Dinner on Base

Jayme woke and found the day gray, wet and windy.  She sat down in the atrium off the back of her quarters and noted the plants, the hot tub, and the Barbecue.  She leaned back and knew that Nathan was up and around.  She saw him walk out of the office and around to the kitchen where he stayed out of sight for about five minutes before coming to her with a tray of tea and breakfast.  He handed her a cup of tea and set the tray in such a way that her meds where right there.  She picked them up and took them  with a swig of tea.

"Nathan, what's on the agenda for today?  Please tell me we are going out or something?"  She said doctoring up a piece of toast.

"Yeah, Karissa and Will will be joining us for dinner.  They haven't seen the remodel--yet, and I thought it would be a nice way to spend the evening.  Was hoping you'd help me plan the menu?"  He smiled and a lock of dark hair slid over his left eye.

Karissa settled the twins down at the table to eat their lunch. Tuscan Tomato soup, and grilled cheese sandwiches with milk. The kids ate eagerly.

"Now you two have to be good for River, tonight, Okay?"

The kids stopped eating long enough to look at their mom. "We not coming?" Maya asked.

"Not tonight, baby-girl. Maybe next time. Tonight Dad and I need some big people time. But maybe we'll bring you back something."

"I wanna play with River!" Luc smiled.

"And you will," Karissa smiled and she kissed them both.

Suddenly Will walked in and wrapped his arms around Karissa's waist from behind. "So do us big kids get lunch too?" he asked as he kissed her cheek.

She smiled. "And just what would you like?" she asked.

"What the kids are having smells good!" he replied.

"Then that's what you'll have," she said as she went to get them both some lunch. "So, do you think we should bring anything with us tonight?"

"How about a nice bottle of . . .  sparkling cider," he said with a smile. "OR we could try for a nonalcoholic champagne for the season."

As she placed the food in front of him and nodded. Or maybe both . . . and how about a poinsettia?"

"I'll leave that one up to you," he smiled.

As she sat down to her own lunch, she nodded.

Jayme finished breakfast and thought about what she wanted to eat that night.  "Nate how about seafood, garlic bread, and a pasta dish?"  She asked him while he finished his breakfast.

"I could go into the city and get some of those large clawed crustaceans from Lake Town.  You want to make that Pesto pasta salad of yours?"

"Sounds good."  She smiled and asked, "Are you done in the office, I think I'm going to try and catch up on some paperwork thats in my office here on base."

"You have two hours, that's all the longer it will take me to get to Lake Town and back.  After that its nap time until Will and Karissa arrive."  He said standing and kissing the top of her head.  "Be back soon."

Finally evening arrived. Karissa walked out of the bedroom in a long sleeved, black velvet dress that came down to mid-calf. It was gathered at her waist by a diamond studded belt. Her neck was accented by a diamond necklace. Her hair was up and make up was on.

"Mommy looks pretty!" Maya said as she went to her mother and hugged her.

She picked up her daughter and kissed her. "I'm glad you think so."

Will walked up with River, as he carried Luc in his arms. He was dressed in a dress pants, a white shirt and a gray sweater.

"You do look stunning," he smiled at her.

"You don't look too shabby yourself . . ."

As they both put the kids down, they took each other's hands.

"You two, come with me . . . Time to say good-bye to Mom and Dad for awhile." River said gently. "I have some warm cocoa for you in the other room."

"Cookies too?" Luc asked.

River laughed. "Yes, cookies too."

"Bye, bye, Momma, Bye bye, Daddy," the kids said before running off.

"I guess that means we're really kid free tonight," Karissa smiled.

"Then we'd better enjoy it."

He kissed her once tendery before leading her out the door.

Jayme woke from her nap and showered and dressed in black stirup pants, and a purple knit sweater from her collection from SB901.  She slicked her hair which was longer then she liked behind her ear and lightly applied some eyeliner and lipsealer.  Nathan was dressed in dark slacks and shirt and an old fashioned tie.  She walked over and kissed him.  "Okay recipe is programed into the replicator for the pasta...what do you want me to do?"

"Find a comfortable place to sit and relax until our guests get here   we don't need for you to start having contractions again."  He kissed the tip of her nose and lead her by the hand into the living room.  She asked, "why are these rooms so familiar?"

