plane ticket home to his mother's. He'd been trying to get back to her for a long time . . . She was quite ill. Once back, he sent us a thank you card and let us know his mother was doing much better. He even sent a photo of them together . . . I use to keep it on my desk . . ."
Her voice grew quiet for a moment as she thought about her desk back then from her old days with the Athens Police Department. It had been littered with photos of people she had managed to help in one way or another and photos of her mother and brother.
Going back into the memory something specific emerged.
After having wiped Colin Grey's memory about Grace and her private journal that he had deliberately decrypted to read, suspecting her Liberation affiliation, Tara made sure to keep a careful eye on him, without him realizing what she was doing. It wasn't always easy.
Whenever the two were together it was like rubbing sandpaper against sandpaper. But with Colin, Zo'or's spy among them, every time he was near her, there was something more. Though she didn't want to admit it at first, she realized that with Colin's mind as strong as it was, he was more likely to remember the encounter than the average person. If he's actually had a CVI, it would have been worse. And every time he saw her, she could feel the memory threatening to burst from his subconscious and into his conscious mind taking everyone Tara cared about away from her. They would all lose their lives if their secrets were discovered. So as each day passed and the days collected into weeks, Tara looked for clear signs that he might be remembering. At least Grace had left the country already, she had thought many times with relief. That was one memory trigger that wouldn't happen. But was Grace being gone enough, she worried?
It was mid December and all of the UK was winding up for Christmas, when she noticed Colin hanging around Grace's old office. It was very early in the morning, before the other workers started appearing. He had entered the office and wandered around; examining the chair, the table, the monitor . . Tara had watched him quietly from the doorway without being noticed.
She was the only one who could manage to sneak up on this man, and she knew that annoyed him to no end. But it was also an advantage for her.
She watched as he sat down in Grace's old chair; his black eyes not seeing the desk before him. He seemed deep in thought. Lost somewhere in his mind . . . But then, her heart jumped into her throat. He opened the draw where Grace used to keep her journal as if re-enacting his covert operation to retrieve the information about Grace and her Resistance friends.
With heart pounding, she stepped from the doorway and went to her own office. Once there, she shut the door and leaned against it for support. Tara knew this was bad. Her fears were realized. He didn't remember enough to hurt anyone yet, but it was coming. Maybe a week . . . maybe days . . . She was going to have to take action, and quickly. She reached down and gently touched her abdomen where her baby grew. If Colin Grey wasn't stopped, they were all in danger, including her little girl.
Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she walked to her desk and sat down to get to some of her work. But her mind was a million miles away. A plan was forming . . . She didn't like it, but she was trapped. There wasn't anything else she could do that would give her the outcome she needed. She was all out of options. It was either Grey or everyone she cared about. There was no choice.
~James, I have a problem and I need a favor . . .~ she projected to him, knowing he was awake.
~What is it?~ he asked. She got the sense from him that he was engaged in something physically taxing, like a workout and wanted to keep it brief.
~I need any leads you have on "Resistance Activities" that could take myself and Mr. Grey to Greece. I need it as soon as possible . . .~
He didn't like the sound of that. ~Tara, what's going on?~
~The less you know, the better . . . But I have to have a legitimate reason to be there.~
~I don't know . . .~ He replied, sensing there was a lot more that she wasn't telling him.
~Please, James . . . There is something I have to take care of. If I don't, you, Jen, Grace, Na'ar and the Resistance are in danger.~
~So how does Colin Grey figure into this?~ he asked.
Tara was quiet for a moment, debating how much to tell him. It wasn't that she didn't trust him. In fact, he was one of the few people she would trust with her life. But she didn't want him involved. If anything should go wrong, she didn't want anyone else brought down. It was going to be a one woman show.
