The Nightmare

*Jayme was trapped and was being assaulted by the three Nausicans.  She recognized the room she was in as being on the McCoy.  She was restrained, and Marki and Kama bound nearby.  The captain struggled and screamed and fought like a wild cat and finally after some cajoling she was able to entice the three-some to unsecure her legs, and then each took an arm while the third moved into assault her.*

Karissa had been about to leave her office for the night after a late admit she’d consulted on and was walking toward the lift when she felt the terror, the pain, and then heard the screams and realized they were coming from room 301--Major Alcon's room.  Two nurses also were running from the nurses’ station having identified it as the Major from the constant monitoring. The EEG alarms were sounding from the monitor above the bed as Karissa dove into the room.  She saw Jayme struggling and gasping for breath.  Her eyes were open but she was somewhere else...  The head nurse handed Karissa a hypospray, as she said, "MELORAZINE--20MG, Doctor --per your standing order."

Karissa injected it into Jayme's thigh and turned to the nurse and said, "Page Dr. Fletcher--stat!"   Karissa took the tricorder from the second nurse and saw that her neurotransmitters were dropping and she was at least relaxed… no longer screaming.  "I need a hypospray with 500mg's of Serotonin."

Jayme sighed and continued to stare at the ceiling.  Her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides.  She fought to control her breathing and to relax the muscles in her neck, back and legs.  She felt a hand slide into hers and she convulsively closed around it then closed her eyes.  She concentrated on making the beep of the monitors more steady, as she pulled every shield she'd ever created up around her mind.

The nurse entered and handed the hypospray to Karissa who double checked the meds and then administered it to the arterial site in Jayme's neck.  She sat back and waited a few more minutes when the nurse came in and said, "Dr. Fletcher's tied up in surgery--ma'am."

She sighed. “All right, I can stay here awhile. Will you please contact Dr. Hancock and let him know I’ll be late getting home?”

The nurse nodded. “Will do.”

“Thank you,” Karissa replied, knowing today was an administration day for Will, unless any big emergencies came up so he’d already be home. Taking a seat beside Jayme, she continued to monitor her. She watched as the nurse disappeared out the door.

Jayme woke the next day, rolled out of bed feeling a shadow of anxiety. She also felt stiff and sore all over her body.  She showered, dressed and walked down the hall way to Karissa's office.  Inside she walked over took the meds, picked up the protein shake and took a seat on the couch.

“Good morning, Jayme,” Karissa greeted with a smile. “How about you tell me about your nightmare? I think that’d be a good place to start today.”

"You want to know about the nightmare?  Which one "  Jayme asked running her fingers though her hair.  "Oh, you mean the one I had last night?"  She took a sip of the drink and thought about it and realized that Karissa knew...knew the details.  "You stepped into my reality last night--so why do I need to say it?"

”Because it'll help you deal with . . . You have to think about it . . . You have to put it into words. But it will also no longer be inside you . . .” she said. “Sooner or later, you'll have to deal with what happened. And it would help you if that were sooner.”

"I know!"  Jayme stood and wandered around the room and stopped a moment watching the fish swim in the tank.  Then she said, "Its not the first time I've dealt with being assaulted.  Karissa and I have been through this before..."  Jayme crossed her arms over her chest and took several deep breathes.  "I'm more worried about how Marki and Kama have dealt with this. I know they've both talked to you and you can't disclose anything to me.  I haven't even shared this with Nathan."

“He didn’t treat?” she asked, not surprised, since she’d read Jayme’s file over several times, but she wanted the woman to give her the details herself.

"No, I was treated initially on the McCoy, but haven’t had any further medical exams or treatment."  Jayme turned and walked back to her seat to find Karissa leaning against the front of her desk watching her.  Jayme saw something else behind her eyes and said, "He knows...how?"

Karissa shrugged. “That letter from your mother was pretty obvious. But remember, he’s a doctor and that exam on the McCoy happens to be in your medical file.”

Jayme wrapped her arms around her chest in a protective hug, and said, "Oh...I should have known.  It wasn't supposed to be--Lt... Sidle said it wouldn't...that bitch."  She rested her head down on her knees and refused to look at Karissa.

"But your mother also knew . . . and I believe Lt. Sidle would have gotten into trouble had she not admitted it into your record, Jayme . . ." Karissa said gently. "Not just that, it's important for those of us who treat you to know these things. It helps us help you better."

"No, I'm not mad at my XO...I'm mad at my 'mother' for bringing it up and making it an issue with Nathan."  Jayme sat back in her seat, feeling very shaky and tired.

Karissa sighed and paused for a moment. "How much do you trust Nathan?" she suddenly asked, observing Jayme carefully.

"I trust him with my life!"  Jayme exclaimed.  "Why?"  she asked a hint of suspicion colouring her voice.

"Well, if you trust him so much . . . why did you feel you needed to hide this from him?" she asked gently.

"You've spent time with him...you know he feels thing so very deeply and he would have harboured some guilt about this happening.  He was very worried when the order came for me to be 'deployed' by Tarik...  He thinks he can or needs to protect me.  Had he been there he would have gotten himself and possibly others killed.  I was trying to protect him from the dark and dirty side of war.  Do you understand?"

"I can understand it while the war was going on," she replied. "But what about after? I know you've had these nightmares for a while . . . and I bet last night's was a reoccurring one."