He smiled and said, "You loved the condo in the city so when I sold it I found the designer and had them design this apartment--and took ideas from what you liked of your quarters on SB901.  This is all of our stuff from both places.  Hoped you'd love it."

"Oh I do."  She said curling up in a chair to wait while he went to start ordering up dinner.  Within minutes he brought her a cup of herbal tea.

Not long after that the sensor to the door chirped.

Jayme stood and walked to the door and let it open, and ushered her guests in  from the lobby area of the top floor of the Officers Barracks.  She took Karissa's jacket and tossed it over the near chair and hugged Karissa and then greated Will as he entered.  "Welcome to our home, come in."

Karissa looked around. "This looks great!" she smiled. "some of it sort of reminds me of Starbase 901 . . ." she said.

Jayme gave them a brief tour and, said, "Nathan did all of this while I was at Paladin.  He started it the day he was on base when Rescue 1 found me."

"Lets have a seat in the living room and wait for Nathan to say dinner's ready.  So, Karissa--how are you doing?  You look tired and were pretty hesitant about accepting this dinner invite.  What's up?"

Karissa smirked. "I might very well have Will prescribe me something, since it's unethical for me to prescribe for myself . . . Something to help me sleep without dreaming . . ." She admitted, sensing Jayme already suspected the truth though it hadn't been said.

"Join the club... better living through chemistry."    She laughed and then said standing, "Anyone want anything to drink?"

"In fact, we did bring a couple of items we thought you might enjoy," Will said handing over the sparkling cider and the non-alcoholic champagne.

"Lets start with the cider, and save the champagne for after dinner...Will do you want to help in the kitchen with Nathan?  I think I'll just sit here and talk to your wife."

"I think that's a slendid idea," he smiled and got up, vanishing into the other room.

"Karissa, I understand why Nathan is off my case and not making medical decissions for me and I know its been hard for him.  There is a fine line with treating family...maybe your husband shouldn't be writing prescriptions for you either?"  Jayme said while the guys were in the other room.

Karissa sighed. "You could be right . . . I guess it's automatic since Will has been looking after my health for the last three years.

"Hell, I could send the order in for a med to help you sleep.  Have you been hiding in the Holo deck between cases?"  Jayme asked watching Karissa's face.

“Actually no . . . Though the thought has crossed my mind," she said. "Lets just say you're definitely not the only one having nightmares now . . ."

"Karissa, is there anyway to recall Kassia to help with your work load?  And I think I'm going to need one to add to my staff."  Jayme adjusted her position and rested her hand on her abdomen which was starting to show prominently.

"Well, I can always put in a request. It's always possible," she replied. "I suppose I could use help. Especially at this time of year," she added quietly.

"Or how about Claire...she's suppose to be qualified, right?"  Jayme said.

Karissa nodded. "She might be a little busy with the baby, but I could definitely ask and see if shes interested in the position. I don't think Starfleet would turn down my recommendations for someone to help with the load . . . After all, more and more people are coming to Serenity and I see everyone. Not just Starfleet personnel.

"In that case maybe you should request two...knowing starfleet sense of humor you might get 1 of them and a promise of a second."  She saw Karissa nod.  "Maybe I could help you out and reduce my visits to just once a week?"  Jayme said with a wink.

She laughed. "Nice try . . . So how have you been sleeping? And no I'm not asking as a counselor . . . Just as a friend."

"I'm not sleeping very well at the moment and its not really because of nightmares...I've been on bedrest for the week and I don't do anything that tires me out.  But I'm taking the meds you ordered, including the sleeper."  Jayme accepted a glass of iced cider from Will.  Who then walked over giving his wife one.

"I'm still on occassion having the nightmares; but the new problem is not the lack of sleep but that they trigger an intense round of contractions."

"I know you hate medication," Will offered. "But you are far enough a long to be getting something to stop those contractions."

"Thanks for the offer Will, but Colonel Hali Danar put me on Trabutin already and Nate has orders to hit me with a shot of magnesium sulfate if they continue to break through that med.  Karissa--how about I see Will for my medical and you for just the counseling...that would free you up some."

Karissa thought about it for the moment. Will looked at her and gave her a subtle nod.