~Tara?~
~Lets just say that he's a problem and he has to be fixed.~ She knew he would understand, but would worry about her. ~Don't try to talk me out of it. No one else can do this . . .~
~Are you sure you can do this alone?~
~I just need to get to Greece . . . I have powerful friends in Athens. Please say you have a lead for me to get me there . . . ~
For a moment James was silent. ~If there isn't one, I'll find one.~
Tara breathed a sigh of relief as the conversation closed. So many emotions swirled within her, but closing her eyes, she used her mind to quell the emotions and fears. A simple meditation Ta'al had taught her. All that remained was her goal. The wheels had been set in motion. Now it was time to continue them. She opened her global and contacted Ryan.
"Hey, beautiful!" he smiled. It was obvious that he was sitting at his kitchen table. "What can I do for you?"
"How about a shuttle ride to Athens, Greece?" she asked.
"Now?" he questioned.
She shook her head. "Not yet, but be ready to leave on a moment's notice."
"You've got it."
James was always as good as his word. Within four hours there was news of Resistance Movement in Athens. The best Implants that were available were being requested from the UK and that had to be Tara Carmichael and Colin Grey. Tara didn't know if the lead was real or not. To her, it didn't matter. She was going. Colin was going. The time was coming for her to act.
After bidding good-bye to Na'ar, they boarded the shuttle to Greece with Ryan at the helm.
Colin and Tara left the shuttle. As Colin walked off, Ryan grabbed Tara's arm and looked into her green eyes.
"You know, I've had time to think about this. What is going on here?" he asked.
"I have work to do," she replied flatly.
"Then let me help you. Don't just leave me behind."
Tara sighed. "I can't have you with me . . . What's going on here I have to do alone."
"Why? What is it that you're doing?"
"Ask me later, when you pick me up . . ." she said, gently caressing his face.
Without looking back, she walked away and into the building where Colin Grey awaited her with the rest of the report on Resistance Activities in Greece.
"It seems that there are two places to focus our search on," Colin said, pointing to the locations on a map display before them.
"I'll take here," Tara replied, pointing to the location that would take her deep into Athens and into the territory she knew by heart from her time as a police officer there.
"Very well," Colin replied, knowing her background and seeing the advantage of it.
"I'll contact you when and if I find anything," she said. Without a second thought she left, leaving Colin to his own itinerary.
Her first stop was to her old precinct. The officers she had worked with greeted her warmly. Others she didn't know drew back a bit once they saw her skryll. Amidst many happy welcomes, she managed to get to the evidence room where she found another old friend.
"Timotheus!" she cried as he walked around the counter and out of the cage to embrace her warmly.
Timotheus Marinatos was an older gentleman in his 50's and was coming up on retirement. He was gray haired and had kind, blue eyes. He had been like a father to Tara when she had worked in the department, giving her advice and looking out for her, when occasionally she was too reckless to look out for herself.
"Tara! Tara! Tara!" he said, as his partner in the cage watched on. The young man was obviously a rookie. "Let me look at you!" he cried as he held her away from himself. He noticed the skryll, but all her friends knew she was an Implant. When she had still been in Greece working for Ta'al, she had visited her friends regularly. But he noticed the extra size of her abdomen and its definite shape. "You're having a baby?" he asked with curious surprise, but joy in his eyes.
She nodded. "Yes, and I will bring her to visit! I promise! But first I need your help . . ."
The look in her eyes told him that something serious was going on. He looked over to his partner and called out to him. "Go grab a coffee and bring back some for our guest."
The young man nodded without asking why and disappeared down the corridor. But then, no one questioned Timotheus.
"What's going on, little one?" He asked, using the name he had given her whenever he was being the father figure she needed.
"I need something that cannot be traced . . . Something powerful . . " she explained, almost hesitating to come out and ask for what she needed. But if anyone could help her and understand her, it was him . . . "I need a hand gun. A semi-auto would be very helpful."
Shocked surprise entered his eyes. "But your skryll . . ."
She shook her head. "No . . . for this I can't use Chiron. It has to be a hand gun. One that cannot be traced . . ."
He looked deeply into her eyes and sensed her urgency. "This is something bad, eh?"
