December Nightmares

*Karissa was trapped behind the decon wall, watching as Ryan fought the Naussican pirate.

“Oh, god!! Open! Open!!” she cried as she dropped to the ground, as the door started lifting slowly.

But suddenly, it was too late. She could feel it as she watched the Naussican plunge a knife into Ryan’s stomach and push him through the Iconian gateway.

“NO!!!!” she screamed, a sound of disbelief, anger and pain . . . so much pain.*

Suddenly, her eyes opened, her heart beat pounding in her chest . . . Since the end of November, her nightmares had increased in frequency. There was no mistaking why . . . It was December, and the closer it drew to December 20 th, the more frequently her nightmares occurred.

She sat up on the edge of the bed and ran a hand through her dark, damp hair. As quietly as possible, she got up and went into the bathroom. She looked at her reflection in the mirror . . . a pale face looked back at her. Though she had gone on with her life, part of her was still stuck in that moment . . . She had tried to use it in her therapy as a way to show that even under the worst circumstances it was possible to go on . . . But she had never fully come to terms with it. Part of her somewhere, still held onto the fact that had she just been a little fast, she could have saved him. The feeling wasn’t as strong as it used to be . . .

She ran some water and splashed it onto her face. For a moment, as she looked into the mirror, she could have sworn she was Ryan’s face. Jumping around, she turned to see Will standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

“Are you all right?” he asked. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I did . . .” she replied as she let out a breath, turned and leaned against the sink.

Will went to her and put his hands on her shoulders . . . He understood more than he could say. “It was another nightmare,” he said with certainty.

She turned and met his brown gaze with her own.

“You don’t have to say a word either way; because I know it . . . Every other night you’re waking up from nightmares.”

Even her eyes were beginning to show her weariness.

“You have to get some sleep . . . More than just your regular four, Karissa. At least until you can get undisturbed sleep again. I’ll make another appointment with Nathan if need be.”

“No one can shut off the nightmares . . . not for long without repercussions,” she replied.

“And what am I suppose to do? Sit back and watch you fall to pieces as the 20 th creeps ever closer?” he asked, caressing her face. “This happened last year as well . . . Karissa, we have to do something . . .”

She sighed and leaned her forehead against his chest. “I don’t know what to do anymore . . . Ryan’s gone. I know he’s gone . . . so why can’t I let go?”

“You’re the therapist, my love . . . but I suspect it has something to do with the trauma that you suffered,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “All we can do it take this month one day at a time . . . but first we need to get you to sleep . . .”

She sighed. “You want to tranq me . . .” she said. She didn’t even have to read his mind. She knew that was the only course of action.

“Yes, and if you don’t get rest, I will talk to Nathan about reducing your work schedule,” he said.

She groaned. “You would . . .” she replied.

“And you would too, in my position . . .”

She sighed. She knew he was right. “All right . . . give me the tranq,” she said.

Will went to a cabinet and pulled the preloaded hypospray. As he administered the dose of medication, her body seemed to instantly begin to relax.

“What if the twins wake up?” she asked, as he helped her to the bed.

“Just let me worry about that . . .” he said as he sat her back on the bed and kissed her. “Now go back to sleep . . . and have pleasant dreams . . .” Tenderly he tucked her in.

“If only it were that easy . . .” she said as she yawned. The medication was working faster than she anticipated.

“One of these Decembers it won’t be like this . . .”

As he got into bed, she snuggled against him. “Let’s hope that’s the case . . .” she said as she drifted to sleep.