"It might be good for you," he said gently.

Karissa smiled. "All right," she said. "It's probably best."

Jayme shifted position, then stood.  "I'm just going to go check on Nate in the kichen."

Will looked at Karissa and took her hand. "You know, you do look so worn out . . . I wish you'd talk to me."

"I'm fine, really . . ." she tried to assure him.

"And you don't plan to tell me about the nightmares you've been having?" he asked.

She looked at him with surprise.

"You didn't sense that I was awake each end every time you've had one?"

She shook her head. "No . . . I guess I was a little preoccupied . . ."

"Are you ready to talk about it now?" he asked.

"They're just nightmares, Will . . . I just keep reliving the past," she said. "The anger, the fear . . . The pain . . ." she added quietly. "I just didn't want to burden you."

"Or hurt me?" he questioned. "Darling, just because you you're dreaming of him isn't going to hurt me. What you went through was a big trauma. I would be rather surprised if you didn't have nightmares about it. I'm just more concerned about the frequency. They've increased."

Karissa was quiet as she thought about it. She knew he was right. And her lack of sleep was putting her on edge. Her emotions were closer to the surface and part of her wanted to find a place to just be alone. And she knew it was being brought up by the fact that the anniversary of Ryan's death was this month . . . Though she loved the holidays, since that day two years ago, they were a struggle to get through.

Jayme took another cup of tea from Nathan and said, "Get Karissa to let you look at her...please?  I have a gut feeling that somethings very wrong."  She leaned against the counter.  With her free hand she rubbed rings around her abdomen while thinking.

"Jayme?"  He said walking over and resting his hand over hers.  "Are you having contractions again?"

"No.  Just kicking."  She smiled with her eyes closed and after a few minutes she felt him remove his hand and kiss her.  He walked to the doorway  and said, "Dinner is on."  He watched a moment as the two-some was in an intense quiet conversation and Jayme was right, Karissa looked tired.  He watched them rise and walk to the set table.  He pushed Jayme out of the kitchen and finished taking hot dishes to the table himself.

"I think you've outdone yourself," Karissa said. "It all looks and smells fantastic."

"Thank you," Nathan said.  He sat down and passed the red shelled cold water shelfish to Karissa.  He watched while Jayme took small amounts of everything.  She picked at her food and tried to carry on several conversations.

Karissa had also taken a little of everything, though a little more shrimp. But she also wasn't eating as much as she normally did. Will observed both women.

"Are you both all right?" he asked.

Jayme finished swallowing and blotted her mouth with her napkin before answering, "Yeah, I'm must trying everything...everyonce in awhile I find something that sounds good but just doesn't agree with the baby--must be hormones.  But I'm definately going to have more of the shrimps.  Plus the baby is kicking like you couldn't believe at the moment and so I'm just going slow."  Jayme looked at Karissa wondering what the other womans excuse was going to be."

“And what about you?" Will asked Karissa.

"Well, it's all delicious. I guess I'm just a bit tired," she replied. "It sometimes decreases my appetite."

"And you're not sleeping normally," Will added.

Nathan cleared his throat and said, "Will, we've only been eating for about fifteen minutes...lets give them a little more time before we jump on them."  Both men made eye contact and then went back to eating their own meals.  Jayme took a sip of water and then started eating again.  "Can I get you anything Karissa?"

Oh no . . . I'm fine," she replied softly. But her mind had wandered back to her nightmare of the night before. It was the same one she'd had on and off for the last two years. Reliving the day Ryan Evans died before her eyes . . . all she'd needed was a few seconds to have saved him .. . Seconds she hadn't been allowed. Suddenly, she startled everyone as her fork slipped from her hand, clattering on the plate.

"Oh my god . . . I'm sorry," she said, getting up. "I think I need some air." With that she stepped away from the table and headed toward the patio.

Jayme motioned both guys to stay put.  She stood and took Karissa's glass of water, picked up Nathans tricorder from the desk, and walked out into the atrium and closed the glass door behind her, and said, "Karissa?"  She handed her friend the glass of ice water and set the tricorder on a near by planter and then moved in to hug the other woman. "Ryan?"

Karissa nodded. "I'm use to having the nightmares every so often . . . But it seems December rolls around and they increase . . . very badly." She sipped at the water greatfully.