"I won't put you in danger by giving you too many details, Tim, but if I don't do what needs to be done, then many people I care about will die . ."
He weighed her words and knew she was telling the truth. Whatever was going on was very serious indeed. In his heart he knew what she planned to do with a gun if she got one, but he also knew her well enough to know that she would have to have one very good reason. She wasn't the type to do things recklessly. Suddenly, he nodded to himself, walked into the cage and disappeared into the back. Within moments, he returned with something in his hands. It was an old 9mm hand gun. It was loaded and ready to go. He handed it to her.
Her eyes stung with tears as she smiled having picked up his thoughts and emotions. Gratefully, she took the gun and put it in a jacket pocket. "Will this need to be returned?" she asked.
He shook his head. "The case was plea bargained, but the gun hasn't been taken for destruction yet. Since things are always getting lost here anyway, I will just lose the paperwork for you." He smiled gently with a shrug.
"Thank you," she said, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek.
"Whatever you are doing, be careful . . . I want to see you again. alive. . and your baby too . . . Not in the morgue."
"You will . . ." She replied.
Tim's partner returned with the coffee, Tara took a few sips and then made excuses to leave.
"I'll be in touch," she said loudly as she left her friend behind.
For another hour, Tara wandered around the sites of the city, remembering all the details of her life there. Thoughts of Ta'al were strong. He had been so much more to her than just the Taelon she'd worked for. He had been her family.
~Am I doing the right thing?~ she asked, wishing Ta'al were there beside her to give her guidance. But she knew it wasn't so much an issue of right and wrong as it was of one life or several . . .
Bolstering her resolve, she reached for her global.
"Augur," she said, as his face appeared.
"Ah, Ms. Carmichael, just what can I do for you?" he asked. He seemed busy.
"I need you to do something special that only your expertise can handle."
He smirked. "And what would that be?"
"I need you to contact Colin Grey anonymously and give him this message . . "
As she read off the instructions, he nodded.
"And may I ask what this is about?"
"Sorry," she replied. "Need to know basis only . . . I just need him there at that spot at that time."
"I shall do my best," he replied.
"Do it and I'll try to get one of your pieces of art back for you . ."
A smile crossed Augur's face and she knew that within the next three hours she would be facing her biggest challenge . . . Completing her actions . .
Tara grabbed dinner at an old favorite restaurant that she hadn't been to for some time. It was as good as ever, though she had to force herself to eat the delicious chicken. Her stomach was in knots. After she finished, she paid her bill and left the restaurant. As she walked, she put on her brown leather gloves and got into her rented car.
Immediately, she headed out of the city and to the hills. Just as she neared the rendezvous point, the sun began its leisurely descent below the horizon. She saw Colin Grey standing at the edge of a ravine with a sharp drop of 60 meters. She grabbed the gun and exited the car. Just as she neared him, he turned and looked at her, without surprise. He couldn't see the gun. She held it tightly behind her back, yet it wasn't obvious she was hiding a thing. She often stood with her hands behind her back.
"I knew you would come. Your ruse did work until I came to this point . . . Then the pieces began to fit together, Ms. Carmichael . . . " he explained, "And I began to remember things . . ." His black eyes narrowed on her. "You and all of your precious friends are going to die. Make no mistake about that. You are all traitors to the Taelons!"
"Don't you mean Zo'or?" Tara retorted. "And HIS Agenda?"
A cold, mirthless laugh escaped him. "Zo'or is a god! And I will be at his side when he rules over this world. You shall be dead along with your little friends. After, of course, Zo'or allows me to interrogate you . . ." he sneered.
"I don't think so," she replied calmly, her own eyes reflecting nothing.
"Oh really? Are you going to blast me with your skryll? That would be a little obvious, don't you think?" He began to open his global.
"You really haven't thought this through, have you? Why you're here . . ?"