"Yes, on the nights that I've stayed in the city I've resorted to taking the meds Karissa had ordered prior to being deployed...to prevent me from having them in his presence. I thought I could deal with this on my own.  Also, it’s easier when I'm living on base --away from him"

She bit her upper lip and then said, "I was wrong.  I can't deal with this on my own.  Can you contact him and arrange for us to have some time, so that I can break this to him?"

Karissa smiled gently. "Of course," she replied. "And I just want you to know that I think you're making the right decision for you and for him."

"We'll, see about that when he comes to you because he's having associative nightmares from what he learns..."  Jayme looked away, reached up and brushed a tear away.

"Jayme, he's stronger than you think . . . and he wants to know these things no matter how difficult they might be for him . . . He wants to be there for you," Karissa said. "And he will be when you start opening up to him . . . It's important to start trusting those of us around you. But especially Nathan."

"You are all very competent in what you do...and I trust you to do what you think is best.  I have never held any faith in counselling...Karissa probably warned you of that.  Besides, medical professionals make bad patients...you must know that."

"Yeah, he's a good guy and its going to be hard to tell him..."  She trailed off into silence.  She watched Karissa closely and then said, "No.  I am fine, don't need to be examined...it was done on the McCoy.there isn't any problems as I've managed to get knocked  up by Nate on leave.  So, my answer is--NO!

Karissa was silent for a moment. "It could be time for some re-evaluations on some of those exams . . . Not that anything would be found this late, but it would be good to know for certain that some of the damage that had been done has healed properly. I mean, just because you've gotten "knocked up" as you say, which is something I'd like to return to, it doesn't mean that there wasn't some permanent damage done. It's best to know for certain."

"And trust me, it won't matter if you're a bad patient."

"Nathan would have known from any of our nights together if there'd been a problem.  This has been documented already and I refuse.  It's not like we are going to prosecute the perps."

"I could order it," Karissa replied. "But how about we take this one step at a time? I'll set up some time for you and Nathan to talk . . . Then we'll deal with this issue. After all, it could cause complications with the pregnancy if something were actually wrong . . . Now I also want to know how you feeling about the baby? I know we've talked a little about this . . . But you still seem a bit ambivalent."

"Go ahead and order it!  It's not going to happen."  She crossed her ankles and leaned back in her seat and shook her head.  I'm pregnant and Nathan is the father and we are going to raise the child the best that we can.  Nathan and I have discussed a plan and I think it will work out.  It was unplanned and yes, to a certain aspect its still very distant reality.  Personally, I think the meds you have me on are still keeping  layer of detachment."

"It's not the medication, Jayme . ." she said with a certainty in her tone.

"It still makes me feel all fuzzy and disconnected.  You said, you'd do something about it, no instead you keep increasing the doses...  I'll talk to Nathan.  Nate could do the exams.  Right now, I have a headache and want to go back to my room! Sir."

Karissa surveyed her carefully. "Oh."

"I'll advise the nurse to give you something for it," she said. "I'll come check on you later and let you know when I've had a chance to talk with Nathan." She knew it was time to let Jayme have a break. They had been covering some heavy stuff

Jayme stood and turned for the door then turned back, "You'll talk Nate into doing the exams?" She asked.

She sighed. "I'll do my best. Worst comes to worst, I'll be doing them, but we'll see."

Jayme nodded and walked out of the office and picked up her honor guard and walked back to her room and laid on her bed.  Soon a nurse entered and poked her finger for a blood sample and noted something on her PADD and then handed the Marine a small sample of blue liquid, "Something for your headache."  She said, as the other woman tossed off the meds and laid back down.

The door opened and Karissa and Nathan entered shortly there after.

"What now, Jayme snapped expecting her husband without the counsellor."

"Nathan's here to see you," she said. "I just wanted to come by and see how the headache's doing. I just saw the nurse, so I suspect the medication hasn't had a chance to kick in yet."

"What was the nurse checking for when she poked my finger, Karissa?" 

Nate walked over pulled the blinds on the windows closed to darken the room and saw the pain creases on his wife's face ease up.  "Better?"

"Yeah. Will you hold me?" She asked.

"Sure."  He said as she scooted over and gave him room behind her to spoon er body.

"We're just doing an in-depth screening of your blood," she said. "Just to make sure all is well."

"You gave me some meds last night?"  She relaxed as Nates arms went around her and she felt warmer instantly.  He gently messaged her temple and neck.  "Are my levels, okay?"  She asked closing her eyes.

"They've been changing rapidly, but the levels were starting to even out last I looked," she said. "Anyway, I'm going to leave you two for now. I'll be back later to make one more check unless you need me sooner."

She had told Nathan that Jayme wanted to speak with him and knew he'd pursue the matter after she left.

Jayme sighed and wanted nothing more then to sleep.  She heard the door close behind Karissa then heard Nathan asking her about the nightmare.  She shook her head negative and tried to distance herself and put the question he'd asked out of her mind, and then began rambling on about the nightmare and assault.  By the end of it she was crying and shivering.  He pulled the blanket up and tucked it in around her as he moved back to hold her.  Whispering, "it will be all right, Jayme.  We need to do an exam."

She mumbled, "Will you do it?"

"No, I'm not qualified to treat you...you're my wife.  I'll be there to help you through it and hold your hand though..."

"No."  She said as she drifted off to sleep, her body echoing her pulse that resounded though her head.