"Survivors Guilt...Karissa.  You know more about that then anyone I know.  There was nothing you could have done to save Ryan.  You've tired to play out various senerios in the Holo deck and you've never found a way to have made the difference, have you?"

She shook her head. "Believe me, I do know this . . . But it's something I've never been able to entirely let go of . . . I suppose that happens when the man whose become the other half of your heart is killed before your eyes." Wearily she wilted into a chair and sighed. "I'm suppose to be the counselor, but this is one thing even I haven't been able to overcome . . ."

"You aren't weak, but Karissa there is no way to bring him back and if you did...what would you do...you're with  Will and have two beautiful toddlers.  I don't think Will would want to share you like that and I know he wouldn't leave you!"

Jayme sat down in another chair.  "What else is going on girlfriend?"

"You know, the crazy thing is I've been also have nightmares of the fire I was rescued from as an infant. I mean, I do occasionally still have nightmares, but even they seem to have increased. I guess December has turned out to be the month I don't sleep . . ." She said with a smirk. After all, one had to keep a sense of humor during times like this. "and I have all the usual holiday stuff I'll still do, but my heart isn't entirely with it . . . I know what this is. It's more than survivors guilt. It's also called a body memory. Whenever someone experiences a trauma, their body remembers it around the anniversary of it . . . and December 20th was the worst day of my life . . ."

Jayme reached around and picked up the tricorder  and silently asked Karissa's permission.  "The boys are going to be getting antsy."  She watched the tricorder for a moment and then nodded and put it away.  "You're exhaused and your neurotransmiters are all off of normals.  I'm not credentialed yet so I can only make a sugestion but please let me get Nathan and have him give you an SSRI."

Karissa paused for a moment, but eventually nodded. She knew she'd been putting things off long enough.

Jayme stood and walked to the door and went into the living room and showed the tricorder readings to Nathan while Will silently listened.  "Do you agree and SSRI would be beneficial here?"

Nathan looked at Will who shook his head, *yes*.  Nathan took the tricoder and went to their bedroom where he picked up a medkit and walked out to the atrium and sat across from Karissa.  Jayme hugged Will and led him to the couch and returned to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of Guiness from the replicator and took it in to Will.  "Here, Doctors orders."  Jayme said sitting down on the couch across from him.  "She needs a break.  I hate to say this but you need to tranq her ass!"

"I've considered it," he replied. "She hadn't told me about the nightmares she's been having, but I wake to them almost every evening now . . . She just gets up from the bed and leaves the room. It's always at least an hour before she returns to bed if at all, I've noticed . . . But I've been so hesitant about giving her anything."

"You know that Nathan has pretty much except for emergencies won't handle my medical care...maybe you should let Nathan or myself work on her and you just be her support.

"I think at this point it would be a wise decision," he admitted. "I'm too close to what's going on to be objective with her."

"I think that is one of the reasons Nathan backed off along with just wanting to shake the shit out of me when I don't feel good or won't follow doctors orders."   Jayme stood and paced for a few minutes and debated cleaning up the table and decided to just go get her glass of ice water.  She wished they would come back into the house, it was actually pretty chilly in the atrium.

"It's all right, Nate," Karissa said softly. "If you have to medicate me, you know I'm not afraid of meds . . ." She sighed.

Nathan readied a hypospray with 500mg of seratonin  with dopamine.  "The first dose will be injected, Karissa to help get you out of crisis.  Then I want you to take 50mg sarazone twice a day.  When I'm at Paladin on Saturday, I want to see you and I'll check a level then to see if we need to increase it or if you've been missing doses...you understand?"

"Well, not like I won't be there," she smiled gently. "Besides, if I forget to take it, I have Will to help me remember . . . You know, I just didn't want to trouble him. He's seen me through so much . . . He  shouldn't be burdened with my problems."

"When you love someone, its never a burden, Karissa.  Remember you have friends, and you and Jayme have more in common now then ever.  Maybe the new year will be bright for both of you.  Now, lets go finish eating and then I want Will to take you home, tranq you and you take tomorrow off--thats an order."

"All right," she replied with a soft smile. "Since it's doctor's orders."

With that she followed him inside.

"Everything all right?" Will asked.