As he looked at her, he realized what she had meant. She wasn't there to wipe his memory once again. She was here to kill him . . . with a gun! For an instant, time seemed to slow. The weapon was raised and aimed at his chest. Instantly, he raised his skryll to fire off a blast, but Tara was just a bit faster. Though his skryll fired, she was able to depress the trigger twice on her gun first. The sound ripped through her ears as she held steady against the backlash of the 9mm. Both shots hit Colin squarely in the chest causing the skryll blast to shoot far off to Tara's left. It was only a second, but that's all it took for his heart to be run through by a bit of steel.
She watched as the surprised horror came into his coal black eyes before he fell backwards to the ground. Deliberately she walked up to him touching his chest and neck, making sure he was no longer breathing and that his heart was not beating . . . She had to make sure that he was indeed dead.
Standing up, she took the gun and fired several more rounds into him, particularly his face, to look like a hate crime. Without any feeling, she removed his jewelry, his wallet and anything else of value and tossed them over the edge of the ravine, along with the gun. Once that was done she walked back to the car, but before she could reach it, she fell to her knees . . . weak and in tears . . . She had really done it. She had committed premeditated murder . . What had she allowed herself to do?
~Tara, what's going on?~ James asked.
He had obviously picked up her distress. She hadn't meant to let the feels escape her in any way, but it was obvious that they had.
~I'm all right~ she replied, ~I just . . . took care of business . .~
He was silent for a moment. ~Do you need to talk?~
~Not now. I still need to do a few things . . .~
~And Colin?~
~Talk to me later about it . . .~ she replied, trying to try her tears.
~You know how to reach me~ he ended.
As she finally calmed down, she knew she had done what was needed to keep those she cared about safe. But what had it cost her soul, she wondered? Regaining her composure, she grabbed her global and contacted the proper authorities.
"Losing Mr. Grey was very unfortunate," Na'ar said, speaking to Zo'or over the data stream.
"Have there been any developments as to who has done this?"
"It was believed to be a hate crime," Na'ar explained.
Zo'or posed a few more questions before cutting the transmission. As his face disappeared, Na'ar turned to Tara. She looked haggard and worn. It had been a week since she had found Mr. Grey's body.
"You do not seem well," Na'ar stated.
"I'm all right," she replied. "It's just been a difficult week for me."
"And why is that? You and Colin Grey were hardly friends."
"There are things that . . . I don't know if I should share with you . . . or anyone for that matter . . . But the emotional turmoil has caused my appetite to decrease and my sleep to become non-existent. My body is simply reacting to this . . ."
"There is more to this story than just a hate crime . . ."
"There is much more to it, Na'ar . . ." she replied. "How do you weigh one life against many? And does the end justify the means . . . ?"
He gazed at her with curious blue eyes. The story wasn't over, and he wanted to know the rest.
That night, Tara curled up on the couch in her country home. The renovations had been completed two weeks prior and she had everything moved in the following day. Though she didn't feel the Christmas spirit this year, she still had a tree up and the house decorated.
As she looked at the twinkling lights and drank a warm cup of hot cocoa, the door bell rang.
She looked to the clock on her wall. It was 9:00pm at night. She was curious who it could be. Getting up, she steadied herself a bit. She still felt weak since she couldn't seem to force herself to eat much. She then went to the door and looked out the window. She saw James standing there in the cold. Quickly she opened the door and smiled.
"Merry Christmas," he replied, handing her a gift.
"Thank you!" she replied, "Please come in. Where's Jen?"
She led him in and they sat down in the room where the tree lights twinkled brightly.
"She got stuck at the lab . . . " he replied.
"Would you like some tea? Or I just made some cocoa . . ."
"No, that's all right," he replied, taking in her appearance. She didn't look well at all. She was pale and was obviously weak. He was no doctor, but he could tell when someone wasn't eating and sleeping. "How are you doing?"
"All right, I suppose . . ." she replied, taking a small sip of her cocoa. "I got you and Jen something for Christmas as well. I have it sitting under the tree . . ."
"I suppose you know that there's more to my visit then just dropping off Christmas presents," he said, looking at her seriously.
She nodded. "I suspected." Tears started stinging her green eyes, though she fought them back
"Then I suppose you know I figured out what happened to Mr. Grey."
She nodded again. "I knew you would as soon as you heard," she replied, placing her cup on a nearby table.
"And how are you holding up?"
Suddenly all the memories flooded back to her and she relived the killing again for the hundredth time. Everything played back in slow motion. With that, she broke down and sobbed.
"You know, I use to be a cop . . . I use to arrest people for doing what I just did . . . Am I any better than them?" she asked.
James put his arms around her to comfort her. She turned toward him, wanting him hold her.
"Tell me why you did it, and I'll tell you if you are," he replied simply.
"At one point before Grace left, Colin got into her private journal. She was keeping it for her baby and as a record for the Resistance. He knew everything that was in that journal. Who was Resistance. Who had helped the Resistance . . . Anything Grace thought was important. But rather than letting Grace kill him, I altered his memory." Another sob escaped her. "But it wasn't good enough! He began to remember . . . He would have remembered everything from that journal . . . everything . . ."
"Then you had no choice. It was either allow him to live and kill all of us, or kill him and allow all of us to live . . ."
She nodded with a sniff, trying to regain her composure.
He felt for her. He knew what it was like taking a life that wasn't taken in battle or self-defense. If you weren't prepared, it was emotionally devastating. And it was obvious that Tara hadn't had time to prepare.
"I know that I did what needed to be done," she said. "And yet . . What has it cost me? How can I shake this feeling that I have gone against everything I believe in? I committed MURDER!" she cried again.
As she continued to sob, he just held her, allowing her to release her pent-up emotions. There was nothing he could say or do to help her through this. She had to find her own answers within herself, but he would be there for her in any way he could.
"If you hadn't killed him, we would all be dead. Me, Jen, Grace, Grace's baby, your baby . . . The list goes on . . . Sometimes doing what needs to be done means going against what we have always believed to be true . . . By killing one, you saved many . . ."
"I know," she replied, "I only wish I could get my heart to understand." Her tears subsided in a few minutes and she sat back up. "I'll be all right," she said, looked at him.
"In time," he replied . . . "But not if you don't get some sleep and start eating."
"It's that obvious?"
He nodded. "Before I leave, I would like to see you eat something."
She smiled. "I suppose I could try . . . If you would like to stick around for awhile I can make a late supper."
"That sounds good," he replied, not so much from hunger as just to see Tara eat.
Tara stood and headed to her kitchen.
He watched as she disappeared from view. He knew he'd have to talk to Jen about Tara. If her condition worsened, he'd have Jen examine her and put her on medical leave if necessary. It was obvious that Tara could not keep going the way she was. He was worried about her and knew he wasn't the only one.
"How does steak sound?" she called out. "I have a couple that need to be cooked anyway . . ."
"That sounds great," he replied.
As he stood to join her in the kitchen, he looked at her tree and at several gift baskets there. The one for himself and Jen was prominent and he read the tag.
To my very dearest friends, Jen and James.
Somehow, he knew Tara would make it through this part of her life and between Jen, himself, Ryan and everyone else that cared about her, she would see that her act wasn't something born from the desire to kill, but to protect. With one more look at the tree, he turned away and followed Tara's path to the kitchen.
As Tara pulled out of the memory, she saw that Jayson was sitting across from her, questions in his brown eyes. Though he hadn't seen them often, he knew she'd had a memory intrusion and had just relived part of her life . . . From the fact her face had gone pale, he knew the memory had not been a good one.
"Are you all right?" he asked with concern.
She nodded. "I will be . . ." she answered with a slight smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"What was it?"
She paused and sighed. "Have you ever had to do something so against your beliefs that you almost hate yourself?" she asked.
"Tara, what are you talking about?" he asked.
She was quiet for a moment. "I'll tell you when we get home . . . I don't think I could bear to talk about it here . . ."
He nodded, still filled with concern. "Okay . . . when we get home."
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