Nathan came through the door and said, "let me reheat the hot stuff and lets finish dinner."  He grabbed two dishes and disappeared and momentarily returned.  Everyone sat down and started again.  "Maybe we should eat all are meals in stages...I might eat more this way."  She smiled and laughed.

Karissa smiled and even managed to eat more than she had to start with. "Maybe that's not such a bad idea."

"Tonight I'm going to give you something to help you sleep." Will said.

She looked at Nate and smirked. "I know, doctor's orders. That's okay, I'm fine with that. I'm also taking tomorrow off - also Doctor's orders."

"To be honest, I'm relieved," Will said. "You've needed a bit of a break for the last few weeks."

"Sure, join the club...I'm hoping to actually walk down and see what damage Sara's done to my office.  I've gotten some of the files updated and been in a meeting with her here...but i need to go scare my troops, and Nathan was going to go in and meet the staff at the infirmary here."  Jayme set her fork down and shifted her weight in her chair before asking, "so what's for desert?"

"Oh, dessert! I might be able to take a couple of bites," Karissa smiled gently.

"Brownies coming up.  And decaffinated coffee."  Nate said standing and taking dirty plates into the kitchen.  Jayme started to stand when Nate hollered, "sit down!"  She smiled and sat back down and smiled at Karissa who had the same basically doopy doppy eyes she remembered from starting on the meds.

Dessert passed with only the men seeming to have the engery to talk. Finally as Will pushed his empty plate away and saw Karissa still picking at her half eaten brownie, he looked at Jayme and Nate.

"Well, I think it might be time to get my girl home. She looks like she's about ready to drop," he said.

"I am about ready to drop," she smiled. "By the time we get home you'll be able to pour me into bed."

Will smiled and laughed gently.

"That's okay, and I think its been a busy evening and and Jayme has meds to take and she's been up for over four hours and I'd like to get her down with her feet up or she will be staying home tomorrow instead of going to her office.  We'll see you both on saterday at PMC."  Everyone stood and Jayme hugged Karissa and walked her over to get her coat and knew that the transporter would have them home in ten minutes or less.  It was a new feature at the base to help with facilitating meeting and troop movements.  "Night."

"Goodnight, Jayme," Karissa said embracing her friend back warmly. "I'll see you in a couple of days."

Will came up behind them. "Are you ready," he asked.

She nodded. "I think so . . . We'll have to do this again soon. Maybe next time I'll be better company." She smirked.

"Don't worry about it."  Jayme said.

The girls exchanged one more smile before Will took Karissa's hand.

"Thanks again for the invite. Good evening to you both," he said.

"Bye," Karissa added before they left.

"Jayme go take your meds and lay on the couch and I'll clean up.  Then I'll join you."  He picked up several dishes and headed around the corner to the replicator.  She went to the bedroom took her meds, brushed her teeth, and changed into her night shirt and headed for the couch.  "Can I have some of that non alcholic champagne...honey?"

"It's all right, Will. Go ahead and give me the tranq. I know Nate ordered it . . . He's seeing me later in the week to make sure my meds are stable . . ."

"I'm sorry I won't be your physician any longer, but-"

"It's all right," she said. "I agree . . . You're too close to me and to my situation. You can't be objective enough to make decisions for my care."

He sighed and nodded. "I should have figured you would have understood."

As he sat down beside her, she moved her hair to the side so he could inject the medication. After it was done, she gazed at him with her dark eyes.

"I'm sorry I never told you about the nightmares . . . I just-"

"Didn't want to burden me . . ."

"Yeah . . ."

"Karissa, no matter what happens, I will always be there for you," he replied. Tenderly he caressed her cheek and kissed her. "Now try to get some sleep."

"Oh, I don't think I'll need to try," she smiled as she could feel the tranq work quickly. "You might want to have another dose ready in about two hours. You know how fast my body processes this stuff.."

"I'll do that," he smiled as he gently laid her back onto the pillows. "Now close your eyes . . . Sweet dreams . . ."

"I hope," she mumbled as she drifted off to sleep.

Will gazed at her for several minutes before getting up and leaving the room. It was still relatively early, and he did want to check on her in a couple of hours . . . But he was relieved to know that at least she was finally going to have help through this month.